WhoDeyRevolution

Control Has Been Restored to WDR

What a day.  We have finally been able to kick those gosh darn Steelers hackers off the site and regained control.  Sorry for that Comrades.  I think Mike Brown designed our security.  But didn't we learn alot today? 

What did we learn?

1. Steelers fans love Mike Brown because he ensures two easy wins a year for the Steelers.

2. Steelers fans seem to be a mostly irrational, uneducated bunch who failed third grade. 

3. No matter what injustices Mike Brown has done to this team and to you as a Bengals fan, you must always remember to be PROUD that you are a Bengals fan and PROUD that you are NOT a Steelers fan. 

So when you are watching the game tonight, be loud when yelling "WHO DEY" and proud that you are a Bengals fan.

Sexy Pixels

 

Cowher: Dibs on the skinny one. I'm going to run the old statue of chin play on her.

 Sexy Pittsburghian: I'm going to buck Cowher like a rodeo rider.

Steeler Nayshun is soooo Best

Ever since 2005 playoff game when Kimo von Oelhoffen blue-out Carson's knee, I have been loving life.  Their is this Bengals fan that I work with in the coal mines, and I give him shit everyday.  He's all like "we would have gone to the Super Bowl if it wasn't for that cheep shot!" and I am all like "5 rings bitches!!!!! How many do you have? None!"  And this one time I tossed a nugget of coal to him and he dropped it and I was all like "nice hands Ocho Stinko! Maybe you should go to catching schooul!"

My First Steeler Game

I remember my first Pittsburgh Steelers game like it was yesterday.  It was December 22^nd, 1996 in Charlotte, North Carolina.  My wife was 8 months pregnant with our 2^nd child and I told her I had an important business meeting in Charlotte.  Little did she know I went down to watch the best football team in NFL history! Here we go Steelers Here We Go!!!!  Now, I know you are wondering why I did not make it to my first Steeler game until I was 32, and why my first Steeler game was in Charlotte and not the Blue Collar Capital of the Blue Collar Nations PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA!

Well, I grew up in Kearnersville, NC so I didn’t have an NFL team growing up.  But I can remember the day I became a lifelong member of Steeler NATION.  It was a Sunday in January 1976, or so I later learned from my new "5 RINGS" TEE SHIRT.  I was 12 years old and I was over at my friend Tommy’s house.  When I got over there, Tommy’s parents were having a huge party.  It was Super Bowl Sunday!  I had never watched football before, so I had no idea who was playing.  Tommy was a big Cowboy fan, and since Tommy’s house smelled funny I wanted to root for the other team.  That other team was the one and only Pittsburgh Steelers.  This one guy who catches the ball made an amazing catch, and after watching the NFL films video of that game I learned it is the HALL OF FAMER Lynn Swann.  I knew I was hooked for life as a member of STEELER NATION.  I remember watching a few more games growing up, usually when the Steelers were in the playoffs, but I can’t tell you anything specific about that.

I did not watch many games in the 1980’s, but after the Steelers went to the Super Bowl in 1995, I WAS MORE DIEHARD THAN EVER!!!  I bought tickets for the Steelers Panthers as soon as I could.  Well, I mean my boss had an extra ticket so I went.  The game?  It was awful.  Some guy named Kordell played terrible.  Carolina won, I got real drunk and they showed my face on TV with my AWESOME TERRIBLE TOWEL.  My wife was watching the game and dumped me.  I didn’t care, she doesn’t have FIVE SUPER BOWL RINGS like the PITTSBURGH STEELERS DO.  Oh yeah, on the way home from the game, in a drunken stupor I told my boss I spend 2-4 hours a day just pretending to work.  I was fired on Tuesday.  I was so hungover I called in sick Monday.  From that moment on, I knew the only thing I needed in my life was the Pittsburgh Steelers.

I make it a point to go to every game in Washington, Baltimore, Philly, Charlotte, Atlanta and Nashville.  That way, every time the Steelers play a road game in one of these cities the announcers can talk about how “Steeler Nation” and how we are the BEST FANS IN THE WORLD!!!  We travel in huge numbers everywhere!!  I know I don’t really travel from Pittsburgh, and I have never actually been to Pittsburgh, but I BLEED black and gold!!!

I know what you stupid Bungal fans will say.  “You are not a real fan, you just picked the best team when you were 12.”  Well, the Bungals suck!  How many rings do you have?  I HAVE FIVE.  I sold my car to purchase replica rings on EBAY!   We Dey gonna beat you stupid Bungals.  I know I used to own a Boomer Jersey and wore it every day in junior college.  I know I used to do the Ickey Shuffle at every party that year.  But that was just a phase; I have bled Gold and Black my whole life.  Thursday night, we are going to DOMINATE again.  I will be at the Greensboro STEELER BAR and I drink a Miller High Life for every point my beloved Steelers score.  Hopefully I can sneak in one of the booths and crash for the night.  But that’s a different story. 

Project Status Quo Task #1 - Write a letter to Mike Brown cheers his efforts on!

Dear Mr. Brown,

I just wanted to express my gratitude for the great job that you do with the Cincinnati Bengals. We in Pittsburgh look forward to the two games per year when we can expect to beat yinz. Additionally, it is an esteem boost to our players as you seem to not mind when they destroy your first-round draft picks. And the Stillers love having three bye weeks a year.

Please do not change a thing about your franchise as your constant losing is helping other football organizations play winning football. You sir, are the redeemer that you say you are. You redeem criminals, coaches, and players that would never have a chance at playing on another NFL team. Chris Henry would not be an NFL player if it weren't for you, most other teams would never have signed Chris Henry after his criminal behavior, but you redeem! Bob Bratkowski would be asking customers if they want fries with that if you didn't intervene. And Caleb Miller can tell his grandkids that he was an NFL player because you were gracious enough to employ him.

You have no need for a general manager, you have the football pedigree of Paul Brown on your side. You have no need for a scouting department because all of your people have ESPN. That should be good enough.

As for the reprobate miscreants of the so-called "Who Dey Revolution", screw 'em! Their billboards and grass roots efforts are poorly constructed and will never affect your business of making money. You are about making money, you are about business. If wins happen to occur, bully for everyone (but wins and dollars are mutually exclusive). Other teams can not have this philosophy, but good for you for being the pioneer that other teams dare not imitate. You keep your fans hanging on by a thread. You make just the right moves to keep them interested and renewing tickets. Heck, the fans should be worshipping you for keeping the NFL in Cincinnati.

Stiller nation salutes you for also giving us one more home game per year as the fans of your team have generally given up on the Bengals by the time our game with yinz rolls around. They start selling tickets left and right, and they don't seem to care that the tickets are being sold to our fans. This means that anywhere from 5000 to 20,000 Stiller fans can drive four hours and watch their favorite team play, wave towels around, and turn the stadium with your legandary father's name on it into our own home field. Heck, you call the area from the 20-yard-line to the endzone the "Heinz Red Zone", Heinz is based in Pittsburgh, thanks for making us feel at home. That is what we can a "win-win-win". Our fans win because we get to see our favorite team play in person. Our team wins, because they get to beat your team. And you win because we buy your beer and food.

In conclusion Mr. Brown, you are loved in Pittsburgh and every other city that it fortunate enough to call your Bengals their opponents in that season. Fans every look at the schedule and see your team as a win for them. You make the fans of 31 other NFL franchises feel better about themselves because, hey, they don't have to root for yinz.

Sincerely,

(your name)

I all I want for X-mas is...

..a brand new, super awesome, amazing, incredible, beautiful, comfortable, sexy, sweet, sensual TERRIBLY TOWEL!!!

That is all I need in life to make me happy.  I still have my first Terribly Towel that I got years ago.

I use it as a wash cloth, my towel, toilet paper, dish rag, underwear, bandanna, scarf, broach, tissue, table cloth, art, rug, sheet, blanket, pillow, and jump rope.  I could not imagine going through a day of my life without one.

There is nothing better in this world that going to Heinz field in perfect Pitsburgh weather (rain, cold, sleet, and wind) and spinning my Terribly Towel over my head.  Sometimes I borrow my friends and bring two, just because it is so doubly awesome. 

I really think that if I were stranded on a desert island and could only have one thing with me...it would be my yellow Terribly Towel.  It is just so amazing. 

I think everyone understands where I am coming from, cause how could someone not like the Pitsburgh Steelers? 

Who dey?  We dey...thats who.  Pitsbrugh fan OUT.

Yinz Ready for Some Stillers Football?

woll , woll , woll ... If it isn't da bunch of lunch heads who think yinzes are alls better than us folk up here in still tahn.

Hey. Yeah I'm Talkin' to you! Bungles fans! We seen that little article yinz wrote last time we played yinzes. da one abaht da picksburg slogans and alls. Real funny! Oh my god! yinz alls are so funny! expecially dose slogans abaht Bill Cahr's jaw and stuff. woll guess wah, lunch heads, us picksburgers aren't gowen to tramp dahn to yinzes little nebby bidness. wir gentlemen.

Cincinnati? More like lunch head-Nasti! SNAP! Who Dey Revolution sounds like a bunch of lunch heads that need to git real jobs. Like working wit molten still and making it into stuff ats real hard and builds stuff and stuff like at. yinzes need to quit blaming Mike Brown fer yinzes problems, lunch heads. He built that dere stadium fer his daddy and it is made aht of tons of picksburg still, lunch heads. Good luck in da game tonight. yinzes are gonna need it.

And if yinzes can't read this n'at, cuz yinz are a bunch of lunch heads, than I suggest yinz skul yinzesselves and maybe take a little picksburgese course on da interweb-nets. We put together a little picksburgese web-site fer yinz lunch heads to maybe learn a ting or two. Jag offs!

I am a Stouche Bag

One reason for using unnecessary physical force on some nerd from my high school in order to hack into this site was to demonstrate that Steeler Nation has more pride than Bungles fans.  By the way, isn't the word "Bungles" just so innovative?  It sounds like Bengals but it's not and "bungle" means to screw something up.  It's genius.  I will therefore say it 9 million times throughout the duration of my life.  Anyway, back to the point....Steeler Nation is vastly superior to Bungle Nation as we have much more pride in our football team.  We will not be outdone in any aspect.  To that end, we've noticed Bungle Fans proclaiming that they are "douche bags" and citing examples of extreme dedication and loyalty to their franchise.  Well that's nothing compared to Steeler fans.  We are Steeler douche bags..."Stouche Bags" if you will.  Why am I a stouche bag you ask?  Well, let me tell you...

I have 37 terrible towels and will throw elbows at the next gameday give away at Heinz Field in order to get number 38.

I travel 290 miles and 5 hours every year when the Steelers play in Cincinnati to ridicule Bengals fans in their own stadium.  By the way, my other hobbies include urinating on the homeless, burglarizing low income houses and taunting the blind.

Top 8 Reasons Why I Love Pittsburgh

I saw where this loser made up 8 reasons why he hates Pittsburgh, or as I like to call it Football Town USA.  I call it Football Town USA because it is why Pittsburgh is so awesome, because we are good at football and we are in the USA.  I have decided to list the 8 reasons why Football Town USA is awesome and the Steelers are better than the teams from other cities who aren’t as good as Pittsburgh.  Here is my list:

8.  Mike Tomlin.  I’m pretty sure he is the most awesome coach to ever coach in football.  He is so tough and smart and is pretty much better than other coaches who don’t coach in Pittsburgh.  Everyone made fun of him last year for going for a two point touchdown in the playoff game against Jacksonville after the refs made up some holding call (the refs always screw us because they are mad they don’t get to be in Pittsburgh every week) against someone and then Ben couldn’t get the two point touchdown because Jacksonville cheated.  Well, let me ask you this.  Why would you go for a one point field goal instead of a two point touchdown?  Two is more than one.  You must be from somewhere other than Football Town USA!

7.  My wife.  My wife is so hot and she also likes the Steelers.  Her favorite player is Ben because he is the best and most tough player to play for football teams in as long as we can remember.  Ever since my mom and dad told me that I was going to have a 14th little sister I knew I would fall in love and marry her and we would love the Steelers together here in Football Town USA, which is what I call Pittsburgh.

6.  The Terrible Towel.  I don’t know why it is called terrible because last I checked terrible meant bad and there is nothing bad about the Terrible Towel.   I call it the Terrible (Actually Is Not) Towel, or TAINT for short.  The only bad thing is there isn’t enough of them.  The main thing I like about the TAINT is that you can wave it at any time during any game.  Steelers score a touchdown?  TAINT TIME! 2nd and 5 in the middle of the first quarter and Steelers are getting cheated so they are down 14 points?  TAINT TIME!  TV timeout? TAINT TIME!  You don’t have to think about when you want to waive your TAINT, which is why I like it so much because thinking about stuff is dumb.

5.  Bill Cowher.   He is the best coach in the time history of football as well as being tough and awesome and smart.  He has won a lot of Super Bowls in his life and has probably won more games than any other coach ever.  He was the coach of the Football Town USA (which is what I call Pittsburgh because we are good at football and are in the USA) Steelers for a long time.  Now he is the funneist guy on TV well 2nd funniest because the funniest is Larry the Cable Guy and sometimes the Bill Engvall Show.

We Dey! We Hacked Yinz Site!

Those "technical problems" yinz were having yesterday.  That was us hacking yinz's site!  The bungles are coming to Heinz Field tonight and we are now running the "We Dey Revolushon!"  We are going to be posting ALL DAY about how Pittsburgh is the best sports town in the country (if you don't consider the Pirates, Penguins, Pitt Panthers or Steelers during the 1980s).  We travel so well because of STILLER NATION who are fans that started following the NFL in the 1970s, then stopped following football for 15 or so years, then remembered in the mid-90s that they were in STILLER NATION!  Many haven't ever been to Pittsburgh but they are pretty similar to us natives because they have fat wives and are mostly unemployed!

So get ready bungles for a Stiller beat down tonight thanks to Mike Brown!  We love him!  He gives the Stillers two easy wins per year.  Keep up the good work Mike Brown!