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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

Inaugural Post

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January 06, 2011


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I don't even know where to begin. The man is so out of touch it's not even funny anymore.

So let's get this straight: Marv Lewis decided not to return to the bengals, even though he has returned. But you stand by the fact that he decided not to return. OK. And then the other day you were giving credit to Mike Beelzebrown bringing Marv back, even though you stand by your report that Marv decided not to come back. Yet despite giving credit to the Prince of Darkness for bringing Mediocre Marv back, you now say Marv and Mike's news conference the other day was "The Worst Press Conference in Modern History." Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to being bengalized. It happens to even revolutionaries. Here are the symptoms, confusion, dileria, contradictory speech patterns, and an inability to grasp realistic and basic terms in the English language. Even La Who-Dey Revolucian is being bengalized. Strap on the silk gloves, folks, because even this here revolucian page makes about as much sense as Mike Beelzebrown and Mediocre Marv flapping their gums about how they're satisfied with the way the team is performing these days. Pew-dey!
Your most humble and loyal servant,
P.S. I long for the relief death will bring!


They say that in the UK.

It is also a brand of watershoe/sandal

(maybe Mike wears them, or watches a lot of PBS detective shows, and hears on-screen dialog like, "We are keen to catch that yob.").

Oh Mike. “The scouting thing is another criticism that rises up when we don’t do well. If you look at our record on scouting over the last 10 years, we rank 10th for the number of games played by players we drafted". This makes no sense. Why does Mike Brown think 'X number of games played = success?' Using this logic, that means we are the 10th best team at drafting players who are fucking shit for a long time. And we are slow to replace them. Hobson is already preparing to announce Marvin as the winningest coach in Benagls history next season when we reach 5 wins (ha! Such presumption...) by using the same retarded logic.

Wow, thank you for an awesome breakdown of that miserable press conference. All exceptionally valid points.

The comment that drives me most insane is the stat the MB throws out with regards to the scouting department. You're right: this stat is absolutely MEANINGLESS. Who the hell cares if you have the 10th most players on the roster that you drafted? If they are shitty players (which they are), then you've done nothing to improve your team. Many of these guys simply wouldn't make any other NFL rosters. I mean, if you drafted ME and played me at QB, this would still "improve" your team based on that stat - but I can tell you quite clearly, your team would be fucking atrocious if I were playing QB.

This is the fundamental problem that MB has: he doesn't understand how to develop an overarching strategy. Instead, he gets caught up in cost-cutting tactics. The retail comparison is apropos: he runs the Bengals as if they were a commodity good, like they're just a box of #2 pencils. To him, it's all about cutting costs - as long as the product is semi-decent, he'll make a profit. But what he fails to understand is that the NFL is NOT a commodity business - the Patriots and Steelers have figured out that you need a solid strategy to prevail, you can't rely on simple dollars-and-cents tactics to get you anywhere.

Or maybe MB knows all of this and just doesn't give a shit what we think. I think I'd respect him more if that were the case.

This may sound crazy or stupid, but would it be possible for residents of Hamilton county to sue Mike? I don't live in Hamilton county so I don't have much of a legal leg to stand on, but Mike made promises to you residents of Hamilton county if you paid for his stadium. Think a lawyer would take on a class action lawsuit from the county residents?


Just noticed that you beat me to the punch on that stat (10th most games played by players drafted) - I agree, it's totally meaningless. Why won't the press call him out on that? It's literally the one stat he uses to validate his cheap approach to scouting, and yet anyone with half a brain can see how devoid of substance it is.

Regarding the scouting comment. Even if Mikey's stat were legit (which it's not), it's still 10th place. Who the fuck is happy with 10th place?

someone should have asked mikey if he understands how many games he has lost since becoming owner of this team..and if how many losing records it would take before he understands that he needs to hire a general manager

I know the organization needs to be ripped on the press conference, but our moaning does little. The site needs to offer more proactive ideas on boycotting and hurting the finances of the Mike Brown regime. Mike Brown is the Kim Jong Il of the NFL.....When it looks like he is about to falter, he does things to try and appease the fan base. However, has no intention at all of improving, he did the same thing with Marvin. We need to continue the boycott, and we need to continue to send the message to the regime that we are no longer going to stand for it. I think continuing to mail back gear and letters is good, especially since Mike probably thinks he did something really good by getting Lewis back. (He obviously was desperate for him if Marv left the premise and Brown kept calling him like a dumped girlfriend) Also, more media attention needs to be drawn to the amount of fan discontent.

P.S. If Sam Wyche played a role in helping Mike Brown obtain Marv, is Wyche now an enemy of the revolution?

Let's look at the players Mike Brown used as examples of unfortunate circumstances that undermined otherwise good scouting:

1) Pollack - I'll give him this one. Looked to be a great player, suffered a very unfortunate, freak accident. Moving along...

2) Chris Perry - when he wasn't injured he was still FRICKIN' TERRIBLE. We used a first rounder on this guy. We traded out of a spot where we could have had Steven Jackson. This is maybe the worst draft pick in the last decade, regardless of injuries.

3) Odell Thurman & Chris Henry - I'll take these two together because they are similar. Talented players that had SERIOUS red flags going into the draft that caused other teams to drop them off their draft boards. We took a chance and we got bit in the ass.

3 out of the 4 picks he mentions to defend his scouting department were just plain bad picks that no excuse can make up for.

Haha, you guys have to check this out. It's an article on about all the possible scenarios with the new overtime rules. I'm posting it here cause in the middle he takes a random break just to talk about how horrible the Bengals press conference was. He even calls Mikey Boy "borderline delusional." Go here and check out scenario 8:
I guess it's good to know that we're not the only ones who realize that MB is full of it.

Rob F., thanks! That espn article is right on! :-)

To those who call Mike B's stat "meaningless", I'd go one step further and say that it is actually contrary to his point!

Being high on the list of teams who have played their own draftees while consistantly LOSING does NOT mean your scouting department is good! It means it sucks!

As I watched parts of the press conference dumbfounded I thought, this dude has just enough braincells to support life.

yeah all it means is that you play the guys you draft...thats it...if he was trying to say, we are good at playing the people we draft, he'd be just doesnt say a goddamn thing about how good the scouting is. he could say the same thing if he randomly picked people off the street, put them in bengals uniforms and put them in the game...

mike:"hey were 1st in the league in the number of players we found on the street."
some press guy: "uh sir you havent won a game in 5 years..."
mike: "..first in the league!"

Every time someone mentions Mikey's stat @ players still in the league my boss ask the same question; "how many made all pro?"
A question for older Revolutionaries; Considering the way Sam W was either fired or quit does it seem odd that while Marvin was on his way home after talks broke down that Sam just "happened" to call Marvin?
Gut feeling says someone in the front office called Sam and then Sam called Marvin w/ the just be patient message.

He doesnt see a problem. He doesn't feel he has to change anything. He defended everything he does. He also just told all of us that we're not a consideration to him in any way.

We didn't get any change from Mike

Mike won't get any change ($$$) from us

Mike Brown

No change = No change($$$)

All we can do is withhold our support and money.

JM --

This: "No change = No change($$$)" should be the credo that ALL Bengals fans live by when talking to/about Mike Brown. Well done.

This slogan should be on the new Billboards in the city, should be in letters/packages sent to the Front Office, and should be the newest product in the "Fire Bratkowski" Fashion Line.

Second Ed's backing of JM's slogan, great thought, and great idea for application of said thought.


And how about this one: No Sense = No Dollars ($$$)

Ancient Chinese Proverb Say:

If blind man try to tell you color, cut off his tongue.
If he try to paint you picture, cut off his hands.
If he still try to sell you season ticket, he must be Mike Brown.

thinking about it, Mikey is right, the bengals dont need an indoor practice facility. Most Decembers are pretty mild in Cincy, and the bad weather doesnt usually happen here til January/Feb. The bengals dont play in those months, so it would be a waste of time/money etc. Winning teams play in those months, and that isnt a description of Mike Brown's team.

NEVER going to change.


Where do I mail back all of my Bengals apparel to? Mike Brown needs to wake up with a horse head in his bed....

from willie anderson twitter:

Don't know if I'm late but I just received word no changes on Bengals Staff except Linebackers coach

Ditto, JM came up with another good slogan

( No Change = No Change($$$) )

A previous JM slogan was good too

( the 'You don't care / You don't try / You don't spend...Why should we? )


"The only sellout you'll enjoy in 2011


Your head coach!"

I want a Marvin the Martian T-Shirt, but with Marvin Lewis' face,

with a caption that reads:

"PBS? I'm going to blow it up!!!"


"Re-signing cut players makes me *very* angry (breathes heavily)"


PS The Dixonator's signature end-quote would also make a good T-shirt slogan, maybe even in an orange-and-black scheme:

"PS I long for the relief death will bring!" lol

That said, I also long for the relief death will bring The Dixonator
(since he puts it that way)

I've been telling my friends for years that I thought Mike Brown was certifiably insane. On top of that, a delusional asshole. That press conference confirms it.

MFB is not insane. He is just an old conservative white man that sticks to his talking points and his ideals. It only looks insane just from its context.

If he were a politician, he could be Speaker of the House in Congress or an "excellent" candidate for President in the Republican Party. His real world experience and having to deal with a "real budget" while always posting a profit, even in troubled times, would make him invaluable to the Tea Party movement. He could single handily destroy Democrats in debates by his talented use of misinterpreted or distorted facts. He would have been a major factor in the health care debates by being able to say, my team practices in the cold and they don't get sick. People would love his hate and his treatment of the "liberal" media. I am sure he lives in a gated community in northern Kentucky just to get out of Ohio's higher tax bracket and estate taxes. MFB is the Republican Party's wet dream.

Instead, he owns and runs a football and everyone hates him b/c he sticks to his conservative values. Ironically the fans want him to be more like the socialist that runs the Pittsburgh team. Mike Brown is just clearly in the wrong business.

Found this on John Thornton's blog:

From former Bengals OL Willie Anderson on Twitter: “Don’t know if I’m late but I just received word no changes on Bengals Staff except Linebackers coach”

Yes, Mike Brown is clinically insane.

I seen it on jt blog also and there will only be one coach change on the O, and it is NOT Brat. Well guys this is where I draw the line I am no longer fallowing this team I will still come here and talk to you guys. But if somebody asks if I watch football I will say yes, and when asked what my team is I will say I don't have one. Mike Brown has turned my love of this team into a hatred for this team. The Bengal's are now an ex-wife to me if she were on fire I would pee on her just so I could light her on fire again.

EX-fan Rich

somebody on this site had the email addresses for Brown and the Blackburns. Can you put that back up so we can all flood there inboxes with discontent. I feel like people will be way more inclined to send an email. Also, we should all agree on a day to do it so it is massive and maybe sends a point which he won't care about. That way we don't have to send the snail mail. We could all send instantly gratifying emails, and at the end assign each email with a number. Then we can send our Bengals gear back with the package being labeled with the same number. (in our emails we should explain the number system to Brown so he doesn't think he is getting free apparel)

Thank you Neutered Bengal. It would be my pleasure: (Executive Vice President) (Vice President) (Senior Vice President - Player Personnel) (Vice President - Player Personnel) (Vice President)

Katie has replied to me twice. I often send them links to articles and I'm not at all complimentary, but they deserve it. I've spent too much money and energy on their pathetic work.

Yesterday she explained the I'm a negative person and my 'comfort' of sending emails with little 'decorum' doesn't shine a good light on me. She also said they're optimistic for next year and said they were able to get 371 yards and 395 yards of offense against top 10 Defenses in their last 2 games. I had to explain to her that they went 1-1 in those games. And in the game with 395 yards offense the team scored a grand total of 7 points. SEVEN POINTS.

My favorite though: she said the good thing about football is you get to start anew the next year. HAHAHA that's what I've heard from Bengals fans for the last 20 years "oh well, there's always next year"

Please email these people and explain to them how horrible of a job they're doing. I get the feeling from her emails that she thinks I'm on the extreme fringe, and as a whole Bengal fans are positive and optimistic with the team.

Can we find out what roger goodell email is?

Willie Anderson tweeted that the only person going is the linebacker coach.

When the Bengals win 9 next year due to their ridiculous schedule, they will say we were all wrong and that things are going in the right direction. They probably lie to themselves as much as anyone.

If this "news" is true that they are only replacing one of their top position coaches in Fitzgerald, and not replacing Bratkowski. I am going to lose my shit. I support Marvin, but if pussies out and does not fire that dumb ass. He has just found the magic chute to make it to the top of my shit list.

In the meantime I have to hope it is just all speculation at this point. Even PFT hasn't posted anything about it.

That would be so predictably infuriating, and I too, would lose my shit. What a cluster fuck, and at the same time they're now demanding more concessions from the county including a new scoreboard? They HAVE to be insane. Here Mike, let me provide you with a scoreboard, 113-200-1. This is seriously fucked up if it has any merit (both pieces of news).

I want to believe that Willie got the wrong info. But deep down, if I'm truly honest with myself, I know that Mike Brown is such a stubborn, F-ed bastard that I believe he is right.

Enjoy your relationship with Bratkowski, Mikey. At this point he's going to be the only friend you've got in this town. And enjoy your empty stadium. You can't flip off an entire fan base and then expect them to pay to watch the shit you put on the field.

I thought there was nothing in this world I could hate more than Duke and Nancy Pelosi. Thanks for taking me to a whole new level, MFB.


Guys, I was driving downtown yesterday and for some reason thinking about a common post I see on the site. Usually something to the effect of “Can’t we sue Mike Brown“. Well, we all know that was tried by our county commissioners and failed. Then I happen to drive by the site of the new casino for Cincinnati and I came up with a great idea that the casino industry uses to get rid of problems. When I built my casino a few years ago I had to be licensed (just like Ohio is going to require). Why not pass a law that requires professional team sports owners in Cincinnati to have a license? Think about that. The benefits are we can charge a fee for the license and make it renewable.

In New Jersey, part of a gaming license says that you must run a “Classy, clean and desirable operation”. The best part of this is that you do not need our local Politians to enact such a licensing process. All you have to do is collect enough signatures to put it on the ballot and then it is voted on. If it passes, it is a way to collect additional revenue for the stadium funds AND you could deny Mike Brown one based on his failures. The law can even be written in such a way that Mike would be forced to upgrade.

What do you think?

The silver lining in this continuing Bullis Charter School fiasco is that they never did get the primary thing they wanted: a location for their school in Los Altos Hills.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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