Hey folks - apologies for the light posting.
\one remaining reader says "no worries"
A combination of too much work and too little real news to discuss has left us with nothing to say that hasn't already been said. Post labor resolution hopefully things will kick into full gear. Of course, the owners are giant dicks so that will probaby be in November.
The main narrative this offseason for the Bengals continues to be the transition from the era of Carson Palmer to the era of who-the-fuck-knows (Not Jon Gruden-Dalton-Green-Pacman Era?). Most people appear to be quite pleased that this is happening. Why? Well, with all things Bengals, when you ignore the forest and focus on the trees, it becomes more fun to discuss and you can fool yourself into thinking the Bengals are a real NFL franchise. Reality for Bengals fans is harsh...ignoring it is the easiest and most widespread strategy used to cope.
But WDR exists to make sure that you have no fun when discussing the Bengals, and I'm here to tell you to cut that shit out right now. Might I remind you the Bengals are only transitioning away from this era because our franchise QB forced their hand and is quitting in the middle of his prime. In three years, no matter how awesome it would be if Dalton dyes black stripes into his orange hair, you will be wishing Carson had stayed and you hadn't said all those nasty things about him.
Other thoughts on the few threads of interest during the bleak and desolate offseason:
- Bengals need to make a real effort to sign Jonathan Joseph; hoping to replace him cheaply with Pacman amounts to another gross insult to their loyal fans (there's been so many we lost count over a decade ago). I understand at a certain price no one is worth it but I think JJ's market value at the moment is something the Bengals can afford without hurting the team
- Bengals should sign Ced Benson, I just hope that Ced is realistic about how much he's worth. Overpaying Joseph slightly is not something that will hurt the Bengals. Overpaying Benson probably would. Why? You ask a lot of questions.
- Did Carson Palmer get good value on the sale of his home? Or does our national housing crisis continue unabated?
Last, we end with a little fun at the Bengals expense. With Geoff Hoblaw's Hob Blog, a twitter account, and the "Who Dey Perspective", the Bengals have gotten their internet on big time. But wading into the world of social media is fraught with danger. SuperJew513 (nice handle) sarcastically tweets:
The Bengals, either ignorant of the #idiot hash-tag or desperate to publicly make it seem like fans are renewing in droves, replied:
Welcome back! There have been some positive moves made. Should be exciting season. RT @SuperJew513 Just renewed my @Bengals season tickets
Thanks Bengals! SuperJew513 is just dying to hear about all those positive changes it's all so interesting and fascinating let's discuss please come closer...
Aqua Bengal's brother, Evil Bengal.
Posted by: Sly Vramavomovich | May 16, 2011 at 06:57 PM
That's right.
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | May 16, 2011 at 09:47 PM
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Posted by: Robertd Rosado | May 17, 2011 at 03:07 AM
Last, we end with a little fun at the Bengals expense. With Geoff Hoblaw's Hob Blog, a twitter account, and the "Who Dey Perspective", the Bengals have gotten their internet on big time. But wading into the world of social media is fraught with danger. SuperJew513 (nice handle) sarcastically tweets:
Posted by: cheap jerseys | May 17, 2011 at 03:36 AM
No one wants to get in on the "How fat is Andre Smith gonna be?" pool? I'm disappointed. However, if anyone changes their minds (or hasn't seen it, since I initially posted it in the 28th comment of a two-week old post), I've got 410 pounds as my pick.
Posted by: Wyatt | May 17, 2011 at 10:12 AM
ESPN has him listed at 345. I'll go in with 375. This isn't Price is Right rules, closest wins.
What's at stake Wyatt?
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | May 17, 2011 at 02:33 PM
Good question, SWB - I'm open to suggestions...
Posted by: Wyatt | May 17, 2011 at 02:58 PM
Training camp commences pre September 1st, I'll bet 380. Training camp commences post September 1st, I'll bet 390. Having a brain fart about what possibly to wager.
Posted by: CurseofBoJackson | May 17, 2011 at 03:51 PM
How about you win the right to request some columns of any topic?
I'm having a tough time what I could win from you guys though...
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | May 17, 2011 at 04:36 PM
"no matter how awesome it would be if Dalton dyes black stripes into his orange hair"
+1
Posted by: bungalfamily | May 17, 2011 at 05:12 PM
The question for Smith isn't "What are the stakes," but "Where are the steaks?"
Do well to remember this.
Posted by: Mockenrue | May 17, 2011 at 06:54 PM
I'll take 374. If I win Sleeping W/ Bieniemy has to pay for and eat a whole basket of buffalo calamari(far and away his favorite food).
Posted by: Sly Vramavomovich | May 17, 2011 at 07:11 PM
I almost forgot. Well said Mockenrue.
Posted by: Sly Vramavomovich | May 17, 2011 at 07:12 PM
345?! yeaaaa in his bra!
Posted by: alex | May 17, 2011 at 09:22 PM
Good news is that Andre's foot may heal now that he's NOT allowed to see Mike Browns medical staff.
Posted by: JM | May 17, 2011 at 11:06 PM
There have been some positive changes in the menu at Dennys!
Posted by: PaulBrownsBastardSon | May 17, 2011 at 11:27 PM
@ least 420. he's going the way of JJ, just without ever looking like he might be a good player
Posted by: CJ | May 18, 2011 at 08:47 AM
Don't feel bad about being on hiatus. Mike Brown and the Bengals have been there since 1991.
Posted by: Bob F. | May 18, 2011 at 04:40 PM
Hiatus = Iloveus
With the lockout in effect, can't wait for the fall lineup, of a certain 'competing' network,
who will debut *their* new reality show, titled "The Fattest Bigg'Un", starring...hmmm....
...In other news, can't wait to see Micheal Moore's new crockumentary, titled "Stupor-Size Me: Bowling for Combine", starring Not-My-Shirt,
with a special guest appearance, of former XFL star He-Fat-Me
415 (+/- BBL)
Posted by: Club_Med_Foot | May 19, 2011 at 12:28 AM
Yeah, this whole 'hiatus' thing going on is great
Posted by: Hernius_Maximus | May 19, 2011 at 12:39 AM
True that
Posted by: Truss_Fund | May 19, 2011 at 12:40 AM
You might want to get back to your computer and start writing up a juicy article about Portune wanting to TAX the tickets MFB sells. Awesome Idea and I love it! Stick it to MFB another way since he will not re-negotiate the lease.
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20110518/NEWS0108/105190342/Portune-s-proposal-Tax-tickets?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|
Posted by: TigerJ@w | May 19, 2011 at 06:41 PM
I feel like Moobs is old news...would it be a greater shock if he came to camp at 340 or 400? How about a wager on which recent draft pick will flop? My money is on Dontae Moch being this generation's version of Riccardo McDonald and Robert Sands being the Bengals' version of Pat Watkins. And can someone tell me why in the fuck the Bengals drafted Evan Mathis' replacement with what looks like an exact clone? Luckily Red Dalton is one tough SOB and AJ Green looks like a taller/saner version of Sir Chas.
Posted by: evilbrowntwin | May 20, 2011 at 02:11 PM
You know the best part about WDR's hiatus? No wch!
Posted by: Wyatt | May 23, 2011 at 05:34 PM
You might want to get back to your computer and start writing up a juicy article about Portune wanting to TAX the tickets MFB sells. Awesome Idea and I love it! Stick it to MFB another way since he will not re-negotiate the lease.
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