Remember potential candidates: on field performance does not factor into your job security. White hair is a plus though! (take that, youthful, hungry, up and coming prospects)
I am so unqualified to discuss who the Bengals should hire as their next offensive coordinator that someone should take the keyboard away from me right now. But no one is here to do it so I will keep writing and we will all be dumber because of it.
Joe Reedy proposes a nice list of candidates that I will limit myself to selecting from instead of simply considering "Everyone On Earth", even though "Everyone On Earth" is technically qualified to be the OC of the Bengals if the past is any guide. From Joe Reedy's list, there's only one candidate in my mind that makes sense. Norm Chow. Why?
- He has a history with Carson Palmer so the franchise player might ease up a little on his attempts at mutiny (note: this is a reason for Mike Brown to hire him. I, as a lover of chaos and destruction, am anxious to see the Carson thing morph into a giant conflagration that engulfs the entire franchise so I can watch it BURN)
- He's, you know, good. I know this because the greatest blog in the interwebs, EDSBS, tells me so (yes, that link is a post about Gary Crowton, who we'll call the "Bratwurst" of college football, but just read the short post til you get to the punchline. Then read everything else on the site because it's awesome and deserves your full attention).
There's that little wrinkle of him just accepting a job at Utah or some other whitewash of a school located in a barren wasteland, but that's easily solved by offering him like, one order of Montgomery Inn Ribs and 3 Miller Lite vortex bottles (smooth pour!). But seriously, we all complain about how transparent our offense became under Brat. Then what better candidate to hire than Norm Chow, whose name just oozes with misdirection. White? Asian? Both? Neither? I don't know. And neither do you.
Make it happen Mike Brown.
