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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Guess How Mike Brown is going to screw this one up... Round Two | Main | WDR Status: Alive, But Like the NFL, On Hiatus »

May 02, 2011

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James Dearth, to answer your mystery of "How did you play 146 games and never start?" was a long snapper.

I'm only half kidding when I say that they really don't want the pressure or expense of having to sign all of those players. They seem to prefer the bargain bin of humanity. Why draft Johnathan Joseph's replacement when you can sign Pacman Jones?

I'll bet they look at draft picks as liabilities.

Or maybe they think they will yet get something for Carson.

Every year every team thinks they had a great draft. Lets be honest. We won't know for five years if this was a good draft or not. Now would be the time to reflect on the 2006 or 2007 drafts to see how those turned out.

You said: "but when the Bengals venture outside the giant football factories things get dicey." I guess that's true in a literal sense. But the fact is when the bengals simply draft anyone... things get dicey... giant football factory, offbeat lower-rung school, it doesn't matter.
Your most humble and loyal servant,
Dixonator
P.S. I long for the relief death will bring!

Truth Dixonator - they are just bad at drafting in general. But on a relative basis, when they go to the small schools, they might as well just hold open tryouts among all cincinnatians.

I would try out just so if I got close enough to Mike I could spit on him. And I consiter myself a rational person but he brings the worst out in me.

Rich, if that were true, I'd think Mike would want to trade down and pick lower because those guys are cheaper. But I believe he likes picking high. That gives him a better shot at the offensive players he gets all excited over.

I was surprised that you didn't mention the squabble among the front office over whether to draft "Little Red" that the coaches wanted or "Big and Stupid" (aka Ryan Mallett) that Mike Brown wanted. Leave it to MFB to get all twitterpated with a big-talent, damaged-goods player like Mallett. The fact that the coaches won that argument is one of the few threads keeping me from completely disavowing this team, which I would have done had they taken Mallett in the 2nd.

Every year every team thinks it had a great draft.
For the Bengals that includes great picks like the immortal Lamar Rogers, Marco Battaglia, Lamont Thompson, Keiwan Ratliff, and Kenny Irons. In other words, truck loads of nobodies and never weres.

I've already espoused my line of thinking when it comes to the trade, but I'll reiterate it here, at the risk of becoming wch-like: Essentially, giving the Bengals a slew of extra draft picks is akin to playing Russian roulette with five bullets in the revolver instead of 1.

we drafted richie cunningham as our qb?
great times ahead!

"We've drafted in the first round 23 times since 1991 (including 2011), 13 picks in the top 10 and 10 picks below the top 10..."

These are the stats that need to be rebutted (not sure if thats a word) to Mike Brown when he spews his "50% of our draftees are still on our roster" crap...or whatever that worthless stat was he used to justify their previous drafts.

Yes, you may still have a large number of draftees on your roster and look where that has landed you. Consistently in the top half of the first fucking round!

Wyatt, your Russian roullette analogy is a terrible one. The Bengals need only one chance to screw up a pick, so more picks does not increase their chances. If anything it's more like gambling roullette, the more picks they have hte more chances they have to make a good pick. The more chances they have to not screw it up. Their track record, and I think we can all agree here, shows their default is to make a bad pick.

I think the Patriots have been using the strategy of increasing the number of picks to increase the probability getting a good player quite successfully. In one way it's akin to SEC teams signing more players than they have scholarships for and cutting the ones that don't pan out. In another way it's like trading down instead of taking Jermaine Gresham, and taking Gronkowski AND Hernandez.

Draft picks are a crap shoot, and the more chances you have the more likely you are to score.

Furthermore, I think this article illustrates quite well how the Mike Brown Bengals have shot themselves in the foot more often with top 10/top 5 picks than with lower half of the first round picks. If anything, the proverbial Russian roulette bullets ARE the top 10 picks, and keeping those despite having a chance to trade down and take more picks.

Also, you are not close to becoming wch-like, sorry my ramblings went on like a wch post.

My second sentence above does quite say what I wanted to say--it's more confusing than helpful, and I regret wording it in that way. Probably should be ignored.

Sorry to jump in again, but on this topic I really like this SI article about the Moskowitz book, Scorecasting. Take a look at this excerpt:


"Even looking position by position, the top draft picks are overvalued. How much better is the first quarterback or receiver taken than the second or third quarterback or receiver? Not much. The researchers concluded the following:

• The probability that the first player drafted at a given position is better than the second player drafted at the same position is only 53%, that is, slightly better than a tie.

• The probability that the first player drafted at a position is better than the third player drafted at the same position is only 55%.

• The probability that the first player drafted at a position is better than the fourth player drafted at the same position is only 56%."

Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/the_bonus/01/13/sportscasting.excerpt/index.html#ixzz1LPaOMDl1


Now, think AJ Green>Julio Jones>Jon Baldwin. (I admit, out of the group I want Green the most, and also think Jones will be most sucessful early on given his situation, but...) You are taking AJ Green over Baldwin (and at least 4 picks, including a first and second rounder) with only a 55% chance that Green will be better than Baldwin. The amazing thing to me, is that Mike Brown passes on the opportunity to add a WR for way cheaper and still build the team up. To me, it seems like he really likes these high picks because of the increase in fan opinion, merchandise sales boost, false sense of hope, etc.

The article talks about other examples, like Eli Manning vs. Phillip River + Shawne Merriman. To me, when you bring up Russian roulette (which I emarassingly mispelled above), it makes me think statistics. And the statistics, in the case of the Bengals and the history of the NFL draft, show that trading down gives you a better probability of having a better draft haul.

Holy crap I'm off for the next two days,
there's a cold 12-pack of Bürger in the fridge,
it's the Bengals' off-season (the other off-season),
and the draft is overwith (without too much casualty)

What could go wrong (besides running out of beer)?

No news is good news, and it's time to celebrate the good news...


WHO-DEY, and

¡VIVA WDR!

Richie Cunningham says:

VIVA WDR, BUCKO!

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great now we've got spammers. I will keep your spam in my idea.


I guess that's just how some languages translate
into English, lol

They probably make even less sense
in their own language.

But don't let me change your idea, lol

MFB's Dalton draft day analysis.

He's got red hair? The people here like Red's don't they? Those Red's were good last year, went to the playoffs. Pumpkin, Marvin unit, I'm keen on some red, I think we'll do all right there.

Draft us a red.

As long as Mike Brown is making the picks (or standing over Marvin's shoulder)and signing the players, it doesn't make much difference if they trade to stockpile picks or not. It's not like they have shown that they are good at using picks they stockpile.

@Carson Palmer's craw is correct.
You could let the Bengals draft the first 28 picks every year and they'd still suck.

[taken from various, throughly reliable sources, because you know, everything on the web is reliable and true...like the Bengals' offensive line]


Etymology [word history and origin]


O.E. *cræg "throat," a Germanic word (cf. M.Du. craghe "neck, throat," O.H.G. chrago, Ger. Kragen "collar, neck"), of obscure origin
(or is that 'of craw-like origin'? ).

"stick in [one's] craw"

1. (old-fashioned) if a situation or someone's behaviour sticks in your craw, it annoys you, usually because you think it is wrong.

ex: I do lots of jobs in the house but my brother says I'm lazy, and that really sticks in my craw.

-or-

ex: I take lots of snaps on the field [while wearing orange-and-black] but my offensive line says 'come on over',
and that really sticks in my craw.


2. (Australian) if someone 'sticks in your craw', they annoy you.

ex. She sticks in my craw every time I have to deal with her. [Pumpkin, or Mike Brown's cleaning lady?]

See also: craw, stick

---------------------------------------------------


'stick in your craw': to be unacceptable and therefore annoying to you.

She went to prison even though she was innocent - that case has stuck in my craw ever since.


Etymology: like something you cannot swallow, based on the literal meaning of craw (the throat of a bird)

[does this mean Carson is heading for: the Cardinals, Seahawks, Falcons, or Eagles?]

or, almost forgot,

ex: ex: I take lots of snaps on the field [while wearing orange-and-black] but my offensive line says 'come on over',
and then the privliged heir-apparent owner of the NFL team that I play for, wonders what's in my craw,
the same way he wonders what's in his Woolrich boxers.

I think the happiest guy in the draft is Julio Jones. The Bengals "draft guy with a cell phone" liked AJ better.

Anybody want to bet that Julio will be a pro bowler in less than 3 years and that in the same time Bengals.com will be explaining the slow transition to the NFL for receivers?

Remember, Simpson had great hands too. The Falcons hire a new coach then take a QB #1 overall and they're super bowl contenders in 3-4 years. Like we should have been.

Both colleagues were very shaken up and the police were called. Later we found out the knife was dumped just up the road, but not before the crusty had gone into one of the afore-mentioned pubs and attempted to rob the place with it. And to show how much our company cares, neither were sent home after the incident.

Sorry for the length of post but like I said, I was just reminded of these.

@JM

Julio Jones dodged the bullet for sure.

Got to be the happiest guy in the draft.

It's concerning though that a well run franchise like the Falcons thought more of Jones than Green. They weren't worried about the Bengals taking Green. They wanted Jones. They probably could have sweetened the deal to jump ahead of Cincy if they thought they would take Jones rather than Green. I don't know why the Bengals thought more of one than the other. Does anybody know?

Did anybody see in the latest Monday Morning Quarterback where Peter King is talking about how Eric Winston, the Texans' starting right tackle and player rep, is policing his weight and staying in shape in spite of the lockout (with the general thought being that offensive and defensive linemen wouldn't be able to do so). That got me to thinking - how big is Andre Smith going to be when he finally reports? I say we get a pool going - my money is on 410 pounds.

The amazing thing to me, is that Mike Brown passes on the opportunity to add a WR for way cheaper and still build the team up.

Did anybody see in the latest Monday Morning Quarterback where Peter King is talking about how Eric Winston, the Texans' starting right tackle and player rep, is policing his weight and staying in shape in spite of the lockout (with the general thought being that offensive and defensive linemen wouldn't be able to do so). That got me to thinking - how big is Andre Smith going to be when he finally reports? I say we get a pool going - my money is on 410 pounds.

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They weren't worried about the Bengals taking Green. They wanted Jones. They probably could have sweetened the deal to jump ahead of Cincy if they thought they would take Jones rather than Green. I don't know why the Bengals thought more of one than the other. Does anybody know?

Outdoor dining is such an obvious plus for downtown.

If you click on the MP3 link below, you'll hear a backing track of "The Thrill is Gone" in Bm with some simple Pentatonic solo riffs. I've also experimented a bit with some of the delay capabilities, though honestly I don't think I did the effects justice. Still you can get a sense of the quality of the backing tracks and the built-in tones.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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