WhoDeyRevolution

2009 Preseason Optimism Similar to 2008 Preseason Optimism

Entering our 19th season with Mike Brown at the helm of a team that has won zero playoff games and has the worst winning percentage of every team in all four major sports over that span, Bengals fans still are finding ways to convince themselves that this year is different.   As we have stated before, WDR will side with 18 years of history before getting giddy about this years team.  Win some games on the football field and we will be the first guys gushing over the "new-look Bengals."  But until then, all this pre-season empty optimism is just an attempt to sleep better at night after 18 years of futility.

The most recent attempt to be enthusiastic about the season is Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson's optimism about the season.  Carson said that "In my seven years here, this has been as good as its been.” Chad Johnson predicted that the Bengals will make the playoffs.  Commenters on this site and around the internets point to these comments as further proof that this year it will be different.

Do these people not understand that players on every team, in every sport going back through history are excited for their team's chances in the offseason?  What player is going to tell the media that they aren't excited for the season?  When Joe Reedy asks you in the locker room, "Carson, are you excited for the upcoming season?", what do you think the answer is going to be? 

Because I don't have time to document what every player on every team in every sport back through history has said in the offseason, let's just focus on the Bengals comments going into last year. 

In the 2008 offseason, the Bengals were confident they would rebound from a disappointing 7-9 season and turn things around in 2008.  Going into the 2008 season, Carson said: "The locker room we have right now is phenomenal.  There is no selfishness whatsoever and we haven't had that in along time and it's great to be a part of this."  Carson continued: "As good as it's been since I've been here. We're a team. It feels great. I was just talking to Coach (Ken) Zampese about how good it feels. There's not the distraction or whatever the case is. We're a great unit right now. Offense, defense, special teams. Guys are working hard. Nobody is complaining about anything. Guys are trying to get better and that's exactly where we need to be heading into our mandatory camp." 

Offensive line coach Paul Alexander said that Willie Anderson was the best Right Tackle of the decade, 2 months before the team released him.  Carson commented: "Knowing when you've got guys like Dwight Freeney and Michael Strahan, you've got 150 percent confidence [Willie] going to shut them down.  Carson also said of Leon Hall and Jonathan Joseph: "I'd take our two guys over just about any combination in the league."  

Chad Johnson predicted that the team would make the Super Bowl, saying "We're going to Tampa."

Final 2008 Results: 4-11-1.

Notice any similarities betwen 2008 and 2009? 

So before we get all giddy that Carson and Chad are optimistic, remember: THEY ARE ALWAYS OPTIMISTIC GOING INTO THE SEASON. 

Does HippopottaSmith Watch Always Sunny???

So I was watching an episode of the greatest TV show since Seinfeld last night, and saw this part that reminded me of our new friend Andre Smith. 

I thought to myself that our buddy "Bait and" Smith must watch this show. How else would he know how to fool the highly paid professionals that evaluate talent for the Bengals.  It takes a true professional to take on the form of a responsible young man, only to be disguising your true intent to become a greedy slob who only cares about money.*  

*(Disclaimer - I care about money too.)

Some Guy In Dallas Has All The Bengals' Answers

Some guy named Rick Gosselin from the Dallas Morning News dropped this gem of an article on the world yesterday.

The NFL's worst offense got a little worse this offseason when the Cincinnati Bengals lost leading receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh and starting right tackle Stacy Andrews in free agency. The NFL's 24th ranked special teams also took a hit with the departure of return specialist Glenn Holt in free agency.

I don't know how the Bengals are ever going to replace all of Glenn Holt's timely fumbles. Rashaan Salaam available?

So the Bengals need to focus on offense and playmakers in the 2009 draft.

Mike Brown, "Go on...".

A wide-receiver/kick returner combination would be ideal, and Missouri's Jeremy Maclin fits that bill.

I never thought of that. If only the Bengals could get a receiver slash kick returner to improve the O and D lines. Outside the box thinking is what made Rick Gosselin the man he is. This guy probably liked it when Dallas traded for Roy Williams the receiver last year.

He's in range of Cincinnati's first-round pick, No. 6 overall. But like last year, the offensive tackles will go fast in the first round and if the Bengals don't take one at six, there might not be one when they go back on the clock in the second round for the 38th overall pick.

Hey Rick, I think you deleted a sentence there explaining the tackle remark. Or since you wrote this on your blog you didn't feel the need to make any sense. I sometimes just want to put beat poetry up here about Bob Bratkowski's play calling but I would probably try to explain myself first.

Even though the Bengals finished 12th in the NFL in defense -- a tribute to the coaching skills off coordinator Mike Zimmer -- Cincinnati could use some help on that side of the ball as well. The Bengals managed an AFC-low 17 sacks in 2008 and finished 21st in the NFL in run defense. Cincinnati has 11 selections in this draft, including four in the Top 98. They need four starters with those premium selections.

How can you say we should take Maclin when you wrote the Bengals only had 17 sacks last year? Oh, your editor put that last paragraph in. That makes sense.

Offensive Offseason Review

Just when I begin to think we didn't do so bad in free agency this year, I consider this...here's a list of positions that we still need on offense in order for one to reasonably believe that we've improved from last year:

Center (other than Eric Ghiaciuc)

Offensive Tackle (maybe 2)

Fullback

A second Running Back

Sure, fans can argue (1) we can still make a trade, (2) we can still sign some free agents, or (3) we still have the draft.  To quickly respond:

(1) We most likely can't or won't trade anyone besides Chad Johnson, which would immediately create another need at WR unless you are comfortable with Laveranues Coles, Chris Henry, Andre Caldwell and Jerome Simpson next season.  Sure, one (not me) could argue that you draft Michael Crabtree or Jeremy Maclin, trade Chad for a late first round pick or an early second round pick and draft an Offensive Tackle and a Center with the second round pick and whatever pick you get from Chad.  But first of all, if Mike Brown didn't trade Chad last year, why would you assume that he would this year?  I fail to understand how people speculate on that again this offseason.  Secondly, it's a clear violation of the Too Savvy Rule.

(2) Nearly all of the good free agents that would provide an upgrade at the above positions are gone. After we didn't pursue the three best Centers available, Eric Ghiaciuc is among the best Centers left for crying out loud and look where that got Carson last year.  For whatever reason, we keep bringing in decent Fullbacks and then not signing them all while not pursuing some of the most promising available (Leonard Weaver, Justin Griffith, Lorenzo Neal).

(3) We do still have the draft but if we start a rookie at all four of the above positions, could that possibly bode well for next season? What production did we get out of our rookies last year?  The year before? 

Paul Warfield Is Not Amused, I Am Though.

According to Mikey Boy's luminary twittering, Matt Jones, the apple of Mikey's eye, is not only going to be a Bengal, he will also be the next Paul Warfield. Now Mikey apparently knows Matt Jones is white so does that mean he thinks Jones is going to be the Modern Day white Paul Warfield or is he unaware of Warfield being black. 

Maybe Mikey Boy is so over this whole race thing that he doesn't see in terms of color anymore, unless of course that color happens to be green. We'll post more on this as Mikey Boy further enlightens us via twitter.

Remember this?

Remember this?

BWAAAHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

There hasn't been one follow up story to Pro Football Talk's blurb about the Bengals potentially hiring a GM.  While we were skeptical of the rumors immediately, WDR is surprised that there has been ZERO additional discussions about the rumor and wonders how it even started.  PFT is definitely one of the best, if not the best, football blogs around so there must have been a source of some sort.  Our guess is that this was just some sort of internal discussion that yet again got shot down by Mike Brown.  WDR has heard that Troy and Katie Blackburn would like a GM but Mike refuses.  Perhaps it was just along the lines of those conversations. 

Still, it's pretty strange that the only thing relating to this was this one five-sentence post wondering if we were successful.  Well Comrades, the ultimate success has not been achieved but rest assured, we shall press on.

Opening Sentence of Bengals Season Ticket Letter

 

Many Bengals fans got their season ticket renewal letter in the mail this week, and they now face an important decision on whether to pony up for 2009. 

I personally found the opening paragraph entertaining:

Dear Season Ticket Holder:

Let us first wish you a Happy New Year and hope that you had a great holiday season with family and friends.  With so much uncertainty in today's world, the value of friends and family grows stronger. 

Now I appreciate the fact that the Bengals care about the weakened economy and our struggles (just look at the Bengals helping out a cash-strapped county and the citizens that built PBS), but how about talking about winning championships ONCE in this letter?

Bill Cowher's Racist Psychotic Chin Must Be Stopped

Back when Bill Cowher retired there was a little known story about the hiring process that followed his wake. His Chin was a part of the exploratory committee to find their next coach, and while the rest of this committee was all for Mike Tomlin after his sterling interview and vision for the Steelers, the Chin had some strong reservations. Most notably, that Tomlin was black. Not only that, but to quote the Chin, "Not only is he black, but he also wouldn't apologize to me for being black."

This of course though was no shock to the Rooney family. They had held back Cowher's backward thinking Chin on many occasions from inciting some sort of racial eruption. The first time they realized the Chin was an uncontrollable racist was when Himes dropped a crucial pass against the Bengals in one of his first seasons. The Chin struck Himes in the throat (Very commendable by the Chin) while Himes was sitting on the bench and told him to go back to dragging rickshaws (Not so commendable, should stick to the throat striking) like the rest of his family.

The second time it happened Greg Loyd and the Chin came to blows in the locker room after they lost in the Super Bowl. Everyone then knew that the Chin would need some counseling. Dick Lebeau stepped in at that point and begain reading the Chin racially harmonious bedtime stories like the flaming grandfatherly fool that he is.

But apparently the counseling has worn off because now there are reports coming from Tampa that the Chin is on the loose and will stop at nothing until Mike Tomlin learns to respect his betters. It was spotted at Joe's Crab Shack last night, where reports from several witnesses say that the Chin harrassed an old black couple trying to enjoy their meal before making a lewd unprovoked comment to a young black waitress.

On an unrelated but nonetheless intriguing note the Chin was strongly in favor of hiring Whisenhunt as the next HC.

A 12th Ranked Defense

I was listening to Ken (Micro) Broo on Sunday morning on 700WLW and he was discussing the Bengals 12th ranked defense with Jarrett Bell of USA Today.  It got me thinking...what exactly were those stats that got the Bengals ranked 12th overall in defense (purely based on yards allowed). 

Mike Brown's Bengals were very quick to point out in their letter to club seat holders that, along with a healthy Carson Palmer, the 12th ranked defense is key to the great turnaround in 2009.  However, this was after three defensive performances against Washington, Cleveland, and Kansas City...and after the Bengals were firmly locked out of the playoff picture.  Now, I'm not knocking Mike Zimmer at all.  He did a heck of a job this season with a defense that admittedly had spare parts for most of the season.  I'm not making excuses for the guy, but he is the type of coach the Bengals need...never satisfied, a hard ass, and someone who demands excellence.  But, since the Bengals are so excited to point out their revamped defense, let's take a hard look at how this squad did this season. 

(Please keep in mind that under Mike Brown, the Bengals have ONE season...ONE...with more than eight wins.  If history is the best predictor of the future, and the Bengals have not done anything to change what went wrong in 2008, how can they expect us to believe that the Bengals will have 9 or more wins in 2009?)

Here are a few notes on the final defensive stats of the season:

Bengals Stand on Sideline with Hand Up Butt

Are you kidding me?  Curnutte and Hobson are fooling no one.  My 58 year old father wrote an e-mail to Curnutte today informing him that he's fooling no one and calling him for what he is...a megaphone for Mike Brown's propaganda. 

Dustin Dow's question was a great, pressing question that needed to be asked and highlights the important issue that's often plagued us in the past:  Would winning 3 games in a row camoflauge obvious areas of need allowing management to justify that no changes need to be made?  When Hobson and Curnutte simultaneously come out with similar reports suggesting just that, as Comrade Buck highlights, it is not a coincidence.  It looks like winning the last three games may have just done that...allow Bengals management to stay the current course.  My only wonder is if the Bengals are simply looking for a justification to make no changes or they really are that naive.  My guess is the former.