WhoDeyRevolution

Nuff Ced

• Cedric Benson is so goddamn slow. Leonard, who is a white guy, is as fast as him at this point. Put Bernie Scott in the game. You ever notice that watching Benson trying to turn the corner to the outside is like watching an obstinate mule pull a cart behind it.
• Dunlap and the d line are the only above average thing about this team.
• While Jay Gruden is obviously an upgrade over Bratkowski, that doesn't mean he's the next Sam Wyche. I hear Bratkowski took over playcalling duties for his grandson's pop warner team and now they're only scoring 9 points a game.
• Reggie Nelson continues to BRING THE PHYSICALITY.
• I still think Gresham is being underutilized. Why can't they throw the guy a couple seam routes a game?
• I noticed Livings is still getting playing time. Someone should have been fired long ago for that. I hope they aren't grooming Bolling for the "Mathis Memorial Backup Center Is More Important Than Starting LG" spot on the team.
• Fuck Mike Brown.

Geoff Hoblaw's Hob Blog: We Need To Work On Some Things And Get Better Edition

As Peter King might write:  Complacency, Bengals.  You embody it.

But don't just take fake Peter King's word for it, go get confirmation straight from the source.  That's right, that warped funhouse of misinformation and insanity Bengals.com.  Normally it's dangerous to walk amongst its mirrored hallways of infintely reflected madness, but it's the bye week.  So fuck it.  Let's take a stroll.

Are the Bengals concerned about giving away two of only a small handful of games where they will likely enter as favorites?

We’ll watch the film and everybody is going to see something they could have done better, which in turn makes everybody work harder.

We have heard this literally after every loss since things started downhill in the 2nd half of 2009, and probably earlier.  For example last week Marv said "But that’s where we are, and we’ve got to work at the positives of it and do more things right for a longer period of time."  Easy part of your schedule just ended.  Lockout looms next year.  There is no more longer period of time to wait to improve.

On Palmer's play:

“I’m not going to put the blame on anybody,” [Brat] said.

No worries.  Cause I put it on you.  And Carson.  See how easy it is to blame?  Check out the tag to this column, Brat.  I even try to pin Katrina on you, you ass.

On the awful 3rd & 13 interception:

The route ended up inside further than it should be, so the ball ended up further outside than it should be. When the quarterbacks throw it, they throw it prior to the break. The ball was still right there.

Yes, but prior to the break doesn't mean throwing blind.  TO ran the route inside because, as you will see, THAT'S WHERE ALL THE GODDAMN SPACE WAS!!!

Claws That Will Rip Your Face Off

An Eagle and a Bengal walk into a bar. The bartender says to them, "No shirt, no shoes, no service."  So they walk out. 

Classless Steelers Organization At It Again

As if all this Big Ben and Santonio kerfuffle wasn't enough, it's being reported on the esteemed investigative sports journalism site Sports Pickle, that the menacingly super fabulous Steely McBeam tried to do some iron smelting of his own.  

No need to worry about Aqua Bengal. He only has consentual underwater autoerotic asphyxiation sex.

It's Limas Sweed's Time To Shine!

You best belee dat.  

Good job Steelers. Not only did you practically give away your best receiver for nothing, but now I don't have to say, "Santonio Holmes is dead to me" whenever I'm talking about my Buckeyes. 

Holmgren Seems More Interested In Grooming His Mustache Than Improving His Roster.

As Wyatt pointed out in the comments, the Cleveland Browns signed Eric "Please Tread On Me" Ghiaciuc the other day. Couple that with their inexplicable signing of Jake Delhomme and it seems like the Browns are trying the old 90's Bengals strategy of fielding the worst team possible. Sorry Clevelanders, I guess you can always hang your hat on Josh Cribbs (Please keep underutilizing him). 

As for the Bengals, they''ve inked Kyle Cook and Bobbie Williams, which is much better than Mikey Boy's option B*. I keep waiting for the laughably bad signing or bizarre roster move but it hasn't happened yet. Of course the draft is where Mikey Boy usually burns our hopes down in his trademark dramatic flourish of idiocy, so we're not in the clear yet.

*Option B - Jason Shirley and Jeremy Johnson as G and C. Think about that for a sec.

Something I Didn't Know About Antonio Bryant.

Spencer Hall over at EDSBS had the once in a lifetime opportunity of interviewing Luke Campbell aka Uncle Luke about a number of things football related. I recommend reading the whole article. But if you don't want to click over and be highly entertained, I put what Uncle Luke had to say about Antonio Bryant below:

Antonio Bryant, he's one of the smartest kids to ever play in our program. He won the Academic Achievement award in our program and was speaking three languages in high school.

Now I know you all are going to ask how that is pertinent in any way to whether he'll be able to stretch the field or not next year. Well to answer that, if Uncle Luke talks about you, then you can pretty much do whatever the fuck you want on the field cause you're a huge badass. DADE COUNTY BITCHES!

DL, OL, 3rd string TE, backup K and emergency QB Jason Shirley Injured

Crushing loss.  It took Mike Brown's vision to see all the spots Jason could fill on a roster (and in the side of a building with his car).