IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the eighteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
No matter what you think about the recent federal stimulus bill, there is one request for funds that we can all get behind: Drew Hatfield has asked for $500 million to buy the Bengals.
According to Hatfield, "I will create at least 40 new jobs by hiring a scouting department to have scouts at all NFL games, some college games and hire a General Manager to run the team."
President Obama, listen to Drew Hatfield. This is change we can believe in!
Regular commenter Delta5243 brings a wonderful article to our attention. Dayton Daily News staff writer, Sean McClelland, tells it like it is on Bengals' free agency, laying into both the Browns and Bengals in their free agency "moves". While you should read the entire article, here are some of our favorite parts:
Stop the presses! Running back Cedric Benson has re-signed with the Cincinnati Bengals!
WDR commentary: Love the sarcasm. Sure, it'd be worse if Benson was not signed but let's not pretend he wasn't on a team last year that went 4-11-1 and rejoice in the fact that the 2 year, $7 million dollar contract that retained a player (and no, not that one) is our biggest move in free agency.
While it's unfair at this early date to say the Bengals and/or Browns won't be manifestly improved over last season, let's just say it's good that tickets generally sell themselves in NFL cities, because only a buffoon could like what's been taking place with either of these teams.
WDR commentary: Losing our best Wide Receiver, a starting Offensive Tackle and making no new additions sure makes me glad I adhered to Project Mayhem Task #8 and let my season ticket expire. Julius Norman has also amended his jersey rules so you can continue to comply with PM Task #3. I personally will go with a rotation of (a) no Bengals gear, (b) a white Peter Warrick jersey, or (c) a Housh jersey.
Bengals coach Marvin Lewis tries to rationalize losing his most dependable receiver, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, in free agency while franchising a placekicker.
WDR commentary: That is indeed what we did. Say what you want about RB, FB, C, OT, DT, LB or WR but you can mark a big freaking check mark next to the Kicker spot.
Lewis had one playoff season with the Bengals, but it's almost a distant memory at this point, although we all know where the problem lies with that franchise.
WDR commentary: None needed.
Do I really have to tell you to make sure you read Paul Daugherty's column in the Enquirer? Go ahead and read it. Read it everytime it graces the pages of the Enquirer and shines light on this pathetic organization.
During the season I heard Doc being interviewed by Dan Patrick and he said that he needs the Bengals to start winning because he is running out of jokes for the Bengals losing. Somehow, he keeps banging out stellar columns, Keep it up Comrade.
Dustin Dow from the Enquirer continues to impress, and it's not just because of the feature he wrote on WhoDey Revolution before Christmas. Dow continues to write columns and ask questions, to the ire of Marvin Lewis, that real fans are thinking about. His article on December 28th, titled "Ticket Plight: Renew of Reject?" sheds light on an issue that many fans are facing: Do I continue to blindly throw money at a team that is clearly not prepared to do whatever it takes to win?
As WDR has discussed previously, a confluence of factors mean that Brown is in for a rough offseason, as fans rethink their season tickets and financial support of this team in a struggling economy. Throw in the fact that 2010 could be an uncapped year, the Bengals are in trouble.
This brings us to Rick Brunsman, a suite owner who has an ingenuous idea for how the Bengals can retain their indispensable luxury box owners: make luxury box payments tied to wins. Brunsman wants to pay the Bengals a lower introductory amount and then pay the team a certain amount when they hit specific milestones - a number of wins, a playoff game, etc.
To WDR, this idea is a win-win: season tickets and luxury boxes fail to be a complete sunk cost as fans are forced to pay only when they are satisfied with the product. No longer will fans be blindly throwing money at the team hoping they get lucky and win a few games.
In addition, this idea finally ties the revenue stream for the Bengals directly with the teams performance on the field. Putting in a good effort to try and be competitive will no longer the measuring stick for success. Wins=revenue. You think you would see some big changes if this were the case?
Continue reading "Honorary Member of the Who Dey Revolution: Rick Brunsman" »
WDR has long called TJ Houshmandzadeh "the hardest man in football" because of his attitude and tough play on the field. He plays every Sunday with a fire rarely seen in other Bengals and he doesn't take no jack from any punk CB. And WDR has also been on the record endorsing the Bengals dropping the franchise tag on TJ (and trading Chad for a box of footballs and some ace bandages). And because of the money tied up with Chad, the money that TJ will be
worth on the free agent market and TJ's fearlessness to speak the
truth, it is likely that this Sunday is the last time we will ever see
TJ in a Bengals uniform.
But the reason that TJ is now a proud honorary member of WDR is because he is consistently the only Bengal to speak up about the plight of the Bengals and not do so in a way that is completly self-serving (see above).
According to an article written today by previous WDR member honoree Paul Daugherty, TJ was asked about the significance of winning the Bengals final three games. TJ's response? "'Nothing,' except the satisfaction of knowing hard work had finally paid off."
"Is this team one or two players away from contending?" someone asked.
"Not one or two," Houshmandzadeh said. "Maybe a few, at a few different positions, might be accurate."
God bless you TJ. God bless your deadly rat-tail. Barack Obama's strategy for dealing with Iran is to send TJ Houshmandzadeh (who is part Persian) to speak directly with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. A little TJ smack talk will lead to an immediate surredner.
Just think of we had an owner or a coach (or a GM!) who was actually honest about how far the Bengals are from being a winning team. But instead we will hear about the momentum and how we will be able to draft our way into the Super Bowl. What we need are a few more TJs...
An honorary WDR membership is not something that we take lightly. This distinction is only given to the greatest of Americans who display the qualities of heroes, and those that do their part to further the cause of Who Dey Revolution. That being said, two companies deserve the honor for working with WDR to promote Project Mayhem Tasks #5 and #6.
For Task #5, the signs at the Colts game, Centullo Signs, a Fairfield based company, despite a packed production schedule, was able to turn around 30 professional signs with than 24 hours lead time.
For Task #6, the "98-186-1: Get Pissed" urinal cakes, WDR was honored to have worked with Rob at Revenge Products, Inc. Rob's graphics team designed the cake, and it was actually Rob's girlfriend who had the idea to put "Get Pissed" on the cakes.
Revenge Products specializes in "passive revenge." Founded to serve the ex boyfriend/girlfriend market, they work with customers to develop creative ways to deliver a message - from dartboards to Voodo Dools to shooting targets to urinal cakes.
Email Rob at info@revengeproductsinc.com. If you tell him about WDR, 10% of the purchase is donated to WDR.
Without the help of companies like this, we wouldn't be able to do the things that we do. Please support them.
Out of all of ESPN's football talking heads, John Clayton is by far the most tolerable. In fact, I might say that he provides intelligent, insightful, and level headed analysis. It is only a matter of time before ESPN gives his air time to someone else. But in the meantime, John Clayton in his most recent article on espn.com, answers two questions about the Bengals, something almost unheard of in the national media. During his first answer, Clayton states, "Brown needs a general manager and more people in the scouting department." John Clayton, welcome to WDR, you are welcome anytime. Full Q's and A's, with WDR commentary after the jump.
Jeff Stires of West Chester is a dedicated Bengals fan and loyal member of the Who Dey Revolution. On Sunday, Jeff went to the Bengals-Eagles game and adhered to Project Mayhem Task #3's call for a boycott of concessions of food and merchandise at the game. When interviewed by WLWT Channel 5 after the game, Jeff said: "“I didn't buy anything. WhoDeyRevolution said don't buy a thing, (and) I didn't buy a thing.”
Jeff must know about the second rule of Project Mayhem: Do not ask questions about Project Mayhem.
Word around town is that in addition to being a faithful soldier in Project Mayhem, Jeff slays supermodels, can throw a football 75 yards, volunteers at senior centers, performed the surgery on Carson's knee, can do 500 pullups in a row and was indirectly responsible for Big Ben's "accident."
Jeff Stires, you are a true WDR Hero.
During the magical playoff season of 2005, on October 30th, Brett Farv-re and the Green Bay Packers were marching down the field attempting a comeback. When the Packers got to the 25 yard line, Bengals fan Greg Gall had enough (and had somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 beers). The Bengals were not going to lose that day, not on his watch. Not if he had anything to say about it.
So Mr. Gall took it upon himself to jump over the protective railing, spring 50 yards and "borrow" the ball from Farve. He then eluded PBS security for another 40 or so yards before being decleated in a sick open field tackle.
Rattled, Farve wasn't the same seeing the passion in Mr. Gall's glazed over eyes and the Bengals prevailed.
So, here's to you Greg Gall. We hope you beat the latest trumped up charges the Hamilton County Sherrifs have thrown at you after you "allegedly" beat up a Corvette. What we don't know is - who was driving the Corvette? If we know Greg Gall, it was likely someone in the Rothleisburger family.
Ladies, gentlemen and douche bags, the Revolution is truly growing roots. Stop whatever you are doing and listen to this interview from 2 Angry Guys Yesterday
. In addition to the picture at the left below the jump has a bunch more shots from the heroic actions of these fans.
This doesn't do it justice, but in summary: a group of 8 Bengals fans flies to Dallas for the Bengals game. Prepared for the inevitable loss, they have brought in orange paper bags to wear on their heads. Upon entering the stadium, they head to their seats - which are right in front of Mike Brown. Mike is cold to the sight of the Bengals fans (who are NOT wearing the bags at this point), so the heroes decide that it is the right time to sport the bags. This does not make Mike happy. He has to watch the Bengals ALMOST win with 7 orange bags right in front of him.
But that's not the end of the story from last weekend. At the end of the game, the guys fashion a sign that reads "MIKE BROWN IS A JOKE" and one of the heroes holds it up right in front of Mike's face. That causes Katie Blackburn to lean outside of her box and try and rip it from his hands. Unsuccessful (what else is new), Katie yells "That's not called for. You don't know how hard it is to run an NFL franchise." Some of the other Bengals fans had some colorful responses to Katie's temper tantrum.
These heroic actions are what the Revolution needs to take hold and persuade Mikey to make some changes. So, "Guys Who Wore Bags In Front of Mike Brown in Dallas," we salute you.
So below the jump check out the pictures from the event in all their glory.
17 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.348 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (97-181 in 17 seasons)
15-23 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
6 3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
