Now wading waist deep in the aftermath of Tuesday's press conference, it's time for a recap of what exactly took place at 4:30pm in the bowels of Paul Brown Stadium.
As I posted Tuesday afternoon, Marvin Lewis had decided not to return. I stand by that, as I also stand by my comment that the situation could change. He had left the stadium and gone home, his coaching future in limbo, and honestly didn't know what his next move would be. Then a call from Sam Wyche. Another from Mike Brown, urging him to return to the stadium to try and work this out. Whatever happened between 1pm and 4pm, we might never know. But, as a Bengals fan, you have to hope it was something dramatic. Something more significant than agreeing to fire Bob Bratkowski or cut Chad Ochocinco. In reality, it probably wasn't. And that's pathetic. In the end, it was probably the ego of Lewis...the ego of an NFL coach...to believe that with a little more control over coaching and player decisions, that he can be the one to turn this thing around.
In the meantime, many commenters have asked for us for our thoughts on what we are calling the Worst Press Conference in Modern History. We're here to deliver.
“Reggie Nelson was a good pickup. Also the...uhh...(motioning to Lewis) the fullback from Rutgers?
WDR Take: That's right Bengals fans, your owner, your general manager, doesn't know Brian Leonard's name. This isn't the last guy on your practice squad. This has been a player on your 53 man roster the last two years. Also the player who you are using as an example to explain how talented your scouting department is...and you can't remember his name. Beyond incredible, and I'm surprised this has not been getting more play locally and nationally.
I suppose it could have been worse, he could have said that 'white guy who hurdles people'. Actually, I would have been impressed that he knew Leonard was white.
Mike Brown to Brad Johansen after he asked about the length of Lewis's contract:
“You keep asking, and I don’t think the answer’s going to change. It’s as long as any other coach, or longer. It’s long enough to protect him in his position. I would say this: I think we’re going to have a better year next year, and it might get longer than that real fast.”
WDR Take: Mike Brown essentially telling his long-standing radio play-by-play announcer: Hey Johansen, go hump yourself. Completely inappropriate and ridiculous behavior, especially when you consider Geoff Hobson HAD ALREADY POSTED THE LENGTH OF THE CONTRACT ON BENGALS.COM. Why even hold a press conference if you are going to act like this? Just issue a press release and wake us up after Bratkowski is fired.
Marty Brennaman later said on 700WLW that if the Reds owner or GM would ever talk to him like that, they could find someone else to do radio.
Marvin Lewis on the idea that he now has more control over personnel decisions:
“I don’t know where that comes from, because I don’t know if I’ve sat down here and ever said that (that he less than unsatisfied with control over personnel). People keep putting that out there. I have a lot of input in our personnel. It’s Mike’s ultimate say-so. He’s the owner, he’s the general manager, and it’s my job when we disagree to show him why this is the way I think. As he will tell you, most times he sides with me. It’s my job to educate him on why it’s the way I see it. I understand that. I actually relish that opportunity. As I’ve said many times, it’s one-stop shopping. There’s no middleman I have to go through. He and I talk and discuss each and every morning or afternoon or whenever it occurs, and that’s the way it is.”
WDR Take: You're right Marvin, it's just like Kroger. One-stop shopping. Except the produce is rotten, the milk is spoiled, and the employees berate you when walk up and down the aisles. But yes, one-stop shopping.
Mike Brown on what types of changes are planned:
“It has to do with how we set ourselves up to play the game, what we do when we are playing an opponent. That’s the real nitty-gritty of what matters. As far as Marvin’s role on personnel, I would venture he as a strong a voice in personnel as any coach in the National Football League. I can only think of an example or two at most when we may have done something differently than Marvin would have preferred, and in those cases I am not sure they were all that important decisions. It’s a misunderstanding to disguise it differently. People don’t know because they aren’t there seeing how we interact, but that is how we interact.”
WDR's Take: "It has to do with how we set ourselves up to play the games". I don't know what this means. Literally no idea. Mike Brown thinks the Bengals are close based on:
- Zero playoff wins
- Most losses by an NFL team in thet past 20 years
- Explaining away 20 years of horrible football operation decisions with 'bad luck and injuries'...while the rest of the league does it completely differently. Based on this logic, it's reasonable to believe that Mike Brown thinks teams like Pittsburgh and New England win year after year because they are lucky, and the Bengals are not.
I mean this with every fiber in my body: Mike Brown is not just delusional. He is clinically insane. I mean IN-SANE. Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. That is the definition of insanity. This press conference sealed the deal, if there was any shred of doubt remaining.
Mike Brown on if they’re in agreement on what needs to be done with the coaching staff:
“It’s something that we’re going to work together on as we go through the next few weeks.”
WDR's Take: Again, why hold a press conference then if you aren't going to answer questions?
Mike Brown on plans to make any changes to the scouting and personnel departments:
“The scouting thing is another criticism that rises up when we don’t do well. If you look at our record on scouting over the last 10 years, we rank 10th for the number of games played by players we drafted. I think we sank to 11th on the number of players who are in the league that we drafted, and we would be higher than that except for injuries that were serious that players like (David) Pollack suffered, or Chris Perry, or what happened with (Odell) Thurman, or what happened to Chris Henry. We had a number of those. It was disproportionate. I don’t apologize for our scouting. It’s an easy target, but if you look at the real facts, I think you’ll see it differently.”
WDR Take: Actually, looking at the facts is what gets you in trouble Mike. The stat you referenced means absolutely nothing. It means you are drafting the wrong players for your team. And who the hell is 1 thru 9 on this list? Do you even want to be #1 on this list? How many pro-bowlers have you drafted? How many playoff games have they won?
Mike Brown on where the team stands on building an indoor practice facility:
“Marvin has a desire to have a practice facility. I have a desire, but probably not as keen. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a desire to do it. The timing is important. Right now, we’re faced with major issues in the National Football League, and those are at the front of our agenda. When we get through that, then we’ll have time to consider this issue. It’s one of the important issues that we have in mind. I would make the comment that some of this is perception. We worked in the cold weather. We played in the cold weather. It didn’t seem to hurt us any to practice in the cold weather. We played pretty well in it. But I do know that it’s the way it’s trending. It’s the fact that we have been left behind what others are doing. Whether that makes them better than us because they have an indoor practice facility is a question, but it’s coming.”
WDR Take: Who the hell uses the word keen? Are monks still writing the playbooks? No wonder Bratkowski hasn't used a new play since 2005. And also, that is a false statement about indoor practice facilities 'trending' that way. It already IS that way. What happens when the Bengals are playing in a dome or in San Diego in a playoff push in December? Won't be playing the game in cold weather, but you practice in 20 degree weather or 40 degree weather and rain for no reason. Practice facilities are not a new-fangled idea Mike...they are standard business practice in the NFL, a category ante, and it's a flat out joke you don't have one built. Period.
More to come in Part 2...
I don't even know where to begin. The man is so out of touch it's not even funny anymore.
Posted by: ghostchild | January 06, 2011 at 10:19 AM
So let's get this straight: Marv Lewis decided not to return to the bengals, even though he has returned. But you stand by the fact that he decided not to return. OK. And then the other day you were giving credit to Mike Beelzebrown bringing Marv back, even though you stand by your report that Marv decided not to come back. Yet despite giving credit to the Prince of Darkness for bringing Mediocre Marv back, you now say Marv and Mike's news conference the other day was "The Worst Press Conference in Modern History." Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to being bengalized. It happens to even revolutionaries. Here are the symptoms, confusion, dileria, contradictory speech patterns, and an inability to grasp realistic and basic terms in the English language. Even La Who-Dey Revolucian is being bengalized. Strap on the silk gloves, folks, because even this here revolucian page makes about as much sense as Mike Beelzebrown and Mediocre Marv flapping their gums about how they're satisfied with the way the team is performing these days. Pew-dey!
Your most humble and loyal servant,
Dixonator
P.S. I long for the relief death will bring!
Posted by: Dixonator | January 06, 2011 at 10:25 AM
"Keen"?
They say that in the UK.
It is also a brand of watershoe/sandal
(maybe Mike wears them, or watches a lot of PBS detective shows, and hears on-screen dialog like, "We are keen to catch that yob.").
Posted by: Hofbraunow | January 06, 2011 at 10:34 AM
Oh Mike. “The scouting thing is another criticism that rises up when we don’t do well. If you look at our record on scouting over the last 10 years, we rank 10th for the number of games played by players we drafted". This makes no sense. Why does Mike Brown think 'X number of games played = success?' Using this logic, that means we are the 10th best team at drafting players who are fucking shit for a long time. And we are slow to replace them. Hobson is already preparing to announce Marvin as the winningest coach in Benagls history next season when we reach 5 wins (ha! Such presumption...) by using the same retarded logic.
Posted by: DorsetBengal07 | January 06, 2011 at 10:36 AM
Wow, thank you for an awesome breakdown of that miserable press conference. All exceptionally valid points.
The comment that drives me most insane is the stat the MB throws out with regards to the scouting department. You're right: this stat is absolutely MEANINGLESS. Who the hell cares if you have the 10th most players on the roster that you drafted? If they are shitty players (which they are), then you've done nothing to improve your team. Many of these guys simply wouldn't make any other NFL rosters. I mean, if you drafted ME and played me at QB, this would still "improve" your team based on that stat - but I can tell you quite clearly, your team would be fucking atrocious if I were playing QB.
This is the fundamental problem that MB has: he doesn't understand how to develop an overarching strategy. Instead, he gets caught up in cost-cutting tactics. The retail comparison is apropos: he runs the Bengals as if they were a commodity good, like they're just a box of #2 pencils. To him, it's all about cutting costs - as long as the product is semi-decent, he'll make a profit. But what he fails to understand is that the NFL is NOT a commodity business - the Patriots and Steelers have figured out that you need a solid strategy to prevail, you can't rely on simple dollars-and-cents tactics to get you anywhere.
Or maybe MB knows all of this and just doesn't give a shit what we think. I think I'd respect him more if that were the case.
Posted by: SM | January 06, 2011 at 10:53 AM
This may sound crazy or stupid, but would it be possible for residents of Hamilton county to sue Mike? I don't live in Hamilton county so I don't have much of a legal leg to stand on, but Mike made promises to you residents of Hamilton county if you paid for his stadium. Think a lawyer would take on a class action lawsuit from the county residents?
Posted by: Jeff | January 06, 2011 at 10:58 AM
@DorsetBengal07
Just noticed that you beat me to the punch on that stat (10th most games played by players drafted) - I agree, it's totally meaningless. Why won't the press call him out on that? It's literally the one stat he uses to validate his cheap approach to scouting, and yet anyone with half a brain can see how devoid of substance it is.
Posted by: SM | January 06, 2011 at 10:58 AM
Regarding the scouting comment. Even if Mikey's stat were legit (which it's not), it's still 10th place. Who the fuck is happy with 10th place?
Posted by: Comrade Ken | January 06, 2011 at 11:32 AM
someone should have asked mikey if he understands how many games he has lost since becoming owner of this team..and if how many losing records it would take before he understands that he needs to hire a general manager
Posted by: dingleberry bengals fan | January 06, 2011 at 11:49 AM
I know the organization needs to be ripped on the press conference, but our moaning does little. The site needs to offer more proactive ideas on boycotting and hurting the finances of the Mike Brown regime. Mike Brown is the Kim Jong Il of the NFL.....When it looks like he is about to falter, he does things to try and appease the fan base. However, has no intention at all of improving, he did the same thing with Marvin. We need to continue the boycott, and we need to continue to send the message to the regime that we are no longer going to stand for it. I think continuing to mail back gear and letters is good, especially since Mike probably thinks he did something really good by getting Lewis back. (He obviously was desperate for him if Marv left the premise and Brown kept calling him like a dumped girlfriend) Also, more media attention needs to be drawn to the amount of fan discontent.
P.S. If Sam Wyche played a role in helping Mike Brown obtain Marv, is Wyche now an enemy of the revolution?
Posted by: Neutered Bengal | January 06, 2011 at 11:51 AM
Let's look at the players Mike Brown used as examples of unfortunate circumstances that undermined otherwise good scouting:
1) Pollack - I'll give him this one. Looked to be a great player, suffered a very unfortunate, freak accident. Moving along...
2) Chris Perry - when he wasn't injured he was still FRICKIN' TERRIBLE. We used a first rounder on this guy. We traded out of a spot where we could have had Steven Jackson. This is maybe the worst draft pick in the last decade, regardless of injuries.
3) Odell Thurman & Chris Henry - I'll take these two together because they are similar. Talented players that had SERIOUS red flags going into the draft that caused other teams to drop them off their draft boards. We took a chance and we got bit in the ass.
3 out of the 4 picks he mentions to defend his scouting department were just plain bad picks that no excuse can make up for.
Posted by: Ben | January 06, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Haha, you guys have to check this out. It's an article on ESPN.com about all the possible scenarios with the new overtime rules. I'm posting it here cause in the middle he takes a random break just to talk about how horrible the Bengals press conference was. He even calls Mikey Boy "borderline delusional." Go here and check out scenario 8: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=fleming/110106&sportCat=nfl
I guess it's good to know that we're not the only ones who realize that MB is full of it.
Posted by: Rob F. | January 06, 2011 at 12:38 PM
Rob F., thanks! That espn article is right on! :-)
To those who call Mike B's stat "meaningless", I'd go one step further and say that it is actually contrary to his point!
Being high on the list of teams who have played their own draftees while consistantly LOSING does NOT mean your scouting department is good! It means it sucks!
(sheesh!)
Posted by: Steve | January 06, 2011 at 01:42 PM
As I watched parts of the press conference dumbfounded I thought, this dude has just enough braincells to support life.
Posted by: 5chw4r7z | January 06, 2011 at 02:08 PM
yeah all it means is that you play the guys you draft...thats it...if he was trying to say, we are good at playing the people we draft, he'd be right...it just doesnt say a goddamn thing about how good the scouting is. he could say the same thing if he randomly picked people off the street, put them in bengals uniforms and put them in the game...
mike:"hey were 1st in the league in the number of players we found on the street."
some press guy: "uh sir you havent won a game in 5 years..."
mike: "..first in the league!"
Posted by: ickey's headband | January 06, 2011 at 02:14 PM
Every time someone mentions Mikey's stat @ players still in the league my boss ask the same question; "how many made all pro?"
A question for older Revolutionaries; Considering the way Sam W was either fired or quit does it seem odd that while Marvin was on his way home after talks broke down that Sam just "happened" to call Marvin?
Gut feeling says someone in the front office called Sam and then Sam called Marvin w/ the just be patient message.
Posted by: Comrade Robert | January 06, 2011 at 02:36 PM
He doesnt see a problem. He doesn't feel he has to change anything. He defended everything he does. He also just told all of us that we're not a consideration to him in any way.
We didn't get any change from Mike
Mike won't get any change ($$$) from us
Mike Brown
No change = No change($$$)
All we can do is withhold our support and money.
Posted by: JM | January 06, 2011 at 02:38 PM
JM --
This: "No change = No change($$$)" should be the credo that ALL Bengals fans live by when talking to/about Mike Brown. Well done.
This slogan should be on the new Billboards in the city, should be in letters/packages sent to the Front Office, and should be the newest product in the "Fire Bratkowski" Fashion Line.
Posted by: EdHochuli'sArms | January 06, 2011 at 04:21 PM
Second Ed's backing of JM's slogan, great thought, and great idea for application of said thought.
Posted by: CurseofBoJackson | January 06, 2011 at 05:01 PM
JM/Ed:
And how about this one: No Sense = No Dollars ($$$)
Posted by: West TX | January 06, 2011 at 05:50 PM
Ancient Chinese Proverb Say:
If blind man try to tell you color, cut off his tongue.
If he try to paint you picture, cut off his hands.
If he still try to sell you season ticket, he must be Mike Brown.
Posted by: West TX | January 06, 2011 at 05:58 PM
thinking about it, Mikey is right, the bengals dont need an indoor practice facility. Most Decembers are pretty mild in Cincy, and the bad weather doesnt usually happen here til January/Feb. The bengals dont play in those months, so it would be a waste of time/money etc. Winning teams play in those months, and that isnt a description of Mike Brown's team.
Posted by: Emmit | January 06, 2011 at 06:01 PM
NEVER going to change.
NEVER
Posted by: TJanns | January 06, 2011 at 06:02 PM
Where do I mail back all of my Bengals apparel to? Mike Brown needs to wake up with a horse head in his bed....
Posted by: LaserCat1975 | January 06, 2011 at 06:41 PM
from willie anderson twitter:
Don't know if I'm late but I just received word no changes on Bengals Staff except Linebackers coach
Posted by: luda | January 06, 2011 at 09:54 PM
Ditto, JM came up with another good slogan
( No Change = No Change($$$) )
A previous JM slogan was good too
( the 'You don't care / You don't try / You don't spend...Why should we? )
Posted by: Hofbraunow | January 06, 2011 at 10:21 PM
Or.........
"The only sellout you'll enjoy in 2011
Is...................
Your head coach!"
Posted by: JM | January 06, 2011 at 11:39 PM
I want a Marvin the Martian T-Shirt, but with Marvin Lewis' face,
with a caption that reads:
"PBS? I'm going to blow it up!!!"
or
"Re-signing cut players makes me *very* angry (breathes heavily)"
------------------------------
PS The Dixonator's signature end-quote would also make a good T-shirt slogan, maybe even in an orange-and-black scheme:
"PS I long for the relief death will bring!" lol
That said, I also long for the relief death will bring The Dixonator
(since he puts it that way)
Posted by: Hofbraunow | January 07, 2011 at 12:33 AM
I've been telling my friends for years that I thought Mike Brown was certifiably insane. On top of that, a delusional asshole. That press conference confirms it.
Posted by: PAl | January 07, 2011 at 09:12 AM
MFB is not insane. He is just an old conservative white man that sticks to his talking points and his ideals. It only looks insane just from its context.
If he were a politician, he could be Speaker of the House in Congress or an "excellent" candidate for President in the Republican Party. His real world experience and having to deal with a "real budget" while always posting a profit, even in troubled times, would make him invaluable to the Tea Party movement. He could single handily destroy Democrats in debates by his talented use of misinterpreted or distorted facts. He would have been a major factor in the health care debates by being able to say, my team practices in the cold and they don't get sick. People would love his hate and his treatment of the "liberal" media. I am sure he lives in a gated community in northern Kentucky just to get out of Ohio's higher tax bracket and estate taxes. MFB is the Republican Party's wet dream.
Instead, he owns and runs a football and everyone hates him b/c he sticks to his conservative values. Ironically the fans want him to be more like the socialist that runs the Pittsburgh team. Mike Brown is just clearly in the wrong business.
Posted by: blesterov | January 07, 2011 at 09:55 AM
Found this on John Thornton's blog:
From former Bengals OL Willie Anderson on Twitter: “Don’t know if I’m late but I just received word no changes on Bengals Staff except Linebackers coach”
http://www.allproblogger.com/2011/01/07/no-changes-on-o/
Yes, Mike Brown is clinically insane.
Posted by: ICEMAN | January 07, 2011 at 10:33 AM
I seen it on jt blog also and there will only be one coach change on the O, and it is NOT Brat. Well guys this is where I draw the line I am no longer fallowing this team I will still come here and talk to you guys. But if somebody asks if I watch football I will say yes, and when asked what my team is I will say I don't have one. Mike Brown has turned my love of this team into a hatred for this team. The Bengal's are now an ex-wife to me if she were on fire I would pee on her just so I could light her on fire again.
EX-fan Rich
Posted by: Rk | January 07, 2011 at 11:01 AM
somebody on this site had the email addresses for Brown and the Blackburns. Can you put that back up so we can all flood there inboxes with discontent. I feel like people will be way more inclined to send an email. Also, we should all agree on a day to do it so it is massive and maybe sends a point which he won't care about. That way we don't have to send the snail mail. We could all send instantly gratifying emails, and at the end assign each email with a number. Then we can send our Bengals gear back with the package being labeled with the same number. (in our emails we should explain the number system to Brown so he doesn't think he is getting free apparel)
Posted by: Neutered Bengal | January 07, 2011 at 11:16 AM
Thank you Neutered Bengal. It would be my pleasure:
Mike.Brown@bengals.nfl.net
Katie.Blackburn@bengals.nfl.net (Executive Vice President)
Troy.Blackburn@bengals.nfl.net (Vice President)
Pete.Brown@bengals.nfl.net (Senior Vice President - Player Personnel)
Paul.Brown@bengals.nfl.net (Vice President - Player Personnel)
John.Sawyer@bengals.nfl.net (Vice President)
Katie has replied to me twice. I often send them links to articles and I'm not at all complimentary, but they deserve it. I've spent too much money and energy on their pathetic work.
Yesterday she explained the I'm a negative person and my 'comfort' of sending emails with little 'decorum' doesn't shine a good light on me. She also said they're optimistic for next year and said they were able to get 371 yards and 395 yards of offense against top 10 Defenses in their last 2 games. I had to explain to her that they went 1-1 in those games. And in the game with 395 yards offense the team scored a grand total of 7 points. SEVEN POINTS.
My favorite though: she said the good thing about football is you get to start anew the next year. HAHAHA that's what I've heard from Bengals fans for the last 20 years "oh well, there's always next year"
Please email these people and explain to them how horrible of a job they're doing. I get the feeling from her emails that she thinks I'm on the extreme fringe, and as a whole Bengal fans are positive and optimistic with the team.
Posted by: vince | January 07, 2011 at 11:37 AM
Can we find out what roger goodell email is?
Posted by: Rk | January 07, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Willie Anderson tweeted that the only person going is the linebacker coach.
When the Bengals win 9 next year due to their ridiculous schedule, they will say we were all wrong and that things are going in the right direction. They probably lie to themselves as much as anyone.
Posted by: Rich | January 07, 2011 at 12:24 PM
If this "news" is true that they are only replacing one of their top position coaches in Fitzgerald, and not replacing Bratkowski. I am going to lose my shit. I support Marvin, but if pussies out and does not fire that dumb ass. He has just found the magic chute to make it to the top of my shit list.
In the meantime I have to hope it is just all speculation at this point. Even PFT hasn't posted anything about it.
Posted by: blesterov | January 07, 2011 at 12:57 PM
That would be so predictably infuriating, and I too, would lose my shit. What a cluster fuck, and at the same time they're now demanding more concessions from the county including a new scoreboard? They HAVE to be insane. Here Mike, let me provide you with a scoreboard, 113-200-1. This is seriously fucked up if it has any merit (both pieces of news).
Posted by: CurseofBoJackson | January 07, 2011 at 01:20 PM
I want to believe that Willie got the wrong info. But deep down, if I'm truly honest with myself, I know that Mike Brown is such a stubborn, F-ed bastard that I believe he is right.
Enjoy your relationship with Bratkowski, Mikey. At this point he's going to be the only friend you've got in this town. And enjoy your empty stadium. You can't flip off an entire fan base and then expect them to pay to watch the shit you put on the field.
I thought there was nothing in this world I could hate more than Duke and Nancy Pelosi. Thanks for taking me to a whole new level, MFB.
Posted by: Major Payne | January 07, 2011 at 02:39 PM
EURICKA I HAVE FOUND IT!!!!
Guys, I was driving downtown yesterday and for some reason thinking about a common post I see on the site. Usually something to the effect of “Can’t we sue Mike Brown“. Well, we all know that was tried by our county commissioners and failed. Then I happen to drive by the site of the new casino for Cincinnati and I came up with a great idea that the casino industry uses to get rid of problems. When I built my casino a few years ago I had to be licensed (just like Ohio is going to require). Why not pass a law that requires professional team sports owners in Cincinnati to have a license? Think about that. The benefits are we can charge a fee for the license and make it renewable.
In New Jersey, part of a gaming license says that you must run a “Classy, clean and desirable operation”. The best part of this is that you do not need our local Politians to enact such a licensing process. All you have to do is collect enough signatures to put it on the ballot and then it is voted on. If it passes, it is a way to collect additional revenue for the stadium funds AND you could deny Mike Brown one based on his failures. The law can even be written in such a way that Mike would be forced to upgrade.
What do you think?
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