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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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January 06, 2012


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Even though the Texans have the advantage and will most likely win, I think this game is too close to call. I couldn't put any money on it b/c it is too unpredictable.

Which Bengals team are we going to see: the one who shits the bed on the road (anytime they go to Oakland); or the team that went into Seattle (a very loud place with a solid defense) and controlled 3/4 of the game?

I think a pick-6, a fumble recovery in scoring position or a big special teams play will make the difference in this game. I have no basis for this, other than like blesterov, I think this game is too close to call. Who Dey.

I still have time to get to the casino and put my $20 on the Bengals and the under... I won't, but I COULD. Who Dey. We're already eight games over where I thought we'd be, so life is good. Let's hope Mikey Boy doesn't screw us up in the offseason.

Logic says Texans win. We know what kind of game-day big-game coach Mediocre Marvin is (not so good). But we don't know about Kubiak, the Texans have never been there before, let alone actually won a playoff game. Winning today would put Gary "Kubiaverage"'s record at exactly .500. Another town that has put up with subpar product for a pretty long time.

Shout out to the Houston Revolution:
Even though they wanted The Chin. Heh.

Couple thoughts:

-Anyone else jealous that the most erudite and x's and o's-oriented Bengals fan couldn't give an analysis like that of our team's strengths and gameplans, because it's hard to tell from week-to-week what those strengths are or if they even have a gameplan?

-Excellent analysis by Ms. Stradley; however, Reliant Stadium, no matter how excited they are, is not "the loudest stadium in the league when things are going well". That'd be Qwest Field, hands down. They generate seismic waves, for crying out loud! However, in a post that's designed to be homeristic (and I mean that in the best way possible), that that statement is the only thing I can really take umbrage with really speaks volumes for Ms. Stradley's reason and analysis. I know literally hundreds of Steelers fans, and I don't know a single one of them who would be able to write such a level-headed analysis of their team. Current Facebook predictions I've seen today for tomorrow's game against Denver range from 21-3 to 38-0, all (obviously) in favor of Pittsburgh. I've ended a couple of homerfests, however, by mentioning that Denver's defense will get after Big Rapey like San Fran's did, and that that game didn't end quite so positively for Pittsburgh.

Also, to guttersnake - excellent call on a pick-six being the turning point of the game. JJ Watt ended the Bengals season, and I knew that before they even came out for the second half.

All I can say is that not only did they get beat (choked even) but now they may lose two coaches. Got to hand it to Zimmer, he's had offers for a few years now and he didn't heed that ol' military asiom "Never turn down a job assignment!" and he's still got offers. Maybe now is the time for him to get the hell out of this hell-hole know as CINCINNATI and MBMB and the Cincinnati Bengals. Makes me wonder if John Gruden didn't tell his brother to get the fuck out while the gettin' good?

Just remember that anyone getting a chance to get out of Cincinnati, ought to take it. haha!

La lógica dice tejanos ganar. Sabemos qué tipo de caza mayor el día del partido el entrenador Marvin es mediocre (no tan bueno). Pero no sabemos acerca de Kubiak, los Texans nunca han estado allí antes, y mucho menos ganar un partido de playoffs. Ganar hoy sería dejar constancia Gary "Kubiaverage" 's exactamente en 0.500. Otra ciudad que ha puesto con el producto mediocre durante un tiempo bastante largo.

I've had to memorize all the northwoods-inspired names for all the beats.

Pretty good post…
I just stumbled upon your website and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.

Plus I always had a homeroom and all the paperwork that entails.

Tutto quello che posso dire è che non solo hanno battuti (soffocato anche), ma ora rischia di perdere due allenatori. Devo consegnare a Zimmer, ha avuto offerte per alcuni anni ormai e non ha voluto seguire che ol 'asiom militare "Mai rifiutare un incarico di lavoro!" e ha ancora avuto offerte. Forse è giunto il momento per lui per ottenere l'inferno fuori di questo buco infernale conosciamo come Cincinnati e MBMB e la Cincinnati Bengals.

ou certe conveniens aliqua opiniones et views. Tua blog praebet nova at subject.Have te cogitari de introducens quaedam socialis fermentum buttons ad haec blogs. At google.I vere appreciate vasa in tua site. Es faciens denique officium! Gratias multum. :)

Nice to be here and see your post!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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