I've often thought that maybe WDR should simply become a FJM-style blog dedicated solely to everything posted on Bengals.com. It's like a chinese mega-factory committed solely to producing prolific quantities of nonsense instead of super awesome lead-based toys. It alone could generate all the material we'd ever need for this site.
Here's the latest "thing" that caught my eye from Hob. It concerns Mike, the last CBA, the current negotiations, Jim Irsay, an island and an overflowing "damn". I know, exciting stuff.
With the collective bargaining agreement now dead five years after he was one of just two that told their fellow owners it was no good, he typically stayed in the background while the Giants' John Mara mused, "We should have listened to him."
That sentence makes me weep for the english language.
And yeah John Mara, you should have listened to Mike. It really sucked to have labor peace, football being played, and everyone making money.
In case you are wondering, nowhere in this article will you find out with any specificity why Mike Brown labeled the last CBA "no good". I am sure he gave the reasons at some point. I don't remember myself but I assume it involved the omission of a "Denny's Clause".
"Obviously, you have to say he was ahead of his time," said Colts owner Jim Irsay, smiling at the incongruity and truth of the statement.
Agreed. If by "ahead of his time" you mean he wanted the owners to offer the players a horrible deal five years before and ruin football for America even earlier.
But Brown wasn't saying "I told you so" this week after he and the Bills' Ralph Wilson were ripped for being out of touch as the only two to vote against extending the collective bargaining agreement in 2006.
The whole premise of this angle Hob takes is fucked. Exactly why does a lockout today, after half a decade of enormously successful and popular NFL seasons that resulted from the last CBA, mean that the last CBA was somehow a disaster that only Mike and Ralph foresaw would ruin everything? The answer is that agreeing to the last CBA ruined nothing.
What is ruining everything is that somehow the owners decided they need to make MORE money even though the overwhelming majority of them have the major cost (stadium) of their monopoly business picked up by taxpayers.
"That was last time. That’s water over the damn. That’s history," Brown said this week.
Water over the damn? But did it also go under the bridge? I'm so confused. Maybe Mike stole that metaphor from Peter King, that would explain a lot. At any rate, Hob is really "digging himself into a corner" with this angle, hopefully we can move on soon.
"Ralph and him, they were visionaries on those things that ended up a tougher deal for us," Irsay said.
Nope. Guess we can't.
Let us all hope and pray that this will be the last time anyone labels Mike Brown a "visionary". He is blessed with actual eyesight to be sure, but not the kind of vision you get compliments for. Insight? No. Foresight? No. Any other type of sight that implies fans of your team will have hope for a superbowl win? No.
Richardson says Brown "is an independent thinker and doesn't take long to say what he wants to say." Those are traits that have often put Brown on an island in ownership.
I'd say what puts Mike Brown on an island in ownership mostly is his backward infrastructure and his ability to lose consistently in a league designed for parity. But that's just me. Also, independent thinking is great...if thinking is that person's strong suit. I'd prefer that Mike had someone else doing his thinking for him.
Good God though. I'm getting quite sick of all this Mike Brown praise. Who could bring a wet blanket to this love fest? The Steelers of course.
"I don't know why he voted against it (in '06)." the Steelers' Art Rooney said.
We don't know why either Art. But nevermind. VISIONARY.
Dear God...
When Mike Brown is the beacon of light for SUCCESSFUL NFL owners I officially lose faith that we will have a NFL season this year.
Posted by: Kevin Jones | March 24, 2011 at 01:23 PM
Yep - scary.
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | March 24, 2011 at 01:32 PM
Aside from the several references to a "damn" (should be "dam", although I've not checked Bengals.com to see if Hob uses the improper one), my only complaint with this post (and a lot of the recent posts and comments, actually) is the continued use of "monopoly" to describe owning an NFL team. The proper term would be "oligopoly", because there are 31 other competitors for NFL fans' loyalty (and money). To be perfectly honest, it's a very minor flaw in an otherwise well-executed takedown of possibly the worst "professional" sportswriter on the 'net.
(And, if anyone was wondering, I've been gone because I had 3 weeks off of work and spent it mostly unplugged, enjoying the time with my family.)
Posted by: Wyatt | March 24, 2011 at 02:16 PM
Wyatt, Hob did sure use the wrong "damn." What would you expect with someone with such command of the english language?
Posted by: bungalfamily | March 24, 2011 at 03:37 PM
Here's another Hob gem from that article:
"A traditional hawk when it comes to replay, flow of the game is also the reason he chose to vote for the official in the booth having the option to replay any scoring play."
So in addition to being a visionary, Brown is also a traditional hawk?
"But you better do it quickly. He's back behind the desk."
Probably, getting a Hob-job, so do not disturb.
Posted by: bungalfamily | March 24, 2011 at 03:45 PM
Hate to say it...but the way the post ended quoting Rooney, it seems he is the owner we would like to have, yet that means we'd have to root for the Steelers. Wodi, that is a mind fuck.
Posted by: Neutered Bengal | March 24, 2011 at 05:37 PM
@ Neutered Bengal - I was thinking the EXACT same thing!
Posted by: comrade guttersnake | March 26, 2011 at 01:35 AM
Q: when Mike is at Denny's, what does he have to drink with his "Moon Over My Hammy" (hint: think cheap!) ?
A: Water over the damn (must be free refills)
(waitress always asks him: Mr. Brown, would you like more water, or to be cursed for eternity?
Guess what Mike's answer is...)
Posted by: Hofbraunow | March 28, 2011 at 01:04 AM
To a point, he IS a visionary... He got this sweetheart deal -- one that no other NFL owner could manage to finagle. He managed to fuck all y'all -- and not only that, you guys actually like it and have asked: "Thank you sir, may I have another!
MBMBB had the 'great' vision to figure out how to 'hose' the hell out of Bengals fans, and not only get away with it, but have the City PAY him to do it! He's done all of this to the point that we have some people on here yapping about building an indoor practice facility -- which like everything else, has no bearing on the team or its players -- but it sure will cost money!
BTW. did Hobson actually write it: "...water over the damn..." If so, maybe he should take a remdial spelling course?
It is '...water over the dam...'
"I'd say what puts Mike Brown on an island in ownership mostly is his backward infrastructure and his ability to lose consistently in a league designed for parity." You forgot to add: "He screws over the city and county whilst doing it -- and whatsmore, the city and the county PAY him to do it even MORE often." He even managed to get a new stadium out of it and Cincinnatians (some) and Hamilton Countians (some) <--is that even a word?) knew this going in and bent over asking for more. How's that for chutzpah?
Wyatt, they are using 'monopoly' referring to the collective group, most people have no clue or never have heard of oligopoly -- though that is the more descriptively correct term.
Posted by: wch | March 28, 2011 at 03:05 AM
Wyatt: given the fact that the structure of money flow in the NFL is based largely on revenue sharing, rather than direct competition between teams, the NFL is probably more accurately described as a cartel, not an oligopoly. Either way, your criticism is just another manifestation of your typically rigid and pedantic form.
Any one else find humor and, perhaps, the slightest bit of irony in WCH's spelling of "remedial"? Given the context, I find it telling.
Posted by: CJ | March 28, 2011 at 03:04 PM
Just saw that a tipster gave Roger Goodell's email address (presumably an annonymous/important account):
rskinner@nfl.net
Could be a good CC for correspondence with the Bungal Brown family.
link: http://deadspin.com/#!5785884/this-may-be-an-email-account-roger-goodell-only-gives-out-to-important-people
Of course the address has probably been obliterated to hell already by lockout frustated fans.
Oh, and WCH, if you would read the comments of others you would know that I checked and Hob did indeed use the wrong damn. Some people occasionally skim your comments, the least you could do is read ours.
Posted by: bungalfamily | March 28, 2011 at 07:30 PM
I'm a visionary too.
MFB will vote against this CBA too. Because it takes something he does not have.
Compromise.
I'll also go on the record now for envisioning another busted ass high first round pick.
And the Bengals being equally inept during the regular and off seasons as long as mike breathes.
See, very visionary.
Posted by: JM | March 29, 2011 at 01:36 AM
CJ,
I can see where you're coming from (does that make you rigid and pedantic as well, I wonder?), but I maintain that oligopoly is the more correct descriptor based simply on the fact that shared revenue doesn't cover all merchandising sales (Jerry Jones found a loophole in that), stadium concessions/parking, corporate/luxury boxes, and there are few other things I'm missing. Also, owners are free to set their own ticket prices and do not have to coordinate with, or receive approval from, any other owners. In truth, neither oligopoly or cartel or whatever is a very accurate descriptor for owning an NFL team; however, both are better suited than the much more commonly used monopoly. And, had you read my entire comment, you'd see that I mentioned that it was a personal peeve (and a minor one at that).
And yes, I found it laughable that WDR poet laureate wch was criticizing ANYONE'S spelling and/or grammar - at least when I do/did it, I have all my proverbial ducks in a row.
Posted by: Wyatt | March 29, 2011 at 09:17 AM
I'm looking forward to the draft.
They pick 4th. Which means less than 1 hour watching Mike Brown fuck it up. Watching teams trade up to grab a guy the Bungles need (how YOU doin' Sedric Ellis) then watching the Bengals take the next guy on "their board" (kind of like an etch a sketch) when they should clearly be trading down. (how you doin' Keith Rivers)
But the great part about the sports pimps, I mean ESPN's draft anal overload show this year, is that I have 3 picks to watch with interest, 1 pick to laugh my happy ass off, and 28 other picks to drink and call my buddies and bitch about.
MFB, I'm looking forward to the 2011 "draft up our shaft". Please don't break it off in yourself too bad.
But....... Draft time means I have to watch the Steelers, Patriots, and Ravens select and say.................. "nice pick".
Posted by: JM | March 29, 2011 at 09:22 PM
New, on Kindle, and at the App Store!
"Water Over The Damn: The Mike Brown Saga"
Posted by: Hofbraunow | April 03, 2011 at 01:06 AM
Visionary, delusionary, six of one ...
Posted by: KennyP | April 04, 2011 at 01:51 PM
A hotel is suing Missouri state Sen. Robin Wright-Jones over an unpaid tab for her 60th birthday party, claiming Capitol lobbyists picked up some — but not all — of the $6,000 cost.
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