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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 07, 2011

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I was thinking the same thing about Isray. If you want to let your fans know Peyton will miss time just say it, don't go into a cryptic Ultimate Warrior promo.

This post does nothing to further the ousting of Mike Brown. Stay focused.

Man, i was waiting for this type of article. This will show MFB what we are made of here!

I see one of the major problems with this team making any progress this year being quality depth. One starting offensive tackle injury puts Dennis Roland back on the field. If Hall were injured, who's next? If Maualuga were injured, I guess they would call Dhani. Gresham gets injured, then who? I don't see how Dalton doesn't get hurt, and I'm confident that the defender that inflicts the injury will come through a guy named Livings or Roland. Dunlap seems a bit fragile also.

The secondary is still thin. Injuries happen on all teams. The Packers sustained major setbacks due to injury and won a Superbowl. It seems that when injuries hit the Bengals they aren't prepared to replace the injured player with something close to equivalent. After watching preseason, I would have to say that the steelers will dress 3 quarterbacks that are better than any one of ours.

SWB is probably right about the 5 wins, however one or two injuries to key people will make 5 tough in my opinion.

Nice to see you're still alive here. I hate it when you guys go AWOL and I'm left with nothing but Reedy and the rose colored glasses that is Cincy Jungle.

I love Cincy Jungle just because they are so ridiculous. Reading the comments there is akin to reading Steelers or Ravens fans on ANY website. It actually balances out the charming doomsayers around here. Of course, I don't take any of Cincy Jungle's opinion pieces serioiusly, but in that respect, it's like reading most of the comments around here.

Of course, this comment does nothing to further the ousting of Mike Brown, so I'd better stay focused.

So Wyatt, what is your projection in wins for the Mighty Bungles? 6??? 7??? 8??? Yea, I say, 8 will make you really, really, HAPPY along with the SHEEP! Enjoy the Circus!

Honestly? I'll be surprised if they win three games. Just because I'm able to pick out positives doesn't mean that I'm blinded to the fact that this team is flat-out awful.

And as for the sheep comparison? Aren't you just as bad, if not worse, because while the sheep blindly love the Bengals and derive enjoyment out of whatever they do, you blindly hate them and are miserable no matter what they do. At least they're blissfully ignorant of the way things are, which allows them to continue to enjoy something that they love. You're willfully ignorant of anything that would make this team even remotely enjoyable, so I ask you again - why are you still a fan?

1 - Fan (noun) : an enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or a performing art) usually as a spectator --- Merriam & Webster Online

2 - "WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, IN OUR FERVENT DEDICATION to the Cincinnati Bengals and FANATICAL DESIRE to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of FANS to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players..."

Yeeaaaa, I'm with Wyatt on this one. Some of you guys are turning into Tea Party Bengal Fans where if in every post your not frothingly spouting profanities about Mike Brown and the front office then your sheep in tiger stripes. While I agree that bashing the Browns is as intergral to this site as the color orange, there are other levels of the manifesto that we are ignoring - like being diehard fans. If you've lost that, then you need to stop posting here because you're mucking the waters between "fervent dedication" and "fanatical desire" and just being a whiner and a hater. Ripping those of us who want to discuss our teams players critically (that means postives and negatives) doesn't accomplish anything; rather it turns this site into some sad SNL sketch that will only remains funny until the fourth season of same lines reharshed for the eleven-hundredth time.

This site earns credibility by being the historians and think tankers that Mike Brown can't be. Occasionally that means talk about what's going on good... and partly, that is so we can say "I told you so" later. And partly its so we can be fans and enjoy the few rays of sunshine we get.

So to those of you whom this applies to: I GET IT - YOU REALLY HATE MIKE BROWN! News Flash; so does everyone here. So does everyone in Cincinnati. So does everyone on Sports Center. So does more of America that voted for Obama.

Now here is the second peice of breaking news: the season starts in four fucking days against a division rivial that we can beat! Ummmmm... anyone feel like talking about that?

I'm still waiting for Carson to pull his own version of Project Mayhem on Mikey Boy by actually reporting to the team....like on Friday.

@guttersnake, what Manifesto are you reading? LOL The only one I see to the left only talks about MFB and his CLAN. I think you and Wyatt are on the wrong site. There is gobengals.com and bengals.com that you can venture and divulge partaking in your Kool Aid Talk. I do not recall talking about how this team will be good? The manifesto you speak of is below the paragraph you copy and pasted. LOL MFB is not meeting any of those Demands. BTW, you do not run this site and you are not in a position to tell anyone to post here or not and neither am I. So do us all a favor and take your High Horse elsewhere to where the kool aid trough is awaiting you!

TigerJ@w: Nice to see reading comprehension is still not one of your strong suits. The manifesto, in its entirety, begins with "IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility" and ends with "Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?" EVERYTHING in between those two phrases are a part of the manifesto, including the paragraph guttersnake was referring to.

Also, ironically funny that you call guttersnake out on not being in a position to tell anyone whether or not they can/should post here and yet do the same thing to him twice in the same post.

It's like I said, Wyatt; Tea Party Bengals Fans. The old mantra of 'if you don't agree that Mike Brown is the only thing we should talk about, then you and Hob are gay lovers' is just more and more common... and sad because it simplifies the matter.

Here is my challenge to Tiger J@w: Discounting the front office - what are the top three things that the Bengals should have fixed going into the first game that they didn't. Show us you still pay attention to the team enough to actually have an opinion on the roster strong enough to stand up to the fan base of this site.

Hello. excellent job. I did not imagine this. This is a great story. Thanks!

"For the boys...East Coast Dominicans" A great group (a college friend of mine is one of them, teaching at Providence College in RI) "For the girls..." Franciscan Sisters of the Martyr St. George, (out of Alton, Il. - a mouthful, but a terrific younger community) or the Nashville or Ann Arbor Dominicans (I seem to remember that a sister of the Fathers Hopkins, LC, is a member of the Nashville community - I think she was vocations directress for awhile - interesting that she joined there, huh?) There are good alternatives, offering REAL religious life out there!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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