IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
Hob, TE's, FJM-style.
The Bengals want more consistency from their tight ends,
I don't think consistency is the word you're looking for there. The ability to not suck? That works better.
but they aren’t ready to exile Dan Coats or J.P Foschi or activate third-rounder Chase Coffman
I think Marvin's making fun of our fair county, because if Coffman can't get time with these two buffoons ahead of him, then all-Hamilton County must not mean much. Or it means Coffman could absolutely walk on at Elder and start right away.
Continue reading "Aqua Bengal Has Better Hands Than Coats Without Opposable Thumbs." »
Training camp starts today. Optimism is all over the place, and I understand why. A healthy Carson Palmer, a talented draft class, Chad in a better mood, etc. To some extent it makes sense. But, here at WDR, we have 19 years of Mike Brown's history staring us right in the face, and we look behind the surface level optimism to address how different this Bengals team is than last year's 4-11-1 debacle.
First, Carson Palmer is healthy. Celebrate Good Times!!! Wait a second. How many games did healthy Carson win last year? Never mind. In the words of Drew Rosenhaus - Next Question.
Second, a great draft class? Maybe. But remember, the same bare bones scouting department was responsible for not only evaluating hundreds of college players, but also providing input on the dozens of free agents across the NFL. Also, Andre Smith does not help unless he is in camp. I know most/many of the other first round picks have not signed. So there still is time, and the Bengals have not messed this up yet. But really, deep down, how much confidence do you have that Andre Smith will be in camp, in shape within the week? If he is, kudos to Mikey and the crew. If not, just another piece of evidence why Mike Brown is the most incompetent owner in the history of pro sports.
More after the jump.
20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
