WhoDeyRevolution

1,000 Posts Celebrated With A Very Special Guest

WhoDeyRev passed the 1,000 posts mark last week. While that's probably not remarkable to all of you out there, it is to me so back off. If you could see the way Brosef Stalin talks to us in closed door meetings you would think, rightfully so, that we're the laziest bunch of bloggers that ever took off their sweatpants to sit down in front of a computer. To commemorate such an unlikely occassion, I sat down to have a chat with everyone's favorite protuberance.  

Bill Cowher's Racist Psychotic Chin Loves The Idea Of Crack.

These are some of the more illuminating* comments made by Bill Cowher's Racist Psychotic Chin during the draft. He has already been asked back for next year.

*Just wrong and very Pittsburghian

"You know, Pittsburgh gets all this credit for being a football town and whatnot, but I always had a problem with how little racially motivated violence there was when I lived there. And I'm not the only Iron City Ass Grappler that thinks so. Can't I get an accidental shooting by a cop once in a while so that the little chin will come out and dance for a couple songs."

"I really like that Clay Matthews kid, particularly his skin tone."

"The Broncos go through running backs like I go through face balm, and by face balm I mean dead prostitutes."

"Years ago I went on a scouting trip with my conjoined twin, Bill Cowher's face (God I hate that guy), and we were checking out some punk from some clown car school in the south. He wouldn't do 100 pushups for me or clean my rental car. No one ever saw him again."

"The Raiders will never be good if they're going to draft risky picks like Jamarcus Russel and Heyward-Bey when they should be selecting more mature, intelligent players. Guys like Rhett Bomar. He has a certain chin esque quality to him. I could definitely see myself being his lower jaw line."

"You know who I don't see enough of anymore, Cosmo Kramer. I caught one of his comedy sets in LA a year or two ago. Shit was transcendentally funny."

Look Out Himes...

...after he's done breaking your jaw, he's coming for your girl:

(h/t to reader Michael "Woolshin" Woloshin)

Bill Cowher's Racist Chin Thinks Your Draft Strategy Needs Some Work

As if he didn't have enough on his plate already, Bill Cowher's racist chin was hired Friday to appear for the NFL as a draft correspondent. When reached for comment, The Chin's agent read this press release after playing Metallica's Ride The Lightning to the assembled press, "bill cowher's Chin has agreed to help the NFL Network bring you, our viewers, the best possible draft Saturday."   

I sure am looking forward to it.

Bill Cowher's Racist Psychotic Chin Surfaces At League Meeting

Bill Cowher's Chin made his first public appearance since Super Bowl week when he held a press conference over the weekend at the NFL League Meetings in LA. During his very short presser he addressed several topics, Bill Romanowski, T.O. and Dhani Jones' show were among the things discussed.

On Romanowski - "Bill Romanowski has been unfairly persecuted by society. He is a valiant, god fearing, ethnicity hating everyman. Whenever we're working out, doing squat thrusts together, I ask him if he's going to be back in the NFL as a coach soon. He says no, regrettably no one wants him to be a coach or even a trainer for the team. I don't get it. Whenever I eat at his training table my lower chin region feels angry and ready to do some hittin."

On T.O. - "The Bills made a big mistake on signing T.O. He isn't going to make your team better. Just because he's fast and strong and productive on the field doesn't help you win games. You know who helps teams win games, Joe Jurevicious. Now that's a free agent a chin can respect."

On Dhani Jones - "My conjoined twin, Bill Cowher, proclaimed the Bengals were bound for the playoffs next year. I hang by his judgement. With that being said, why is one of their starting linebackers cavorting all over the world instead of being a good Bengal in Cincy, robbing liquor stores and smoking black and milds at the Red Cheetah. Also, did anyone else notice that Dhani was the only black guy in Switzerland. Romanowski could live like a king there."

Mike, Katie and Bill are BFF. Cowher Picture Going in My Season Ticket Cancellation

I recently purchased the picture on the left on eBay. 

"Brosef, have you sold us out for the dark side?"

No.  I am doing my part to stimulate the economy.  I will also be including this signed picture of Mike Brown and Katie Blackburn's favorite coach of their fave team in my season ticket cancellation notification.  Do not be surprised if you see this picture framed and hung right inside the Gate B entrance next year.

The Bengals obsession with praising and recognizing the Steelers, a team that any real Bengals fan despises with the fury of Christian Bale.  Not the Bengals!  Let's quickly review their unhealthy passion for our team's biggest rival.

1. In 2005, Katie Blackburn told the Enquirer that she was rooting for the Steelers in the playoffs because "the one time I root for teams in our division is when they are in the playoffs."

2. The Bengals cite Bill Cowher's commentin passing that the Bengals might make the playoffs last year as evidence that the team will turn things around next year, IN A LETTER TO SEASON TICKET HOLDERS.

3. The Bengals allow the Steelers to advertise their recent Super Bowl victory on Bengals.com.

4. Bengals.com writes a fluff piece on Ken Anderson getting his ring with the Steelers.  You know, the ring that he couldn't get in 3 decades on the Bengals? 

Does this sound like a team that has the pulse of its fans?  How freaking out of touch are the Bengals management?  Bengals fans (you know, your customers?) HATE the Steelers.  Stop praising them. 

I trust that Mike, Katie and Troy have my season ticket money stored in a coffee can in the back yard. This picture will likely be framed and hung inside Gate B.

New Rules for Jersey Etiquette at a Bengals Game

From 2003 to 2008 (the first five years of the Marvin Lewis era in Cincinnati), it was a crime for a fan of Mike Brown's Bengals to wear the jersey of a Bengal player that isn't on the team anymore. Nor was it acceptable to wear personalized jerseys (and be over the age of 13) or to wear college gear. And the Bengals Pro Shop was a must pilgrimage for a Bengals fan at least once of twice during the year.

But now that Mike Brown's Bengals have not hired a GM, have not added any scouts, performed like a big pile of suck winning only four games (all meaningless), was the only team in the bottom ten in the NFL that did not make any coaching or management changes, Marvin Lewis chuckled and battled through every press conference expressing that he doesn't really care if there are fans, and the team used former Pittsburgh Steeler coach Bill Cowher's quote to entice Bengal fans into returning(this would be like having Jim Tressel write Michigan football's season ticket renewal letter); the need to wear the jersey of an active player has gone in reverse.

Let's take a look at the new rules for jersey etiquette at a Bengals game...

Rule #1 - Who's jersey should you wear?

Used to be...

Wearing a jersey of a Bengals that is no longer on the team was grounds for endless ridicule. If your guy left town, your jersey should have been lit of fire (failing a store offering 50% another jersey with a trade in - ah, in a perfect world). Wearing the jersey of an active player or Bengal legend was a must.

Is now...

Wearing a jersey of a Bengals that is no longer on the team is awesome. The older the better, the more random the better. The more tattered the jersey the better. The only true tule is that the random players should be from the Mike Brown era. Gus Frerotte, Neil O'Donnell, Jeff Blake, Carl Pickens, Corey Dillon, Neil Rackers, Darnay Scott, Jon Kitna, Jeff Query, Harold Green, Eric Steinbach, Willie Anderson, Deltha O'Neal, Madieu Williams, Akili Smith, Peter Warrick, Kelley Washington, David Pollack, Odell Thurman, Justin Smith, Kenny Irons, and David Klingler are all in play.

To review...

buying and wearing a brand new Keith Rivers jersey: waste of money; wearing a David Klingler jersey that you've had for years stuck in a drawer: AWESOME! Keep this in mind when Mike Brown let's Touraj Houshmandzadeh (aka The Hardest Man in Bengals history) walk in about two weeks.

Bill Cowher's Racist Chin: Field Report

WDR reporter Mike Woelyoshoen is on the beat in Tampa and caught up with Bill Cowher's Racist Psychotic Chin at a Hooters near the stadium. In between signing autographs by smudging the lowermost tip of his "body" in hot sauce and then smearing it on the terrible towels that Steelers fans apparently and inexplicably carry around all the time, not just on gameday, the Chin answered some questions for us. Here is the transcript.

Mike W: Let's start off with the easy ones. Who's your pick for the big game?

The Chin: The Cardinals, because their coaching staff will be focused on the game and not P Diddy's after party.

Mike W: Is that a veiled reference to Mike Tomlin being black?

The Chin: Are you a veiled reference to being an idiot? I'm not in a funeral procession you namby pamby journalpuss. It was a statement of fact.

Mike W: Moving along...what has been your favorite part of Super Bowl week so far?

The Chin: Well Whisenhunt and I had a few Red Dog's over at Whiskey Tango the other night before hooking some tail at this very Hooters. Girl had just won a wing eating contest and was ready to cleanse her pallet with the old Chin.

Mike W: That's a hell of a euphemism.

The Chin: A what? What are you talking about? We went and got sorbet after that.

Mike W: Oh. Sorry. I thought....something else.

The Chin: After I got that wing taste out of her mouth then I gave her the old one, two, now buckle my belt back up women.

Mike W: Well thanks for your time.  

Disgusting.

Hey Steelers kids.  You suck at your instruments.  You sound like crap.  You're ugly.  You're stupid.  And you will grow up to have a crippling drug addiction, no friends, and a family that disowns you.

Oh.  And your lyrics are uninspired too.

Someone just fast track these miserable little runts to the involuntary euthanasia program.  Or a child labor camp.  Now.

The Steelers nightmare has no end.

Bill Cowher's Racist Psychotic Chin Must Be Stopped

Back when Bill Cowher retired there was a little known story about the hiring process that followed his wake. His Chin was a part of the exploratory committee to find their next coach, and while the rest of this committee was all for Mike Tomlin after his sterling interview and vision for the Steelers, the Chin had some strong reservations. Most notably, that Tomlin was black. Not only that, but to quote the Chin, "Not only is he black, but he also wouldn't apologize to me for being black."

This of course though was no shock to the Rooney family. They had held back Cowher's backward thinking Chin on many occasions from inciting some sort of racial eruption. The first time they realized the Chin was an uncontrollable racist was when Himes dropped a crucial pass against the Bengals in one of his first seasons. The Chin struck Himes in the throat (Very commendable by the Chin) while Himes was sitting on the bench and told him to go back to dragging rickshaws (Not so commendable, should stick to the throat striking) like the rest of his family.

The second time it happened Greg Loyd and the Chin came to blows in the locker room after they lost in the Super Bowl. Everyone then knew that the Chin would need some counseling. Dick Lebeau stepped in at that point and begain reading the Chin racially harmonious bedtime stories like the flaming grandfatherly fool that he is.

But apparently the counseling has worn off because now there are reports coming from Tampa that the Chin is on the loose and will stop at nothing until Mike Tomlin learns to respect his betters. It was spotted at Joe's Crab Shack last night, where reports from several witnesses say that the Chin harrassed an old black couple trying to enjoy their meal before making a lewd unprovoked comment to a young black waitress.

On an unrelated but nonetheless intriguing note the Chin was strongly in favor of hiring Whisenhunt as the next HC.