WhoDeyRevolution

The Man's Existence Has Made Us All Lesser People

KissingSuzyKolber has an article today about Chris Berman that I don't think goes far enough. Although it is evident that Big Daddy Drew is not a fan, I was hoping for a piece so hate-filled that it would transcend the plane between the internet and the outside world, instantly vaporizing Berman and all his smug shtick.

I've lightly touched on the topic of ESPN/Berman before but let me reiterate, he is the worst personality in sports broadcasting. I'd take an infinite loop of Joe Theismann, Hubie Brown and Tim McCarver calling every game in every sport if it meant I never had to hear him turn a straightforward highlight into a bad pun again. It depresses me to think that people out there find him entertaining.

ESPN deserves a lot of credit for making sports such a cultural phenomenon, but in the last 10-15 years I really think it has made all of us dumber in the way we look at sports. ESPN does not make people think about sports analytically. Like a baby, it makes us consume sports information in tiny little morsels, which affects people's views. Instead of getting a discussion on Chad's merits as a receiver, three talking heads yak it up about Chad's sideline antics. Instead of talking about the Bengals as a team, we get a clip of Marvin jogging onto the field and then Mark Schlereth saying he's on the hot seat. This stuff does not make you more informed, it does the opposite and reinforces black and white opinions that they hammer into their viewers head over and over. ESPN could be entertaining and smart considering how much is at their disposal and yet the media empire decided to make people view sports through a tiny prism where there is no room for grey areas or wide ranging ideas. It's sad. 

This hurts Bengals fans because a lot of us only get our news and form our opinions form what ESPN tells us. They don't talk about how our ownership is a living breathing hex. How our O Coordinator should be selling tacos out of the back of a van. The sorts of things that bother WhoDeyRev to no end. So I guess what I'm trying to say is next time you get the chance, don't watch ESPN or Berman. 

Last Time I Checked Mike Brown Is Still A Doofus.

This may come as a surprise to you all out there, but I'm not satisfied with how things are looking with the Bengals only 4 or so weeks away from training camp. As usual with this squad, the summer could very easily become another quagmire. This isn't WhoDeyRev's definitive preseason outlook. These are just my opinions, and I'm not an expert on anything besides your mom's ladyparts.

The Good

• Carson Palmer - His leadership skills are certainly healthy the way he's been talking lately. Now all we can do is pray Dr. Nick Riviera's holistic healing technique aka, rubbing butter on his elbow, actually holds up. 
• DT Situation - I say that losing Thornton, gaining Tank, and giving a bigger bulk of the snaps to Sims is a formula for good interior line play. 
• LB Situation - Keith Rivers should be playing with a chip on his shoulder. Rey Maualaga is crazy. No one is injured yet, so until that happens they're looking alright.

The Bad

• Mike Brown - Still incompetent. Pay our draft picks and get them into camp. It isn't rocket science. The more practice they have before the season starts, the better the Bengals will be.
• HippopataSmith - The chance of a holdout is holding steady at about 99.9%. So that means the big guy will be ready by approximately 2010. Fantastic.
• Chad - If he doesn't get his timing down with Carson he's going to suck, again.
• Nickel Corner - David Jones BRINGS THE PHYSICALITY, and not much else. Morgan Trent was not a bright spot on a bad Michigan defense last year. Hob said the Bengals are intrigued with him like he's a riddle or something. Let's just say they are a little thin here.
• Bob Bratkowski - Let's hope that when he "threw out the playbook" after last year he actually drew up another one. This man has got Head Coach written all over him. 

   

Who Dey Rev's Best Sources/Supporters Vaporized By Clear Channel

Well today is not a good day for the sports media landscape in Cincy and more importantly for Who Dey Rev. The Enquirer is reporting that Clear Channel has let the other shoe drop by letting C Trent, Doc and Cutler go. As if coverage of Cincy sports team wasn't thread bare enough. Somewhere Mike Brown and Baghdad Hob are laughing maniacally at this good turn of fortune for them.

New WDR T-Shirts Just In Time For Free Agency Failure!

Continue to show your support for the revolution through the medium of t-shirts.  This is our newest product hot off the presses just in time to show your support (and absolute displeasure) to Mike Brown and the Bengals!  Show all of your friends that YOUR TEAM, yes YOUR CINCINNATI BENGALS, has the worst owner in any professional sport!

After a strong push by some of our comrades, the new shirts are branded with the following quotes on the back:

"I am afraid you are stuck with me as the team's chief executive." - Mike Brown

"At least we agree on one thing: that's our fear as well." - WDR

Buy your new WDR gear here.  Viva.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

New Rules for Jersey Etiquette at a Bengals Game

From 2003 to 2008 (the first five years of the Marvin Lewis era in Cincinnati), it was a crime for a fan of Mike Brown's Bengals to wear the jersey of a Bengal player that isn't on the team anymore. Nor was it acceptable to wear personalized jerseys (and be over the age of 13) or to wear college gear. And the Bengals Pro Shop was a must pilgrimage for a Bengals fan at least once of twice during the year.

But now that Mike Brown's Bengals have not hired a GM, have not added any scouts, performed like a big pile of suck winning only four games (all meaningless), was the only team in the bottom ten in the NFL that did not make any coaching or management changes, Marvin Lewis chuckled and battled through every press conference expressing that he doesn't really care if there are fans, and the team used former Pittsburgh Steeler coach Bill Cowher's quote to entice Bengal fans into returning(this would be like having Jim Tressel write Michigan football's season ticket renewal letter); the need to wear the jersey of an active player has gone in reverse.

Let's take a look at the new rules for jersey etiquette at a Bengals game...

Rule #1 - Who's jersey should you wear?

Used to be...

Wearing a jersey of a Bengals that is no longer on the team was grounds for endless ridicule. If your guy left town, your jersey should have been lit of fire (failing a store offering 50% another jersey with a trade in - ah, in a perfect world). Wearing the jersey of an active player or Bengal legend was a must.

Is now...

Wearing a jersey of a Bengals that is no longer on the team is awesome. The older the better, the more random the better. The more tattered the jersey the better. The only true tule is that the random players should be from the Mike Brown era. Gus Frerotte, Neil O'Donnell, Jeff Blake, Carl Pickens, Corey Dillon, Neil Rackers, Darnay Scott, Jon Kitna, Jeff Query, Harold Green, Eric Steinbach, Willie Anderson, Deltha O'Neal, Madieu Williams, Akili Smith, Peter Warrick, Kelley Washington, David Pollack, Odell Thurman, Justin Smith, Kenny Irons, and David Klingler are all in play.

To review...

buying and wearing a brand new Keith Rivers jersey: waste of money; wearing a David Klingler jersey that you've had for years stuck in a drawer: AWESOME! Keep this in mind when Mike Brown let's Touraj Houshmandzadeh (aka The Hardest Man in Bengals history) walk in about two weeks.

Good Ohio Football

I know a lot of people don't give a flying fuck about Buckeye football around these parts of the intertubes, so I will tie this quote in to the Bengals. Its what Beanie Wells said to Terrelle Pryor before their game winning drive last night.

"Beanie said, 'You're in a man's world. This is what it is. So are you gonna be a man or a kid?'" Pryor recalled.

This is exactly what someone needs to tell Levi before this game. Because DeMarcus Ware is going to be bringing it around the corner and we don't need our QB to die in a freak gasoline fight accident/beheading today.

Fuck You Chris Berman

I've been avoiding the media talk for the last 30 hours, but I turned on Monday Night Football and it was halftime and Berman had to make a snide remark about the whole Bengals 0 win thing. Then the next segment he was asked about the Cowboys and he said they would have people open against the Bengals in week 5. He's so cool. I wish I could be a big ball of fat. When Ole Yeller was out of commission someone went out back and shot him in the face. When Berman went out of commission 13 years ago they gave him more spots to make bad jokes and look like a big tan bald bowling ball. If Chris Berman circled the wagons I would nuke the wagons. And then nuke it again to make sure any Berman cockroach offspring didn't survive. He makes me want to not live in a world where espn reigns supreme. If he was an ordinary guy, he would spend most of his time at the local coffee shop while people slowly avoided geting into conversations with him as he tried to talk about the latest heart murmer he had. When will the murmer become a rabble and his heart keels into itself. 

Bengals and Obama Proclaim: "ENOUGH!"

On a historic night in American history, the Bengals finally stood up to their elitist, oil grubbing doubters and pulverized the Colts practice squad 27-7 last night. 

With the win, the Bengals finish with the Brown family's "perfect" record of 2-2 in the pre-season, and are set to face the QB-less Baltimore Ravens on September 7th.

The Bengals don't take the Amtrak home every night like Joe Biden, but their trip back I-74 was a good one after Ryan Fitzpatrick led the offense on two scoring drives for a quick 14-0 lead.

Here are a few quick hit pros and cons from last night's action: