WhoDeyRevolution

Bengals Ranked as 118th Best Franchise!

Ignore the misspelling of "Cincinatti" - ESPN the Magazine was pretty spot on in their judgment of the Bengals franchise, ranking them as the 118th best franchise in North America.  There were 122 teams ranked.  The Bengals are the 2nd worst NFL team, as the Lions and their reigning 0-16 record clocked in at a repspectable 119th. 

These rankings were based on their own teams fans voting.  Let's just say if the Bengals were an automaker they would have received a pretty big bailout from the government already.  I guess in the NFL this is called "Revenue Sharing."

They include a quote from a guy who is involved with some undefined anti-Establishment site too.

Joe Reedy breaks down how they came up with the rankings here.

By categories, the Bengals are:

• Affordability – from tickets to apparel to parking to concessions – what it costs to be a fan of a franchise: 99th (sixth-worst in NFL, Redskins worst at 118).

• Coaching – quality of on-field coaching/managing for the franchise: 84 (10th worst in NFL. Bills worst at 118).
  
• Title track – how successful and dedicated the team has been in pursuing and winning championships: 107 (third worst in NFL, Lions worst at 121).
  
• Ownership – overall commitment and effort owner makes to players, coaches and fans, as well as a willingness to spend money and commit to winning:: 113 (second worst in NFL, Raiders worst at 114).
  
• Players – effort given on the court, field or ice, in addition to how likable they are off them: 118 (third worst in NFL, Lions worst at 120).
  
• Fan relations – how the teams and owners interact with the local fan base: 122 (worst in the survey).
  
• Stadium experience – the cleanliness, parking, security and promotions at the home venue: 100 (eighth worst in NFL, Raiders worst at 118).
  
• Bang for the buck – wins over the past three years, measured against the money it receives directly from fans: 106 (sixth worst in NFL, Rams worst at 122).

Here's to the Bengals - not the worst team in the NFL!

I'm Waiting for My Check...

...if Mike Brown held himself to the same standard the owner this German soccer team does, how many games would Bengals fans have to be reimbursed for?

Hat tip to reader Mark Burger.

Even the Good Ones are Bad

As Comrade Buck has already pointed out, Leon Hall was arrested for allegedly driving under the influence a few days ago.  Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't Leon supposed to be the "safe" pick a few years ago? Wasn't he the "good guy", who was supposed to distance the Bengals from their identity as a team full of thieves and miscreants?  I thought that good character was Leon's only redeeming quality that allowed us to overlook the fact that he got toasted in every major collegiate game he played in (and every ensuing game he has played in the NFL.)

While I know that getting a DUI doesn't necessarily translate into being a terrible person, it certainly doesn't help the case of anybody involved (including the fans.)  So my message to you, Leon Hall, is you better keep your nose clean from here on out. Your play has not warranted a contract as good as the one you're in now, so you certainly don't have the wiggle room to get in any more trouble.  

Mike Brown Has Seen The Future And It Is Matt Jones.

According to Mikey on twitter Matt Jones has been released by the Jaguars. We all know how his redeeming rod goes to full staff over, in his words, "the next Paul Warfield," so it will be no surprise when the Bengals sign Jones. I'm starting to wonder if this is life imitating art? Is Mikey Boy trying to reenact Dangerous Minds not in a classroom but with a amateur football organization? He has the scoundrels, Henry and probably Jones. He has the promising kid in class that wants to learn and be all that he can be in Palmer. Except that too often Palmer's best laid plans to learn are sidetracked when the other students like Levi or Ghiaciuc are too lazy and or in a food coma from all the tater tots they had in the cafeteria to help him on the group project. Plus the scoundrels repeatedly steal Palmer's bookbag and light all his homework and textbooks on fire at some point. Then the teacher, Marvin, has to deal with an inept, understaffed, and underqualified administration making decisions about what and who he should be teaching. It would drive me to the bottle too if I were Marvin. Since I haven't seen Dangerous Minds besides the clips in Coolio's music video I'm just going to assume that the classroom never turns it around and the scoundrels end up burning the building down. End of movie.

New WDR T-Shirts Just In Time For Free Agency Failure!

Continue to show your support for the revolution through the medium of t-shirts.  This is our newest product hot off the presses just in time to show your support (and absolute displeasure) to Mike Brown and the Bengals!  Show all of your friends that YOUR TEAM, yes YOUR CINCINNATI BENGALS, has the worst owner in any professional sport!

After a strong push by some of our comrades, the new shirts are branded with the following quotes on the back:

"I am afraid you are stuck with me as the team's chief executive." - Mike Brown

"At least we agree on one thing: that's our fear as well." - WDR

Buy your new WDR gear here.  Viva.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Bengals do it again! Snatching stupidity from obvious intelligence!

The signs that you are a probably Bengals fan are similar to the signs that it is probably time for a new job (a la CareerBuilder)...

CareerBuilder's signs 
1) If you hate going to work every day
2) You're co-workers don't respect you
3) You always wish you were somewhere else
4) You cry constantly
5) You daydream of punching small animals
6) You sit next to "this guy" (annoying laugh, in a speedo, picking his toes, and you wish he were dead)
 
Bengals fan signs
1) If you hate hearing the latest Bengals news every day (because it'll just piss you off)
2) You're team's owners don't respect you
3) You always wish the Bengals did something intelligent
4) You cry constantly
5) You daydream of punching small animals
6) You sit near "this guy" (30-year-old suit, moron, doesn't give interviews, and you wish he were dead)

The Bengals have decided to use their franchise tag on kicker (who can't reach the endzone on kickoffs or hit a field goal over 50 yards) Shayne Graham.

New Rules for Jersey Etiquette at a Bengals Game

From 2003 to 2008 (the first five years of the Marvin Lewis era in Cincinnati), it was a crime for a fan of Mike Brown's Bengals to wear the jersey of a Bengal player that isn't on the team anymore. Nor was it acceptable to wear personalized jerseys (and be over the age of 13) or to wear college gear. And the Bengals Pro Shop was a must pilgrimage for a Bengals fan at least once of twice during the year.

But now that Mike Brown's Bengals have not hired a GM, have not added any scouts, performed like a big pile of suck winning only four games (all meaningless), was the only team in the bottom ten in the NFL that did not make any coaching or management changes, Marvin Lewis chuckled and battled through every press conference expressing that he doesn't really care if there are fans, and the team used former Pittsburgh Steeler coach Bill Cowher's quote to entice Bengal fans into returning(this would be like having Jim Tressel write Michigan football's season ticket renewal letter); the need to wear the jersey of an active player has gone in reverse.

Let's take a look at the new rules for jersey etiquette at a Bengals game...

Rule #1 - Who's jersey should you wear?

Used to be...

Wearing a jersey of a Bengals that is no longer on the team was grounds for endless ridicule. If your guy left town, your jersey should have been lit of fire (failing a store offering 50% another jersey with a trade in - ah, in a perfect world). Wearing the jersey of an active player or Bengal legend was a must.

Is now...

Wearing a jersey of a Bengals that is no longer on the team is awesome. The older the better, the more random the better. The more tattered the jersey the better. The only true tule is that the random players should be from the Mike Brown era. Gus Frerotte, Neil O'Donnell, Jeff Blake, Carl Pickens, Corey Dillon, Neil Rackers, Darnay Scott, Jon Kitna, Jeff Query, Harold Green, Eric Steinbach, Willie Anderson, Deltha O'Neal, Madieu Williams, Akili Smith, Peter Warrick, Kelley Washington, David Pollack, Odell Thurman, Justin Smith, Kenny Irons, and David Klingler are all in play.

To review...

buying and wearing a brand new Keith Rivers jersey: waste of money; wearing a David Klingler jersey that you've had for years stuck in a drawer: AWESOME! Keep this in mind when Mike Brown let's Touraj Houshmandzadeh (aka The Hardest Man in Bengals history) walk in about two weeks.

Bagdad Hob Strikes Again / TJ Sounds Like a Douch in Today's Breaking Bengals.com News

Is it just me, or are you sick and tired of hearing about the 2005 playoff game?  Baghdad Hob once again makes mention of this game, and says "many say the Bengals have never been right since that day". What really pisses me off about this statement is that it is true.  The Bengals are by far the least resilient team in the NFL, and we are playing in a division with the most resilient team in the NFL.  The Steelers have the ability to overcome the worst of setbacks, sometimes multiple times in one game.  For Christ's sake, Big Ben almost got killed on a motorcycle, and have been to the playoffs twice,a nd are back in the Super Bowl since then.

Another thing that really bothered me was Housh's desperate attempt to claim that our 2005 team was as good as the 2008 Cardinals...  Get a life TJ.  Move past 2005.  You sound like Uncle Rico talking about his glory days when he "could've made State"...  

Before I digress too far, what I am trying to say is that the Bengals are not going to win with their current demeanor.  Where does this demeanor stem from you ask? Right at the top.  The Bengals psychology starts with Mikey, who doesn't demand anything from his coaches, who don't demand the best from their players, and it shows on the field that this is an organization of underachievers.  As soon as 3.5 ypc and 2 rushing TDs becomes acceptable, you know you've hit rock bottom.  

What you can do to help ignite change is to DEMAND the most out of Mike Brown.  Don't renew those season tickets.  Don't spend your hard earned dollars on jerseys and stadium beer.  Hit him where is counts, and soon enough he will see the light.  

Surveys That Make Me Feel Like Someone Cares When They Really Don't

Allright folks, here's your chance to tell the Bengals how you feel in this fan survey.

Okay, okay, it's really telling the Enquirer how you feel about the Bengals and then hoping the Bengals read the Enquirer.  So, let me rephrase:  indirectly tell the Bengals how you feel in this fan survey.

It may not be much, but it's something.  I used the word "nepotism" 15 times in one paragraph.  See if you can beat me.

Hat tip to reader Gary Clendenin.

Cardinals 2 - Bengals 0

For those of you counting, the Arizona Cardinals playoff win last weekend gives them 2 playoff wins in the last 18 seasons.  Do we need to remind you how many playoff wins the Bengals have over the same stretch? The freaking Arizona Cardinals!  Denny "Crown Their Asses" Green! Steve Beuerlein!  Where Garrison Hearst played before the Bengals signed him!  The Arizona Cardinals!

As they say, a broken clock is right twice a day.  Well, the Bengals seem to be the exception to that rule. 

Thanks Cardinals.  Thanks a lot.  Thanks for reminding Bengals fans how pathetic we are.  Why don't you kick my dog while you're at it?