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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Bengals BOGO Fever | Main | Week 17 Battle Lines Are Drawn: Bengals v Ravens and Bengals Fans v Mike Brown »

December 28, 2011


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Now Jim is free to pursue his lifelong dream - bankrupting every single all-you-cal-eat restaurant in the country. Hasta la vista Jimmy. Don't let the door hit you in the ass, it'll probably break...

Just look at that FUPA!!! Wow.

Well, it's an opportunity anyway. Let's see how Mike decides to fill that void - and I mean "void" in every sense of the word.

The Bengals just achieved their 14th winning season in the 44 years of their history. Six of those wins were in the first 10 years of the Franchise, all but one year under Paul Brown. Is any team in the NFL worse over that time?

They have finished 1st in their division 7 times, a .159 percentage. Is any other NFL team worse?

They have been a wildcard team a total of one time (1975). Did you know that?

In those years they have made the playoffs nine times (including 1982 and its different rules) and in six of those years, won no playoff games.

Their two AFC Championships are to their credit, and thank God we have them. It's all we have for 43 years of following this team. It is also the only AFC championship games they have ever made it to.

Since 1990, the only team of any note that Mike has been able to build was the 2005 team, and he immediately began disassembling that team as soon as contracts of the best players ran out. Just as he always does.

Compare the players from 2009 and this year and tell me if they are actually building anything. I still see pretty substantial turnover.

The point is long time Bengal fans are tired of this incompetence. I have followed this team since the beginning. I know I would love to see the Bengals win a Superbowl in my lifetime. With Mike running the show, we have no chance.

Another stat. The Bengals have only once had three winning seasons in a row. It was 1975-1977. They had two winning seasons in a row only two other times. Is any team worse?

It will probably take three winnning seasons in a row before I believe this team is finally on track. I had Bengals season tickets for 20 years, but I will not go back until Mike does what is required to field a TRULY competitive team. There is no real sign he is doing anything different from 1991 to the present.

Hiring a big fat brown-noser from a local High School to run your NFL operations? I guess that makes sense to a multi-millionaire who thinks Denny's is Gourmet food.

Does Mikey Boy even know how to REACH someone on the phone who is NFL-qualified? Not to hire him. Just to hear what someone like that sounds like.

To me Mike Brown is an example of the worst kind of slime: born on 3rd base, hasn't crossed home plate, but hires fat ass-kissers to go aroung telling everyone he hit a triple.

So if the Ravens stomp the Bengals into the turf this weekend, are the Koolaid drinkers *still* going to say this season was "building something"? My guess is yes.

Is Mike Brown going to hire another incompetent, non-NFL-qualified bozo to run his football operations? Or maybe promote one of the Brown family to the position? Or perhaps he doesn't think he needs a director of football operations because they are so competitive already? The possibilities for screwing this up are endless.

So if the Bengals beat the Ravens this weekend, then follow it up by beating the Texans, a team they are capable of beating, will the doomsayers *still* say this season was "business as usual"? My guess is yes.

Let the game actually happen before you write the obituary on the season, for crying out loud. I don't think the Bengals will win this weekend, but that's why they play the games, right? The last time the Ravens were the clear-cut best team in the AFC North and the Bengals didn't have a chance against them was in 2006, and that Thursday night game when they met for the second time turned out differently than many expected.

Even if they don't win, they still finished with three times as many wins as even the most optimistic Bengals fans on this site projected them to, and both of their top two rookies will play in the Pro Bowl. That's something no one predicted, and it's also about as far out of the norm for this team as you can get.

I honestly believe that #DNOPBS is the type of person who would find a bag of fifties laying on the ground and complain because they weren't hundreds. Personally, I'm not satisfied with a 9-7 non-playoff season, but I'm overjoyed to have a team that far exceeded my expectations going into this season. If you can't understand how those two feelings aren't mutually exclusive, then perhaps you need to re-evaluate your worldview, because you're looking at things entirely too simplistically.

@ Wyatt. My father used to use the expression, "he's the sort of person who could be swimming in a sea of naked women and complain about the smell." ...anyway, I'm with you on this one again. Let this WHOLE thing play out. By that, I'm talking about more than just the game this weekend, which you highlighted. Let the Lippincott thing play out. Yes, it could be screwed up a million ways, but I look at it like this - he was fired, so that means something else is coming. Let it play out. Let The Draft play out. I'm certain we'll draft a guard (Cordy Glenn is my guess), but we have to wait and see. Let Free Agency play out. We've got a bunch of guys who need to re-up this off-season. How that gets handled is another indicator on overall forward momentum. And lastly, let next season play out. It is going to be harder and, to be completely far, the real test of this squad. Many of us have said this before, but it bears repeating: this year was supposed to be a suck-ass painful building year.

Like Wyatt and may others, no one is saying to throw money at MFB while this is going on, and if all this falls flat, then the revolution goes back to status quo. What we are saying is that something seems to be afoot, and as fans, we are watching with significant, although financially-devoid, interest. The real challenge to the revolution will be if they actually win a play-off game...which, while not probable at this point, is not a forgone conclusion either. Personally, I can't wait for Sunday!

In the spirit of @Bob F:

Last time this team won a last-game-of-the-year win-and-you're-in lose-and-you're-out game: Dec 30, 1990 vs the then 3-12 Cleveland Browns who had the then-worst defense by points allowed in the NFL, and the 27th (of 28) ranked offense. The Bengals were outgained in the game but won 21-14.

Ah, the glory years.

Last time the Bengals won a wild-card tie-breaking procedure: That would be NEVER. It has never happened. The one wild-card year (1975) the Bengals finished 11-3 which was tied for second best record in the conference.

@guttersnake, he wasn't fired. He's leaving on his own terms, and being celebrated on the way out. Did you not read the post? "...due to a retirement and not a firing, to fanfare and not regret."

@Wyatt, this site is about sustained success, not flash in the pan decency against mediocre scheduling. Let this year play out, and next. We made the playoffs in 2005 and 2009, and everyone thought we'd turned a corner then. When we're competitive on a consistent basis, and not just in a fluke year, then I'll think we've turned a corner. Right now, I'm looking at a team with a lot of promise that hasn't beaten anyone good all year.

I like them, and it's been an exciting year, but I know this owner can ruin this. I know because I've seen him ruin much better teams.

Other win-and-you're-(almost)-in games:
(* = wasn't really win-and-you're-in but was close)

2006: Lost at Pitt in OT (last three games we're all win-and-you're-in as it turned out)
1989: Lost at Minn on Monday Night Football
1986*: Crushed Jets, lost wild card tiebreaker anyway (finished 10-6)
1985*: Lost at NE (lost last two, needed both to win division due to losing tie-breaker to Cleveland)
1977: Lost at Oilers, could have finished 9-5 and won division
1976*: Crushed Jets, lost wild card tiebreaker anyway (finished 10-4)

Interesting tidbits of history... from what I can tell this franchise has only ever won two last-game-of-the season games that were required to make the playoffs.

1990: Beat the 3-12 Cleveland Browns, one of the worst teams in the NFL
1970: Beat the 2-11 Boston Patriots, one of the worst teams in the NFL

(I am pretty sure they would have qualified in 1975 had they not defeated the Chargers on the last day, but even if that was needed the Chargers were 2-11 and one of the worst teams in the NFL. That is because against common opponents the Dolphins of 1975 had a worse record)

So to the best of my knowledge IF the Bengals do beat the Baltimore Ravens this weekend, it will be the first time in franchise history that they would have defeated a quality opponent on the last day of the regular season to capture a playoff spot.

@ Dan R. You're correct, the oft-Hobspun website you cited did note the passing of Lippincott as 'leaving on his own terms'. Perhaps this is the case. I'm merely suggesting that 'leaving on his own terms' is one in the same as forced retirement, i.e. firing. As I mentioned in the previous thread, I find it incredibly odd that MFB ponies up $200M to buy out the team from minority share-holders and then within the week Lippincott up and says, I need to get back to high school coaching. WTF? Maybe they are unconnected... maybe not. The real test of the matter is going to be in how Lippincott is replaced. With a GM? With additional scouts? With some ass-clown friend of the family? With no one; MFB just absorbs the paycheck? Like I said above; let it play out. The indicators will more obvious in the post-season.

Guttersnake: I really doubt he'd be forced out for two reasons

1-I have a hard time believing they'd get rid of him now of all times, coming off a good draft and a successful season

2-He'll still be involved in preparing for the 2012 draft; if Brown really wanted his voice out of the decision making process, they'd fully take it out

@guttersnake writes:

"The real test of the matter is going to be in how Lippincott is replaced. With a GM? With additional scouts? With some ass-clown friend of the family? With no one; MFB just absorbs the paycheck? Like I said above; let it play out."

We don't really have a choice, do we?
I was getting in my early bet on either
(a) Ass-clown friend of the family, or
(b) Nobody.

Is this another sign that Black Jesus has arisen or just mere coincidence?

@ Competitiveness: I completely concede that you may be very right here. But as a flip-side, I also appreciate MFB being in a difficult position, which makes this week very interesting to me. While he is obviously not of a football mind, he isn't entirely business stupid. Further, by now he knows why people aren't coming to the stadium, and like the Carson situation, the only reason he's not simply doing what the people are asking of him is purely pig-headed pride. By edging Lippincott now, he hopes to buys credibility with more of the Bengals' fanbase than we may care to admit, allowing the appeal of potential change to buy him time during the off-season. By being a lame duck, Lippincott's work on the 2012 Draft will attempt to be Hobspun into a MFB Master Plan...with mild credit going to Marv to appease the masses. Then, MFB will hire a bargain barrel replacement to show the fan-base that change is happening...just in time to lure in some season ticket holder schmucks. That's my bet, #DNOPBS.

Mike Brown doesn't want Lippincott out of the decision making process for the Draft... he just wants Lippincott's ability to take credit for it out... because more than anything, Mike Brown needs to look like he's doing the right thing in order to remain relevant. Like always, he'll worry about the team's long term plans later.... like next season right before free agency ends.

TO BE CLEAR: I'm not advocating these actions. I'm just trying to think like MFB.

@ Wyatt, I wish I had your optimism, but as I stated before: the Bengals will lose this game. I took the Ravens giving up the two points. Either Vegas knows something or that is a ridiculous spread. I also took the Chiefs straight up over the Broncos since it is good odds for the upset.

No Leon Hall and miscommunications in the secondary the past couple of weeks = the Bengals will not be able to cover Smith again. Dunlap back in the lineup helps, but their OL should be able to control our pass rush. If they had Leon Hall, this game would be to close to call. But our OL (specifically LG) cannot handle their pressures (look for blitzes coming over Livings again this week) nor will they be able to provide lanes for Benson on a consistent basis. With Caldwell out at the slot, there is a lot of pressure on Gresham, Greene, and Simpson to produce. I don't think they are good enough yet to handle all of these deficiencies and pressure. Maybe next year

@blesterov: Again, I clearly stated that I don't believe the Bengals will win this game. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to watch it on Sunday Ticket and hope Bad Flacco shows up. An interesting note I saw on NFL Network yesterday - in all the stats that matter, Andy Dalton has been a better quarterback than Joe Flacco this year. The only category where Flacco has the advantage is in wins, and that could end up being only a +1 if the Bengals win this game (Not sure if this will work or if it will just take you to the player comparison page, but here goes: And, as a Torrey Smith fantasy owner, I can tell you that he's a feast or famine type of player - one week he'll have 43 points, and then the next three he'll have five or less. This could very well be one of those weeks where he does absolutely nothing, especially if Geno and Dunlap can generate enough pressure on Flacco that Zimmer doesn't have to blitz his face off.

Wyatt, sorry I skipped the "n't" at the end of "do" above so I read your comment completely incorrect. I also owned Smith this year, and you are correct about being a zero or a hero. Luckily I was able to guess correctly most of the time his performance. If our league were still playing this week, he would be starting in my lineup. The defense has been unable to stop anyone in the passing game since Hall went down. It was even worse when Dunlap was out. We saw what having Dunlap in the lineup does to a QB performance, the pressure forces them into mistakes. Unfortunately Zimmer was out foxed in the 4th Q and the defense let them back in the game while the offense did jack shit to help them out.

The only way they win this game is if the guys in the coaches box call a perfect game this weekend and the players can stay focused by not letting the pressure get to them. Since we have not experienced two great consecutive halves in the same game this season, I don't think they have a chance. The Ravens have more experience in dealing with high pressure games than Marvin's team, and that could be the difference since the jitters lead to mistakes. I will still watch the game b/c it is going to be interesting to watch how this team responds to this situation, and as a fan I still cheer for the players.

I agree that Dalton is the better QB, which is why he will be playing in the Pro Bowl in a few weeks. He also has more upside than Flacco at this point. But the Ravens D has the ability to make a rookie QB look like a rookie. This game will be very telling of Dalton's poise and development this season. Regardless of what happens I am really looking forward to watching this kid play in the coming years.

Now back to the story of the Gunth, I find this really odd timing for him to step down. Either the man has a tumor in that FUPA he carries around, or something else is taking place. Typical Bengals, the announcement just don't make fucking sense and you need a code breaker to decipher what the hell is going on. At least they didn't use the code of "wants to spend more time with the family" b/c that never has a good story behind it.

In the "I'm smoking Orange Flavored Crack" department: the way the story about Mr FUPA makes sense would be if in the locker room before Sunday's game Marvin Lewis tells his players that this season is his last season as head coach, because next year he's going to be the Bengals new director of football operations. So they need to go out there and win one for the Marvin.

He-e-ey, nice FUPA baby !

Yep, il est déjà à l'écoute et a un dossier bien. C'est pas cher et il est bon de posséder un.

Nice to be here and see your post!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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