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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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January 20, 2011

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So, he's not getting fired. Is he...

Fuck

Let's be positive and look towards the next 10 years with all those employed by MFB still in place and wrecking havoc on the fans of Cincinnati.

All of us know that every season is new and we all start with a clean slate, full of optimism, and ready to golly gee do our best. I say a celebration is in order for Brat and all the figure heads of the Bengal organization. All Hail Brat!

I place him in the likes of the weatherman or lady who on a daily basis will be wrong yet have the greatest of job security. He is a genius, just work with Mike and be loyal. Brat must have a dog and has observed it's behavior over the years then uses it with Mike. Roof Roof!

I am so looking forward to the next ten years especially after the press conference when we were assured that the are close, real close, to getting where they want to be. Remember, it's continuity that is best at this time.

Last to 200 wins first to 300 loses. I am stoked!!!!

i am going to nut my pants when mike brown dies, just thinking about it....mmmm


I don't know what I'm going to do yet,
but I certainly *am* going to celebrate the anniversery.

I do appreciate said euphemism, since there certainly is no anniversary regarding Brat which I'd choose to celebrate.

Oh well, at least there's Oktoberfest in Zinzinnati next
year to look forward to, at which time we will drink the delicious, fermented wort, from Märzen...now that is worth wating for...

Guten Tag!

A few interesting notes from the blast from the past article on Brat's hiring.

- In 1997 he orchestrated a #1 ranked passing game. He also had Warren fucking Moon slanging the pigskin. Much like the Cincy O in 2005, failing would be hard to do if you were competent enough to be in the NFL in the first place.

- Brat says, and I quote "A good running game is the foundation for a productive offense"

- Brat was basically hired because the only other guy they were talking to wanted to keep his options open, always refreshing.


I'm sure i'm being a Bengals douche, but I can just feel it in my soul that Brat is gone before the start of the season. I've still got a sliver of hope that Marvin will find a way to get him off the roster, even if we have to replace him at the OC slot with Jason Shirley.

I plan to pop in a DVD of the Bengals' offenses highlights over the past decade. While it's playing, I'll try to drink as many beers as I possibly can. I'm hoping to get five or six down in the five minutes it'll take the DVD to play through.

Speaking as a member of MikeBrownSucks.com I wish we had seen this coming. Since we recently gave MikeyBoy the futility award for fastest to 200 losses and slowest to 100 wins it would have been nice to celebrate this Bratkowski anniversary too. But alas, Brat's wife and Mikey's wife are BFF and as such, Brat has the job security of a Supreme Court Justice. I wish they'd just move to Los Angeles and stop sucking the life out of this city.

Let me see if I have this correct and please correct me if I am wrong:

1. Bengals lost 12 games in 2010 including 10 in a row.
2. Katie Blackburn says this was result of tough schedule
3. Mike is making no changes in personnel, coaching, or scouting.
4. Katie feels easier schedule in '11 will fix problems.

Does this about accurately sum up the Bengals game plan for the off season? What in any of this makes anyone think that this team will be a consistant contender? Absolutely pathetic!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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