WhoDeyRevolution

Twitter Round Up: The Colts & Creeping Nepotism and What Evan Mathis & Bernard Scott Have in Common

Sooooo...we still post here, seriously.  Even though "Friday Ramblings" refers not to last Friday but the Friday before.  I assure you we still care and are working diligently to try to repackage in fresh and creative ways the same shit we always say.  Since our last post, I am sure there is all sorts of breaking news about the Bengals.  For example, I hear we acquired a return guy who scored a touchdown against us last year as our new return guy.  Aw.  That's cute.  It almost makes me care about what else the Bengals may have done.  But, let's be honest, it's all meaningless.

In fact, let me make my Bengals prediction for the year and get it out of the way:  the Bengals will win about 5 games because we have an easy schedule and Zimmer can field a top 15 defense if you gave him only 1 first round draft pick, a bunch of retreads and like 5 homeless guys.

The Bengals will be pretty, pretty, pretty bad this year and will only become extraordinarily interesting (besides geeking out over things like comparing Gruden to Brat or seeing just how good AJ Green may actually be) if Carson comes back and causes all sorts of unprecedented drama.

Let's just move on.

Twitter.  Twitter, I uniquely have discovered, is rad.  You are doing yourself a terrible disservice if you are not on there following interesting people (like, say, Chris Brown @smartfootball).  Think of it as the greatest newsfeed on Earth for whatever interests you, no matter how obscure, creepy, and/or pointless your interests may be and likely are (#porcupinetree).  Seriously though, Twitter is legit, and unlike Facebook, actually becomes cooler when old people and shit use it.  In fact, most people who use Twitter are between the age of 30-49.  Aren't you glad you read WDR?  You are learning so much right now.

The point of all this is that Evan Mathis is on Twitter.  We have written about him extensively so I won't bore you with details...but here are the Cliff Notes.  Mathis graded out among those who watch and study film as a top guard in the NFL when he played with the Bengals.  This, of course, means the Bengals put him behind Nate Livings on the depth chart.  Livings, of course, graded out (and continues to grade out) as one of the worst starting guards in the NFL among those who watch and study film.  The Bengals cut Mathis.  And now he starts...for the Eagles...the NFL team that probably puts the most money, talent, process and effort into evaluating NFL personnel of any front office in the NFL.

\slits wrists

ANYWAY, apparently Mathis was watching a Hard Knocks compilation and saw the scene where friend of the Brown family, former high school AD, high ranking personnel employee in the Bengals "scouting" department, and human-in-troll-form Jim Lippincott cuts JD Runnels at 530 AM in the sort of classy way only the Bengals can lay claim to.  Things get interesting when Mathis tweets to JD "tell the world about the $20 pity check Lippincott wrote you."

To which the only response is...Holy shit.  Really, Bengals?

Well actually, not true, JD Runnels also had a response, it was:  "my 2.5 year old son's handwriting is better than Lippincotts".  BURNNNN, Lippincott.  Runnels just fucked you up.

Should Mathis continue strong play with the Eagles, I will be happy for him, and again pissed at the Bengals.  Worst of all, there's an analogy for Mathis on our team all over again.  Bernard Scott.  It sure seems like those who again, watch and study film (think Pro Football Focus), think Scott is BY FAR the superior back to Benson.  But it sure seems like we are ready to make Benson the workhorse despite this obvious fact.  I don't have a huge problem with Benson, but it seems to me like he should be featured no more, and probably less, than Scott at this point.  I don't know why we don't seem to recognize talent already on our team.  This seems to be more a coaching than Brown family issue.

But we aren't done yet, the Twitterverse had more gems to offer.  In this case, a foreboding outlook for the Colts franchise.  We here at WDR have pointed out that there is a model to follow from family owned and operated teams, the Colts and Steelers for example.  Well, perhaps we need to make that just the Steelers.  The Colts certainly have a big front office staffed with all the types of people and titles you hope to see when you visit your team's personnel department overview on their website.  However, you will also notice the names Irsay and Polian showing up a little more than should give you comfort.

Then you read this summary of Jim Irsay's tweets and you wonder if perhaps their owner may be slowly going off his rocker in full public view.  When all of sudden we're talking about neurological issues with Manning and Irsay is tweeting things like "got 2 code the darkness...prepare u 4 alternative journey" and responding to Colts bloggers directly saying "random or silly tweets,they r not..ur not hearing what I'm saying..riddle n codes r done4a reason,but it's there as a Colt fan", well, then, you should be terrified.

The Colts without Manning look, in a word, putrid.  No single player matters more to any NFL team.  The Colts have certainly made some savvy personnel moves in the past, but they never seem to have truly built a team with any sort of depth around Manning.  They are completely leveraged to Manning and if he's gone they will fall precipitously.  Fans should be worried their small market team, with creeping nepotistic tendancies, and an owner who tweets in bizaree riddles may be headed for a dark, dark place for a long, long time.

You Are Witnessing The Complete Disintegration of An Organization. And My Sanity.

(before reading this, go read the Gold Star post below and TAKE THE SURVEY PLEASE, it is very important)

This offseason was bad before the last 48 hours.  In sum, Carson Palmer, the franchise and dominant factor in what limited success the Bengals ever had under Mike Brown, threatened to retire if he wasn't traded and forgoe AN AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU WOULD THAT YOU WOULD MURDER YOUR OWN MOTHER TO HAVE FOR YOURSELF.  In typical dipshit fashion, Mike Brown escalates the stand off and CARSON WILL ACTUALLY FUCKING RETIRE.  AT AGE 31.

\composes self

Ahem.

\reads this, then loses it again completely

Then, THEN, as if voluntarily sending the core of the franchise into early retirement and getting no value in return wasn't enough...free agency hits and the Bengals execute their strategy...which literally amounts to Mike Brown walking out into the middle of PBS and taking a HUGE DUMP ON THE FIELD.  Allow me to explain.

Factoring in that Carson's salary is gone from the books, the Bengals are TENS OF MILLIONS of dollars below the alleged salary floor assuming they keep everyone else on the roster in tact.  FLOOR.  NOT CAP.  FLOOR.  In case you don't understand the implications that means:

1. They either spend money signing free agents (including their own) to get to the floor
2. They don't spend anything, remain below the floor, and pay the difference without any DISCRETION WHATSOEVER BASED ON PLAYER'S MARKET VALUES OR MERITS

The only sane decision is BUY SOME FUCKING FREE AGENTS IN POSITIONS OF NEED.  WHICH IS, LIKE, ALMOST EVERY POSITION.  The Bengals notoriously never spend money in free agency (Coles & Bryant don't count, they were just replacing a departed TJ), but now, for once, they had not just the green light, but a BONAFIDE MANDATE TO SPEND SOME DOLLARS.  Awesome, right?  Well here is what the Bengals have done:

For starters, they traded Chad Johnson for about 90% less than they could have when he asked out YEARS ago.  Think what you will about Chad now, but he was the only remaining veteran presence at WR, he was among the only bright spots in the past 20 years, and he was a MEGA TALENT.  More practically, he would have counted for another $6 million towards the floor, which is $6 million of your fan money that Mike Brown couldn't totally WASTE.  But now we are even further under the floor.

So then, you might think, "okay fine, Chad had long departed in spirit and effort anyway and it was time to move on.  Plus, now we have to spend EVEN more so we can definitely make some moves."  The defense is basically the Bengals only hope.  It contains their only proven elite asset:  their cornerbacks.  GREAT, at least we can fucking lock them both down now since we gotta spend the money.  Nope, Jonathan Joseph will now be a Texan FOR NO LOGICAL REASON AT ALL.  GODDAMMIT.

Chad gone.  JJoe gone.  Now we're even further under the floor again.  AND WE JUST CUT ANTAWN ODOM.  WHO SUCKS NOW BUT WHATEVER WE GOT TO SPEND THE MONEY ANYWAY.  AND SIGNING BRIAN LEONARD IS NOT A SOLUTION. THOMAS HOWARD HAS TWO FIRST NAMES.  HE'S NOT TO BE TRUSTED!!!  AND GRADKOWSKI?  DIE!!!!!!!

I expect lunacy out of the Bengals front office.  It's why this site exists.  But even this behavior goes beyond what I ever thought capable.

Everything that was ever good, however limited, about the Bengals is sprinting for the exits.  The man in charge not only remains uninterested in stopping this exodus, but he actually appears proud to continue causing it by standing by his terminally flawed and hypocritical "principles".  More than that, things have spiraled so far out of control that every single decision the front office is making at this point appears to be the one that maximize the destruction of this Bengals team.  Seriously, every choice they have made so far, from refusing to trade Carson and Chad, to releasing players this free agency (Odom), to failing to resign players despite having overwhelming resources (JJoe), to driving out ones who just want a chance (Mathis)...literally every choice inflicts maximum damage to this team.  They have been bad before.  Oh have they been bad.  But this is a new level.  It is so FUCKED and I see no hope to UNFUCK it.

How do the Bengals even meet the floor at this point?  Our own beat reporter, Joe Reedy says this:

The debt ceiling problem is an easier one to solve

And you know what?  HE'S RIGHT.  What will likely end up happening is that we will blow equal money on mediocre replacements for everyone who has left or Mike Brown refuses to trade, saddling the team with shitty contracts not just this season but in the future, for players we will likely want to stab rather than watch.  And you can bet Mike Zimmer, the best thing besides Carson Palmer to ever happen to Bengaldom, will flee for his life as soon as he can.

I can usually predict to some degree what dumb shit the Bengals will do (think bringing back Chris Henry, signing Pacman, letting Steinbach go, etc.) but this is a more virulent form of asshattery.  It's so mindboggling idiotic that it makes me suspicious.  And the only thing I can think of is that the salary floor is not going to really apply to the Bengals somehow.  No, that can't be, right?  Right?  FUCKING RIGHT??!!!  OMG LOOK AT THIS AND BE AFRAID.

So either the Bengals have finally, after two decades, completely disintegrated in terms of their ability to even function as an organization...or they are cynically dumping salary to simply cash in on a revenue-sharing-without-salary-floor BONANZA.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK FOLKS.  THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY.  I AM GOING TO DRINK AN ENTIRE LITER OF THIS RIGHT NOW.  FUCK.

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Important Update:  from Pro Football Talk comes a simple outline of the CBA.  In 2011-2012 teams must spend in aggregate 99% of the salary cap.  So while there is no floor this year, the Bengals would have to make it all up in 2012 by going WAY over the cap if they continue to do nothing.  Verbatim:  "This helps ensure teams that were way under the cap in recent years like the Bengals and Bucs spend more."  The rant above still applies.  <=this entire paragraph likely wrong, will clarify later

Update:  the Bengals have "$49 million of cap room" according to John Clayton.  Also, not only did JJoe walk away, according to Lance the Bengals have waived Morgan Trent and put Pacman on the PUP list.  So now our secondary is Leon Hall, Cris Crocker and Mike Zimmer's icy stare.

In related news, Ray Edwards, a serviceable free agent replacement for Odom, will also not be a Bengal.  He will go Atlanta instead.

\Well, I suppose they might be making a run at Asomugha

\That'd be kind of cool

\Nope.  Bengals are still shit.

Hopefully Evan Mathis Will Write About Mike Brown In His Book

WDR possesses an unhealthy of love of Evan Mathis.  He'd slipped out of my mind recently but thanks to Cincy Jungle he's back on the forefront.  It's also nice to know we're not the only ones with this mancrush.  It makes all those voicemails a lot less awkward.

First, Cincy Jungle reminds us that a quick way to shore up the line would have been to simply keep Mathis and ditch Livings.  Of course, since that makes sense you can rest assured that the Bengals will not let that happen.  And, in fact, it definitely turns out they will not.  I am not quite sure what sort of treatment the Bengals gave Mathis during his time here, but it appears to have been similar to sentencing him to the gimp room based on his scorched earth tweets.  He even went after Mike Brown himself:

I've never met a Bengal fan I didn't like.  I respect you defending your team.  I'm not attacking fans.  Mike Brown?  Might as well.

That's pretty extreme.  Most players who struggle to find starting spots in the NFL are loathe to say such blantantly negative things about their employers lest they hurt their ability to catch on somewhere else in the future.  You could counter that perhaps his willingness to attack Mike Brown means Mathis lacks judgment and has a bad attitude that makes him a high risk player.  I think you would be wrong.  Read his interview on ProFootballFocus.com.  You can see he is thoughtful and intelligent.  He even has plans to write a book.  I probably don't need to tell you this, but not many professional athletes also plan to be published authors.

Whenever Mathis played in games, he graded among the best of all lineman in football.  He also wants to write.  Let's hope he spends more than a few paragraphs on what it's like to be a Bengal.