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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Forget Marvin, Chad Johnson Now Coming After Mike Brown | Main | Who Wants to Become Our Next Tenured Offensive Coordinator? »

January 31, 2011

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1.) From Hob's article on Bengals.com "It is believed that is going to be the only change on an offensive staff that has taken the bulk of the heat for the Bengals' 4-12 season and indications are it is going to be an outside hire."

If there's something to that, they're not looking to move Zampese up...which I think is the right move. He'd just be Brat, Jr. Even if the new O.C. ultimately gets Bengalized, it'd be nice to see a few seasons with a fresh mind in charge of the offense....which could also possibly bring Carson back to his pro-bowler form again. Which brings me to...

2.) I think this is a sign that negotiations are underway with Carson to keep him around. MFB didn't want to make a move on Brat. Carson said I'm outta here come hell or high water, so MFB went to the table in damage control mode to try to change his QB's mind. Carson said it's either me or Brat. I take this as a sign that Carson will be back in the striped #9 jersey again next season.

To answer a couple of your questions:

--I agree that Zampese/Sheppard are frontrunners, but Hobson at the mother site, says it looks to be an outside hire. They very well could have been grooming Zampese by letting him call the plays at the Senior Bowl, or they were just plain fed up with Brat's lack of success in that particular game.

--While I think that Palmer likes Brat being gone, I don't think he'd like Sheppard or Zampese promoted. He'll probably want someone else from the outside. Given that they usually capitulate to Carson's demands (see Palmer, Jordan), I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he was involved in the hiring of another OC, or if the new OC has a West Coast/USC connection.

-- I don't know why Brat stayed for the last month. It sucks that he did because other hot OC candidates (McDaniels) have since been hired. My thought is that the Senior Bowl finally proved his incompetence to Mikey.

Mike kept him so when they promote one of our guys he can say that there was no better pick out there.

Happy fucking days are here again.

I'm thinking dire season ticket returns and the fact that Marvin looked ready to murder someone at the end of the senior bowl are big reasons in the thinking behind Bratkowski's firing.

also

THANK YOU BASED GOD

Jim Zorn, Norm Chow (isn't he like 90) those are my two outside picks. I hold little hope that Hob is speaking the truth about this hire though. My money is on Zampese. Hope I'm wrong and Carson is calling the shots. Carson for GM in 2014.

I will be the new OC for this team. I have been practicing on Tecmo Bowl and I have to say I'm pretty good. So come buy those tickets y'all... Mikey Boy's gonna burn up the league!

still can't believe it took a MONTH to do this

Too little, Too late. One coach, one player who cares? It still is the same ownership running the same organization the way they seem fit. I know it is something which is better than nothing, but it ain't much.

Although, this could be an opportunity in that the defensive line coach understands scheming against an offense on a weekly basis so maybe they could switch him to offensive coordinator and he could use his vast knowledge of what it takes to beat a defense that schemes against them to beat.

Crazy eh, but it might just work. Carson please tell MFB to shove it and retire.

Let's not start sucking each other off just yet. Brown wrote the book on taking one step forward and two steps back,and this gimme 43 million is the first step.
Brown is really good at misdirection, hey look over here guys! I fired Brat! ...ahem...(under his breath) I'm gonna need 43 Million." I dont care if PBS looks as run down as the roman colosseum, losers dont get Millions. Ask a Steelers fan for money for a stadium fix, and they will gladly empty there bank accounts and give you their first born children for free labor. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE WINNERS.
Besides, you cant believe Hobson, he's retarded (yes I meant that to be offensive), watch it be Zampese.
My boycott is going on 3 years strong now...I wont even by Bengals printed Napkins for a grill out...I wish the rest of you people would wise the hell up.

Oh, joy, another "more fed up than you" fan. Please join the line on your left and START READING WHAT PEOPLE POST ON HERE - you're not a unique snowflake there, sunshine. We're all fed up.

I watch and don't spend a dime on this team not even to the sponcers.

The rest of you people? Where the hell have you been chachi? Did you mean to post that on Hob's blog comments section? Pretty misplaced here, FAIL. Here is something that is meant to be offensive too... FUUUUCK YOOOOUU. How bout that you retard. Hahaha, no seriously, you're joking witht hat shit right?

Who gives a fuck Mike Brown still owns and runs the team. SAME OLD SAME OLD

Conventional wisdom says that no one good would want to come here. But hell, if you can be completely inept and last 10 years, why not give the old Queen City a try? MFB doesn't fire coaches unless he has to. Job security in an industry where one bad season could mean your job.

Hmmmm....long time coming, yes...but, I am watching, as they like to say these days, with "cautious optimism."

MB is still running the ship, so I wouldn't celebrate TOO soon. But, it will be nice to (hopefully) not see "pass, pass, run, punt" every play anymore. We can only pray.....

Viva la Revolucion!! Now only 957 things left to fix.

Just wait for the bombshell - Mike Brown will hire himself as the new OC. He will show the fans who knows what about football. After all it's in his blood. Long live Mike "shared revenue" Brown

If that's the case Wyatt, why are people still doing the same thing they've been doing for years...buying tickets and gear with reckless abandon? Apparently not everyone is fed up, genius. P.S. Go fuck yourself...

It's time to learn some grammar, CurseofBoJackson, you sound like trash (which i am sure isn't to far from the truth. That way I can at least take what you write with a little respect. Yeah, the rest of those people that whine and complain, yet still buy into a severely broken system. How does an organization make more money than the Steelers, yet only win 4 games? By being supported by an uneducated fan base that is blinded by false hopes and misdirected last acts of desperation strategically planned to keep the fan base just as dumb as it has always been. If you ask me, enough isn't being done to boycott this fucking ass hat. It's written on the sad drunken faces of the tailgating fans wearing their hundred dollar Chris Henry Jersey's. You'd be surprised how many people come to this site that are still ticket holders.

Mike Brown has said he will be the new OC and that the offense will be based more on Super Tecmo bowl rather than Tecmo Bowl. That my friends is change.

Fed,

You are never going to be able to get everyone to boycott the team that is just not realistic. Since this is the best way to hit MFB where it hurts, we are all frustrated by this. Remember that the majority of individuals in this country are not adequately educated, which is why people still continue to debate whether the WWE is real or staged.

Regarding Brat, this is great news. Let's just hope that this is a sign of things to come with Marvin's new contract extension. To finally have control over his staff was rumored to be one of his issues with MFB. It will be interesting to see who they bring in as OC. If they hire within, I would think that would indicate MFB is running the show still (since he loves continuity). If they hire a well qualified guy from the outside, most likely Marvin is calling the shot.

Thank you blester...28 years of my life, and it is so not even worth it. I don't know why I even get so pissed anymore...

Quick thought: Yay!

Longer thought: Maybe Marvin and Carson managed to pressure Brown after all. Nah.

Last thought: Fans are finally threatening Brown's wallet, so he made one concession. Threatening Brown's wallet works. Don't give in. Don't put a dime in his pocket until he hires a GM.

Hey, sunshine, you're still not unique. And if you were going for "edgy" with that "PS Go fuck yourself", you missed your mark there too. Maybe you missed it, but if you're looking to bitch to Bengals fans that still go to games and buy merchandise, you need to go to www.bengals.com or www.cincyjungle.com or something like that. There are still a few season ticket holders and merch buyers on this site, but they are in the vast minority and are routinely mocked at every occasion. You coming here and bitching about the rest of us being too fanboyish is akin to the whole "gother than thou" thing (as it was explained to me, the goal of every goth is to be more goth than the other goths around them), but instead of being a pasty douchebag in ridiculous clothes, you just come across like an obnoxious douche (which I'm sure isn't too far from the truth).

PS - if you're trying to insult CurseofBoJackson for his grammar, you should probably make sure YOUR grammar is on-point (which it wasn't). Not only did you use the wrong to/two/too (you used "to" when you wanted "too"), you also never closed your parentheses. So yeah, congratulations on that. With wch surprisingly quiet lately, you're jockeying for the top of the leaderboard for WDR's official douchebag. Not bad for a rookie.

Wyatt, I thought the same thing reading Fed's post. Who the F rips on grammar anymore on a blog and why try to preach here? I had to give a Marvin chuckle when I read about the official d-bag award. BTW, where is that d-bag wch? I guess he hasn't been able to use his standard post about nothing mattering and MFB doing whatever he wants.

All I can say is Fuck Bratkowski, you guys need to send all of your Fire Bratkowski shirts back to MFB and tell him that's not a bad start, but don't stop!

Actually, Marc, I'll admit to mocking grammar on here all the time, but at least I have proper grammar when I do it. And generally I have other arguments too, that's like the mocking icing on the condescension cake. I guess it's just a by-product of arguing with Steelers fans 90% of the time I'm arguing. They don't accept anything even remotely approaching logic, so I have to resort to mocking them for being stupid. I'm working on taming it here, but sometimes it's deserved.

Apparently coming here to vent your frustrations makes you the target for a slew of "holier than thou" ass bags. I made the mistake of assuming I was among kindred spirits. This must be another forum for I am glad this was the first time I had to post my anger...nice to know people here share your rage at your lifelong love for a god awful organization, that'll never pay back that dedication. No wait, instead fellow Bengals fans make up very weird names (snowflake and sunshine, WTF are you, a gay hippie?)in a truly sad attempt to seam "edgy". Perhaps you should turn the judgemental "edgy" knife (knives are goth, right?) back towards yourself starlight(rainbow, morning dew, sundrops or whatever "hipster lingo" you use to plump up your over-inflated ego) before you call someone else edgy.
P.S. Did you like how I brought your sexuality into question? I thought that was wonderfully childish...and as far as trying to be edgy with the "Go Fuck Yourself". I wasn't trying to be edgy, I really want you to go fuck yourself. seems fairly simple...don't look to hard into it...

Oh yeah, and I apologize for the grammar thing. Admittedly it is hard to check all your grammar on these damn phones. It was more a knock at the fact that Bo Jackson's comment towards me sounded like it was written in ebonics by a piece of ghetto trash. Given the way he came off sounding...well, I just call it like I see it.

...Just waitin' to see what's said when it's third an fourteen on the 48 yard line and the Bengals run an inside draw! Who are they going to blame it on then? Will Marvin say he made the call or will he finally say that MBMBB called it?

Hah! another move for the Koolaid drinkers to hang their hats on!


I like what Todd Portune said, regarding the 43mil that the Mike Brown Co. wants...Todd Portune basically said that he was offended and that any taxpayer should be offended by that expectation


You know, this latest bit of news really makes those "Fire Bratkowski" shirts all the more relevant...

Does anybody think it's time to put those away? I don't...they're like holiday greetings


I know

MFB's current list of candidates to replace the Bratkowski are:

1. Frank Caliendo as John Madden (maybe fans will think it's the REAL John Madden!)
2. The AS-400 from the movie War Games (that computer was smart! and at nearly 30 years old ought to sell for dirt cheap!)
3. The funny dog from Beverly Hills Chihuahua (doggies make Mikey feel happy.)
4. Bernie Kosar

To the gent by the name of Fuck off hippy or whatever: snowflakes are well known for their uniqueness. Surely you've heard that no two snowflakes are the same? Perhaps you were confused by my spelling of 'two' there, sorry sunshine. PS In Britain many men use 'sunshine' as a masculine form of address, as in "oi sunshine, you're nicked". Didn't you watch The Sweeney? Maybe you were too busy painting your 'Jesus hates Faggots and Hippies' placard at the time? Finally, please direct any opprobrium to those that fully deserve it i.e. Bengals management and not the intelligent and undeserved chaps at WDR. Ta muchly.

ghetto trash? Grammar? Sorry, I write quickly on BLOG COMMENTS SECTIONS, not looking to get an A from SWB. You're late to the party, you attempted to lump WRD readers in a pool with season tix holders, and you deserved the scorn you received. Fuck you too you high horse riding asshat.

DB07 I always wondered why my old boss nigel from england (ps don't call him british when he is drinking) called me sunshine and love asking me howsyafava when I would come in to work.

@Fed Up,

You are posting on a site that, if nothing else, implores fellow fans to boycott Mike Brown. The commenters are mixed bunch, but by and large, they share your frustrations with the organization and to a varying degree they have pledged to boycott, as well. When you say "I wish the rest of you people would wise the hell up", you are preaching to the choir.

Preaching to the choir is fine. We've all done it. But you're ALSO being a dick. And you were called out for it. It's as simple as that.

After being called out, instead of walking back your remarks a little bit, you doubled down. Criticizing grammar is the last refuge of internet posters everywhere, and it just makes you come off worse than you already do.

Anyway, this is for you. You've earned it:

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/153799/there-he-is

Matt C nailed it. Fed Up either struggles with reading comprehension (maybe you should try visiting the site *only* in a browser and not on your phone) or a complete disconnect with anything approaching reality. Either way, the first post I think anyone's recognized of him on here, he calls the rest of us out as ticket and merchandise buyers - that's strike 1. Then he takes CurseofBoJackson to task for poor grammar while have terrible grammar himself - that's strike 2. And then trying to play the sympathy card "oh apparently coming here to vent among kindred spirits makes you a target", in spite of the fact that your first post said "I wish YOU PEOPLE (emphasis mine) would wise up", which clearly means you not only didn't consider us kindred spirits, you also considered yourself to be better than us - that's strike 3.

You should probably change you comment name (again), and try the whole thing all over again.

PS - you sure do question people's sexuality a lot (considering the first phrase of your first post had to do with the rest of us sucking each other off and it only devolved from there) - is that to cover up feelings of sexual confusion on your part? Also, at no point in any of his comments did CurseofBoJackson come across as being either uneducated or particularly beholden to ebonics, so we can probably add "deep-seated racism" to your list of charming qualities. Did your parents not hug you enough as a child?

Curious that you label me as the dick, when after I posted I was the one scolded and attacked by my "fellow frustrated fans". Keep going Spartacus, whip the other morons into a frenzy, if it makes you feel better. Perhaps in my anger at the obvious smoke and mirrors tactic that was the firing of that incompetent sack of crap. I should have put these people instead of you people and for that I'm sorry. Apparently if you don't fall in line here, you will be ostracized. Keep enjoying the losing seasons together, people. you obviously all deserve each other. This site is obvious no longer about open opinions, its about your opinion doesn't count. Sad. Now I see why we will never be contenders. The majority of their fans can't even see the common ground with each other, they fall behind Hitler and Goebbels on here and start the blitzkrieg. You guys also take apologies really well, perhaps I should STOP trying to add civility by saying I'M SORRY for my mistakes (which no one seems to notice I've done)and just tell you to go suck it. And yes the grammar attack on CurseofBlowJackson may have been a little uncouth, but I notice how no one said," Hey Bo...the FUUUUUCKKK YOOOOUUUU was kinda uncalled for." All this forum has done has open my eyes. I guess I had mistaken this site for a "revolution". I used to come here and really enjoy this place it made me feel hopeful that people were as pissed as I was, but I think your should change the name to whodeydegradation instead. Congratulations, your sad revolution just got one less stronger. And to those that deserve it (NOT BO) I am very sorry, I spoke originally out of anger.

Jeez, you know you're fucked in an argument when you have to pull out the Hitler and Goebbels card.

"whip the other morons into a frenzy" Further condescension in the misdt of "further apologies." Of which I see none until your last post, although you claim otherwise (just for clarification, I aint aksin for no apology ferm u).
"This site is obvious no longer about open opinions, its about your opinion doesn't count" Nobody said your opinion didn't count, you were lambasted because you lumped the readers here in with the lemmings at the box office on a site that encourages (if NOTHING else) boycotting ticket and merch sales. You onviously feel the same way that most of us do about the FO, and rightfully so, but the words you chose to express it with (apparently mistakenly) were poorly chosen, and again, for that you got hit. And to repeat what a few others have said, instead of re reading and owning up, you chose to condescend further, results were similar. Let me please apologize for my foul mouthed rebut directed at your (mistakenly) soap boxy comment at the end of your first post, I was offended (as I should have been), and perhaps should have reserved judgement, but I didn't, not really how I've historically worked. I'm sorry also for the repetetive use of parentheses, that is hstorically my style.... Homey.

And since I'm rolling, let me say (on topic) that I would be pretty happey given the choices out there, for Norm Chow to be the hire, or Jim Zorn (who Joe Flacco apparently liked and went to bat for before he got the axe in Balt), and the cat from Seattle (Stephens?) may be a good fit for an offense in need of some discipline, especially on the line and in the WR corps. My realistic guess though? Mike SHeppard, Zampese, or some scrub no one has ever heard of that is Mike's fourth cousin or something from the University of Maine.

I can't believe this guy is *still* trying to play the martyr card. He came on here, insulted the regulars as a group by insinuating that group fellatio was being performed, condescended that we should be more like him by following the FIRST FUCKING RULE OF WHODEYREVOLUTION, and then, after it was pointed out that perhaps he save his venom for another message board where the people who drew his ire congregated, began attacking regulars on a person-to-person basis, including racial superiority-based condescension. Jesus you ain't, friend, so save your martyr bit for someone else, somewhere else.

Am I suggesting you leave this blog? Nope.

Am I suggesting you try a re-introductory post with more information about yourself and a much-improved attitude? Yup.

Would an apology for not taking the time to read more than one post on this site and attacking its regulars out of self-motivated ignorance be in order? Absolutely.


Rats; leave it to the Fed to stop us all from sucking each other off

I hear they don't like it when we print our own currency either


Goebbels sounds like a brand of beer,
or maybe a department store as in:

I'm sorry; we don't carry that here at Macy's, but I think *Goebbels* does; they're right down the street..."

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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