WhoDeyRevolution

I Have a Favorite UFL Team

Have you heard about this UFL thing?  Chunk Bresahan has.  He's the defensive coordinator for the Orlando franchise.  Actually, check that.  Just like the old days, he's the defensive coordinator for my favorite team.  Only the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion is going to end worse than Chunk and me getting back together.

You may be asking, "Why would anyone subject themselves to Chunk's defensive wizardry again if they don't have to?"  My answer?  Look at that roster!  I count no less than five fewer Bengals folks.  Running them down, in order of my least favorite to most favorite:

• TJ Wright - You probably don't remember him, as he was just a practice squad player who never dressed for a game, but he still counts in my book.
• Anthony Schlegel - I think he was one of the two linebackers who finished the game against New England in 2007.  He owes AJ Hawk for what little pro career he had.
• Mike Doss - Wasn't a Bengal for long, but he was a Bengal.  I love him more for shooting guns randomly into the air and a story I heard about him making it rain at a Columbus bar.
• Quincy Wilson - He was the 10th of the Cincinnati Ten.  Probably my favorite arrest of the bunch too.  He was one of 13 arrested when police attempted to clear out a Huntington, WV bar after a wedding.  Amongst the 13?  The bride and groom.  Sounds like the beginning to a bad Matt McConaughey/Sandra Bullock movie.  Till Bail Do Us Part, perhaps?
• Chris Perry - All eyes will be on Chris.  Will he be able to duplicate his 2008 season, which has been described as one of the worst seasons ever by a running back?  That seems like a lot to ask of the man, but if anyone can do it, it's Chris "31 Inches, a Cloud of Dust, and a Fumble" Perry.

It looks like Chunk and the rest of the staff down in Orlando will have almost nothing to work with this year.  That's OK though, I'm used to rooting for a loser. 

Chunk Lands on His Feet

Defensive wizard and all around genius Chunk Bresnahan used to be the defensive coordinator for Mike Brown's Bengals.  He was the innovator of the world famous "Cover None" defense, where cornerbacks would line up 11 yards off of the wide receiver and backpedal immediately at the snap.  Every single one of his blitz packages was copied and spread quickly through the league when they debuted around 1959.

His newest job, according to PFT, is linebackers coach for the Orlando Team to be Named later in the upcoming UFL.  What a horrible nickname!

That's right folks, this man went from running a defense for an alleged NFL team to a position coach for an upstart football league.  This is like being a going from a well-known porn star to being the 2nd lead in a low budget snuff film.  He ran the defense here only one year ago.

Fat Clause in Jeremi Johnson's Contract?

With the news that Jeremi Johnson's knee could not bear his newly added poundage and he is out for the season, WDR has to wonder whether the Bengals should add a fat clause to his contract for next year.  Meaning, if Johnson reports to camp above a certain weight, he is fined for each day he is over.

This could be structured similarly to the clause in Kellen Winslow's contract that forbade him from riding a motorcycle - though I guess it didn't have much of an effect.

If the Bengals decide to bring Johnson back next year, they need to do something to prevent him from coming into camp so overweight that he couldn't even practice with the team until a few days before the third game of the preseason.