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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« It Doesn't Have To Be This Way | Main | Don't Underestimate Yourself, You're A Tremendous Slouch »

December 14, 2010


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Link doesn't work...

@JJJ- link fixed now.

Brilliant. However, I think the measures need to be more drastic. When is the next project mayhem? How about a mass call for every disgruntled fan to draft a similar letter. I think copying Peter King is a great idea. Eventually, he will discuss the letters in MMQB...

That being said, Mike Brown is a fucking retard and I'm sick and tired of his shit.

Great letter, but I agree with JJJ, this will do nothing to change the mind of The World's Most Stubborn Man. I don't wish death upon too many people, but I do to Mike Brown and the Khardashians!

This sounds like a good idea for the next Project Mayhem, and it would be of no cost to WDR. I have plenty of Bengals apparel that I am willing to part with the show the Brown family that I am done supporting this god-awful team.

Outstanding, JM.

In other news, Bo-Bo says that Carson will bounce back. So obviously there is nothing to worry about. Everything is going to be just fine.

Excuse me while I go vomit.

I wonder how many signatures WDR could get on a petition asking for change/threaten to boycott as JM is doing. By the way who the hell does JM mail that too. Is the mailing address Paul Brown Stadium, if anyone knows I would gladly mail my Bengals shit.

I think getting people in the media aware of this would help big time.

Peter King, ESPN, Chris Collisnworth, Boomer (who doesn't hide his feelings on this franchise)

There has to be something that can be done to draw NATIONAL attention. Letters like this are a great start. Great letter. That's exactly how all of us (should) feel.


VERY well written, pointed and accurate, LOVE it. If only Mike cared......

Good job, JM. Just yesterday I suggested under the WDR article titled "Pathetic" that, as a "Project Mayhem task", Bengals fans send in their merchandise to management--either recently purchased items or even items that are memorabilia of past failed draft picks. I'm thinking of sending some merch in along with a letter and state in that letter that the ONLY piece of merchandise I am keeping is my Boomer Esiason jersey as it is a symbol of Bengals success and it is also a symbol of the "Pre-Mike Brown era".
A personal side note to JM: I am going to do everything in my power to circulate this article, your idea and letter around, both to people I know and to various media outlets, if possible. Again, kudos to you--I, too, am an "out-of-state Bengals fan", have traveled to multiple states (including Cincinnati, OH, though I was born and raised on the West Coast) and have spent thousands of dollars on these trips and merchandise. I applaud you for taking this initiative, as I know parting with some of your merch might have been painful. Again, I urge Bengal fans to start looking at pleading with the Blackburns. I really think that Mike Brown is too thick-skulled and obstinate to make any changes at this point, whereas there may be a little more hope with Katie and Troy.

P.S. If I ever meet the poster who calls herself "wch", I'm going to knock her teeth out like chiclets. You know I can--have you seen me officiate games on Sundays in my short-sleeve zebra tee? Watch out for the guns--they'll get ya.

Don't be surprised when the crap you send back to Mike Brown-stain shows up on the discount rack of the souvenir shop at PBS.....

I mailed it to:
Attn: Bengals Management
1 Paul Brown Stadium
Cincinnati OH 45202-3418

I mailed a copy of the letter to:
NFL Headquarters
Attn: Mr. Roger Goodell
280 Park Avenue 15th floor
New York, NY 10017

Peter King is the guy I would most like to engage. I have emailed his link on SI every week for the last month. He has Cincinnati ties, and national exposure. I'm hoping some sympathy as well.

I'm really done this time. I don't care if they win a playoff game in 11, if MFB is still in control my actions stand. We have got to find a way in the next few weeks, before the season ends to publicly let it be known that strike or not we are not coming back for any future version of "MFB's Cincinnati Bungles".

I know times are tight but I would spare some bucks for a public and visual display that would grab headlines, billboard, or full page ad.

I know mike is the owner but lets go over his head can we find out what roger goodell email and mailing address is we send the bengals stuff to him and flood his email adress with letters of discust for the team.

I wish JM would have had someone proofread his letter. There are several instances of incorrect punctuation and awkward sentences. Unfortunately, it distracts the reader just enough that the message ends up muted because they are too busy saying "why is that comma there" or "that's not how you use an apostrophe". It is easy to ignore poorly written letters, so it probably will not be acknowledged by the likes of Peter King and Roger Goodell unless they start coming in mass numbers.

I also think the next project mayhem should be conducted during the Charger game.

"the reverse Corey Dillon"

When Corey was done he chucked his gear into the stands.


Everyone should layer up with a few extra shirts or hats, peel them off one by one and start chucking them toward the field. Upper deck down to lower deck, lower deck onto the field.

It would get attention, it's unprecedented, like the unprecedented losing of Mike Brown's Bungles.

Or pile them up in the parking lot. I'm sure a 6'tall pile of orange and black gear would still get exposure.

Offensive Liability:

I saw some grammatical errors as well, but come on. Posts like yours are what take away the the credibility of this site and lead to fellow Bengals fans bickering with each other. Though the letter was a big part of the idea, the biggest statement JM made was with the merchandise itself. Give the guy some credit--he did something that the VAST majority of Bengals fans would not do, which is give up their prized merchandise that they paid good money for.

Hmm! Interesting dichotomy there. I would think that MB is probably sayin': To me, JW's money IS shit! I think I can do without.

Maybe, JW would have been better in finding a place that could wash clothes safely in bleach to rid the stain of M "Montgomery Burns" B's Bengals and then give it all to charity? Oh but that might be bad form because I think there are a great many beggars and homeless people out that that'd probably want to croak before they would allow the patheticness of the Bengals perform any Karmic transfer on to them!

Seriously though? Why not hold a charity drive and collect all Bengal shit -- alert the media so they KNOW that MBB isn't the one who came up with this idea (and thereby usurp the situation; take credit etc.).

It would be a good way to show not only locals but the entire nation as to how pathetic MBB and his team are, force the NFL to stuff a fuckin' sock in it (thank's Stewey!) and help people in need. A win, win, win situation!

Oh how it would stick it to MBB, but it also would make that 'bag' Roger Gooddell sit and spin... ...I mean, think about it? You know he isn't going to do anything to piss off MBB but on the other hand, he can't demand that NFL 'properties' (bought privately and for private use and they can't say DICK about it!) be used in a way that's not deterimental towards the league etc. -- he is NOT going to crack down on Bengals 'opponents' at the expense of being labled a piece of shit NFL bureaucrat who doesn't care about the homeless etc.

Basically, if ya start this (I would contribute -- except, I am not an idiot and I don't possess any Bengals shit -- never did, never will), make sure the media knows it. Don't accept stuff from other teams or let the NFL get on-board with donations etc as they will take over my idea and your actions. Make this Bengals only -- and absolute!

Everyone should send their old Bengals gear to the local port-a-potty to use as spare toilet paper. That would get some attention.

If someone starts a clothing drive I'm all in.
Something I've done that cost nothing. On some Game Days I still hang my Bengals banner outside using the International Sign of Distress
It hangs Upside Down.
Recently purchased a Bengals logo license plate (I'm a sinner, Mikey gets a cut of it from state of OH)
Plate reads: B ummer
I pass Mikey's street every morning; usually have him behind me couple mornings a yr, can't wait till next time he is behind me at stop sign in IH. Will spend long time making sure intersection is clear before proceeding.


I apologize, I actually had a sentence in my post saying I agree with the sentiment and thought it could be a good launchpad, but I went to move it and I guess I forgot to put it back in; my mistake.

I wasn't trying to take away any credibility, or even be rude for that matter. I'm the first to get annoyed at message board herp-derp, so I was trying to be critical without being a douchebag (I guess I failed). I thought the letter itself was very well constructed, but it could have been great if he just would have given it to someone who would have said "that sentence is weird, try this".

For an example of the aforementioned "message board herp-derp", see wch's post above...or any of his posts for that matter.

I sent two copies of the letter to WDR. The copy that is on the site was a scanned first draft.

With the second draft (the copy I signed and eventually mailed to MFB) I sent the following note to brosef Stalin:

"I made a couple of corrections. Some of the gents who post on the site are more worried about the grammar than they are pissed at our crappy organization"

Lol, as predictable as a Bratkowski 1st and 10 call.

Offensive Liability: I wasn't calling you a douche bag. The mere fact that you owned up to your post and the fact that it was initially diplomatic in nature makes it totally fine. I see what you were saying. For some reason "herp derp" was really funny to me. Reminded me of "Derka Derka" from the movie "Team America: World Police". And yes, as I mentioned in my first post sometime up, wch is a 16-year-old Homecoming Queen on her rag. She better beware Hochuli's bulging biceps.

JM: Glad to hear it got cleaned up at the end and hilarious observation about the WDR posters here. Again, good job with the letter.

Excellent letter, I could feel the venom spewing through my computer.

My only concern about sending merchandise back the Mikey without getting cash in return is that he will take the opportunity to either resell it (cash for Mikey) or give it to charity and take the tax deduction for it (cash for Mikey).

I say donate the merchandise to charity and take the tax deduction (cash for you) or burn it and send Mikey a picture of it.


Then why even bother posting the draft and not the final copy? What's the point of that? And then to get snarky about it and say it's predictable...well...if it was so predictable, why not avoid the problem all together and just send one final draft? It seems counterproductive at best; at worst, it shows you in a not-so-flattering light.

OMG I just happened to see, 'Hoculi' wants to hurt me by knocking my "chiclet's" out. I would rhetorically ask: "Why?" but it just might confuse him to do so.

Anyway, I usually don't respond back to someone but in this case I will: Marc wrote: "Great letter, but I agree with JJJ, this will do nothing to change the mind of The World's Most Stubborn Man. I don't wish death upon too many people, but I do to Mike Brown and the Khardashians!"

Herein lies a problem, MBB isn't 'stubborn' (unless you call stubborn a person who refuses to do what the other like him do and that he can't afford to do as a small market team.) As I have said before, what needs to be figured out is what motivates Mikey Boy? Is it money? In part, yes! But only to the point that the money totals in the end make for a positive that MBB can hold up and show everyone how good of a business man he is. Don't let him lose money because he'd probably implode.

That being said, he knows that right now, he can't lose money. Again as stated before, he does NOT NEED one single butt in the stands and he can still be (what he is almighty slaving to) PROFITBALE! So now, the only thing that he can get to 'challenge' him is how bad he can stick it to the city/county etc. For ALL of the years remaining on his lease, he will be profitable even if no one shows up.

Add that to the fact that there is nothing in the By-Laws that the NFL could use to exert pressure on MBB to do any thing that they want. He knows he has to maintain certain standards regarding things like opposing lockerrom equipments etc. There is nothing that says that he has to shovel refuse up after every game or he will lose the team -- nothing. Now, he may have a problem with that in terms of dealing with the city and it's health-codes, but again, that isn't something that the NFL can enforce on him. In fact, aside from breaking a contract (to wit, I don't know what he is responsible for contractually with the NFL), the NFL can't do anything to him. See, they are in this precarious spot -- it's called a monopoly -- or 'Anti-Trust' laws.

What most people don't understand is that where Anti-Trust situations exist, mostly they carry-on through the good graces of there not being someone powerful enough to start such a thing. There have been times -- and in recent memory of course -- especially linked to the NFL -- I give you: The USFL! They had some BIG money behind those suits -- however ALL of the money had other wants (essentially to buy into the NFL) and ulterior motives. Thus, the people in the USFL didn't push things as far as they could have. A clear 'anti-trust' suit -- with no 'finiteness' would have been the way to go but the USFL just wanted to be able to 'compete' with the NFL in certain markets. MBB saying that he would want to have an unlimited 'Anti-Trust' suit would be devastating (even if the NFL won) to the NFL -- MBB knows where all the 'bones are buried' and what skeletons are located in 'what' closets. The NFL can't afford that to happen.

What and why, do you think that the NFL hasn't approached him with any real zest in regards to competition capabilities etc.? It is simply due to the fact that they can't do a thing about MBB because he can fold up his tent and take his complaints to Congress and soon Congress would be telling EVERYONE: "You can't play anymore!" And don't think that they can't or wouldn't, I ask you to think about a 'little' thing called NAPSTER! As far as that was woven into the electronic fabris of our lives back about 15 years ago, it got cut, gut and shut -- right out of the market. Ever notice where Napster is today? Don't think for a minute that the NFL is too big and/or too pervasive.

All it is going to take is the right people (Congress) and the right impetus (someone wanting to step in and TAKE what the NFL has (i.e., money and disposable cash!) and that's it for the ol' NFL. If one chooses not to believe that, that's fine, but the ol' tale about the Sand, a burying and an Ostrich's head -- all come to mind.

To put this all into perspective, I really don't know if you could call Mikey Boy "Montgomery Burns" Brown, stubborn. A good businessman, maybe (he's certainly fit the bill with that in terms of profitability). The problem is that we all want to see the Bengals win and play the way WE want them to play, and therein lies the cruz of it all -- MBB wants to win as a businessman (and he is) and for the team to do what WE want, bad business decisions have to be made.

Sure, MBB could hire a new GM for five years and $50 million. But what happens if that GM can't turn things around -- 50 mil down the shitter. He hires a new coach for five years and 40 million. Again, down the shitter. He goes out and hires Tom Brady (remember, these are things WE ALL WANT HIM TO DO) and Brady can't turn it around and we are on the hook for $100 mil, and we have to pay $20 mil to Carson even when he's not here but rather in Aruba enjoying his drinks on the beach etc. Don't you see? If for one year all of this pans out and we win a Super Bowl, it is all OVER come February. If we don't win again, then it's back to 'square one' a flop! People will bitch from on high, 'You aren't doing anything to help us win, MBB -- get rid of that aging ol' hack, Brady and dump the coach while you are at it -- see you are spending good money after bad!!! etc.'

So winning a Super Bowl, while nice, isn't what it is all about to MBB. He may say that in a soundbite but then again, as they say: "Soundbites aren't sworn testimony!" It would appear that it is all-about the business legacy -- 'I always made a profit!' That's good for him but lousy formulae for football. Until YOU start realizing this (and what you're (effectively speaking) asking of him, you're still going to be in for a good deal of emotional hurt. Even an indoor practice facility wouldn't help this.

Even the FACT that you had a chance to end this in the mid-90's but were too self-centered to do the right thing -- apparently doesn't weigh on people.

OH, and Hocs? How would we meet? You are already threatening me with bodily harm? How could I ensure my safety?

When the Browns became the Ravens, many Cleveland fans donated their apparel to a homeless Baltimore.

I agree with Comrade Ken. Mikey will only re-sell it or donate it himself and take the deduction.

I'm not trying to be flattering, and I didn't decide which copy to include on WDR. I initially attached a saved first draft, with most of the typing done on a smart phone between flights (and between drinks I might add)

I don't mind the criticism. We're all here because we're tired of this and we want better. I was hoping people could come up with their own ideas. I think a WDR charity event donating only Bungles gear is absolutely a better idea.

I let them know how I feel. I hope others can find a creative way to express their disgust.


wch, you are wrong, Mikey Boy is stubborn...nice book you wrote though failing to convince anyone otherwise!

wch --

You talk a great game...and talk, and talk, and freaking talk. You have the audacity to come on here and tell people that their actions they take to try and advocate change with the team that they love are stupid, you stand on your soapbox throwing out obscure references and insults to Cincinnatians about approving the stadium deal in the 90s and just plain annoy the hell out of everybody here. You fail to realize a couple of things while writing your little essays. One, not all people who visit this site are from Cincinnati; and, two, not everyone who visits this site was a voting taxpayer at the time the new stadium proposal for PBS was proposed. I, personally, fall under both categories--I'm not a native Cincinnatian, nor did I vote to keep the team around/approve a new stadium. You sit there and talk about "opinions and facts" and how articles here should be constructed, but you fail to look at the big picture and the ENTIRE constituent of the people who come to this site.

I guess with you it comes to a couple of simple questions:

1.) What do YOU propose Bengal fans do to try and advocate change with the Bengals? Though we realize that the actions we take as fans may have little impact on what Mike Brown will decide to do this offseason, I'd really like your take on what you think fans should be doing. No "shoulda's, woulda's, coulda's" about stadium deals in the 90s, no blasting others' ideas--just your take on what other things fans could be doing. And, for the love of God, be consise. Maybe you've already mentioned some ideas and I've missed them because, frankly, I'm getting pretty tired of your 48-page essays and hardly read all of them.

2.) After you give an idea(s), what are YOU doing to help this cause? You sound like a bitter Bengal fan like all of us. You also talk a good game on what everyone else should be doing. What are YOU doing, specifically, to try and bring about change? Maybe you should think about that before you call the founders of WDR "pussies" and those that have "lost their way".

Bottom line is that I've sat by idly with each WDR article and glossed through the comments and yours often make me want to punch a baby due to the lunacy that's contained in EVERY one of your posts. I simply couldn't do it again today. If you took my threats as serious, you're weirder than I thought. If you couldn't sense the sarcasm in it, you need to get out more. I will, however, stand by the fact that you embody someone that I'd probably want to punch if I saw them out at a bar. My guess is that you wear Ed Hardy shirts, have a receding hariline and are the uber-douche that tries to dance with EVERY girl in the bar with one hand in the air and the other sipping on a Mai Tai.



1. THere would be no instant replay
2. There would be no end-zone painting or logos on the field
3. There would be no suites and no stadiums newer then PBS
4. No Video Boards
5. No Free Agency nor salary cap
6. No touchdown dance of any kind
7. Coaches would never change
8. No Websites
9. No fantasy football
10. No electronic media / twitter, email, live game updates, etc.

11. No AC

Can you possibly image the NFL being as popular as it is if Mike got his way. Thank the lord the other owners don't listen to him.

All Salutes to JM, for the initiative and example he has set.

Mike "Ebenezer" Brown, on Christmas Eve, you will be visited by three spirits:

The ghost of Superbowl seasons past,
the ghost of failed seasons present,
and the ghost of NFL seasons yet to come...

Woe Dey, I say!!!

- Jacob "Bob" Marley

Jesus man. I just wish the ghost of Paul Brown would show up, go back to 1937, and pull out.

Wanna do another Beverly Hillbillies hoff?

You just saved MFB money. Now he can "re-gift" at Christmas!!!!

I love this idea, JM, and am crafting my own letter as we speak.

*Current items of business*


JM: yes I do want to do another Beverly Hillbillies, but I have to think of some lines, or wait for the Flatt & Scruggs inspiration bug to strike... for the ghost of Paul Brown, for that I'm thinking we'll also need Christopher Lloyd, a Lamborghini, and a director


* This site may need another category/link on the side, with the heading titled as 'Herp-Derp'. I think it might herp- ah, I mean, help


Comrade Robert posted:

"On some Game Days I still hang my Bengals banner outside using the International Sign of Distress
It hangs Upside Down."

And now, Mike Brown will charge extra at the pro shop for upside-down Bengals flags, to cash in on this whole Distress craze, and for which he will also take credit for Masturminding

Simple villagers though we may be, still we should band together torches-and-pitchforks style, to keep the Mikenstein Brownster from strangling our fair city with his bare, green hamms...quick, he's coming! Somebody play some music or something!!!

WDR should do the following:

1 Rent a mid-size space and have disgruntled Bengals fans send in Bengals gear.

2 Collect enough to fill a dump truck.

3 Call local news agencies

4 Dump the clothes on the curb in front of PBS in a very public, televised show of protest.

5 Donate the clothes to shelters/charities

Marc, I will address you first...
...If by 'wanting to be profitable and taking the necessary steps to do so' means stubborness? Unless you are communist, how could this be thought of as a 'fault' of the man -- by you? I finally note that the very people who won't like the lengths of which I write, I can simply say that considering some in the audience, I have to write that lengthy of a missive (and I said this before -- catch up! Marc), to make damned sure that no one can confuse what I am talking about or take it out of context as well. Judging by what I am 'receiving' back even this tactic can't work -- what with the 'clientele' of some on this website.
The problem is that you (and just about everyone on this website) STILL believe that there can be ANYTHING done to change the Bengals. Therein lies the total issue -- your guys aren't williing to face reality and realize that NOT A THING CAN BE DONE to change them short of the team plane crashing to the point that MBB and his brethren take a bump on their collective heads and decided to turn the team over to actual winning-minded people. Remember Green Bay? For years the city charter forbade them to run that franchise as ANYTHING other than a "FOR-PROFIT" business. Because of that mandate, they had no choice but to accept a litany of 'has-beens', garbage coaches, poor management in terms of doing the things to make a winner on the football field (which is a complete opposite of a winner on the FINANCIAL field). Once the citizen/investors (they don't have an 'owner' like we do -- the city owns them) decided to take the gloves off -- they removed the 'FOR-PROFIT' requirements, the team has been winning -- but make no mistake about it, to do so has put them in VERY precarious financial confines -- and what the citizen-owners have now found out (and that MBB already knew) was that the financial 'payback' for having a winning team does not last much more than a 'New York minute!' and that what one needs to do is to make a 'Faustian deal' in order to win but they are going to pay for on the other end. MBB knows this so the only way for his team to win is to rely on luck/fortune. Luck that a player they draft goes 'nuclear' in his skill and can carry the team all by himself (think Munoz, in his day). Fortune that a certain player was still available to them because some other dumb GM took a powder on him for various reasons (think Collinsworth). Fortune that someone like a David Verser really didn't hurt the team in the big picture. Luck that the other teams that the Bengals have played have had the wrong injuries at the wrong time, played wrongly at the worst time, split with each other (or virtually so) within the division, played out-of-division teams that played WELL under their capabilities.
Ask yourself about 1981 -- that team wasn't fortunate. They were built with the DNA of Forrest Gregg. Within a couple of years, the problem of being financially UNSOUND -- which, like it or not, was the foundation/situation for that Gregg team, when the players started to ask for appropriate money for what they were putting out on the field, that team started to fall apart. Sure, the management put 'band-aids' on the cuts that were leaking blood, but you couldn't patch up all the holes (not with the money that was there that was financially sound in coming forth.) and too much blood leaked out. That's one of the reasons that Gregg left the team; MBB not wanting to pay him what he was worth, that's yet another!
The problem is that in today's game, you either have an unseen 'Sugar-Daddy' (which MBB won't have because he has to have absolute control -- see Marc, it isn't 'stubborness', it is a form of megalomania in my opinion...) which New Orleans had in that city leaders paid the money for Katrina and afterwards, the NFL gave an inordinate amount of money to the owner -- basically just about everything he did last year and to some extent up to this year, he was 'riding on other people's' dimes. So MBB doesn't have that so he has to 'play things close to the vest'.
First and foremost, it isn't going to help him to 'shoot his wad' all in one fell swoop. Doing so will give him short term fame (something that I don't think he's all that interested in) but intermediate AND long-term financial grief. Thus MBB knows that to piss away his money now will certainly result (if things aren't modified along the way) in not having the financial stability to keep the team -- keeping the team is the utmost thing to him. Keeping the team for 'Hoculi' is a narcissistic schoolboy fantasy for someone who doesn't want to recognize the real situation. Put simple, put you in charge and the team would be bankrupt in five years. To MBB, that can't happen! To any 'semi'-student of business, one would say that it is idiotic to do it the way YOU wish and that it is certain failure of a business to proceed in such reckless and feckless regard.
It would seem that the only ones able to undertake such a situation (lest a situation as profiled above) in places like New York, Boston, Chicago and what seems to be a constant rotation of secondary cities that might, at any given point, have the ability to economically mimic the three cities mentioned before.
You aren't going to like it but it is the only way -- unless there is some legal clause (or the aforemention amnesia were to take place (Think of: The Grinch who stole Christmas), the answer to what can be done, well it is to wait out MBB until his lease is due up and then summarily cut ties with him -- (I have said this before -- apparently you weren't reading it?). It means that we, as citizens of this fair locale, might have to do without a football team -- and if not permanently, for a loooonnnnnnngggggggggggg time! What YOU want is to be rid of MBB and still keep our team. What YOU do not recognize is that if you got the first part of your dream through, either the same shit happens with the team as in happening NOW under the tutelage of MBB or they move elsewhere because in order to win as the citizens want them to, they can't afford it with the citizens backing from citizens from this area. Put it this way, ticket would have to be about $350.00 MINIMUM -- that's for "nosebleed" seats. You might get a few 'twerps' who'd buy 'A' ticket for that price, and might be greedily accepting to do it if it were located at New England's stadium -- and to be at least mid-way at that. Virtually NO ONE is going to pay that kind of price to live at the city's smog line. No one buys, there is no league subsidy for the new owner (because things aren't ALL going to completely transfer over to a new owner), and guess what, the new owner has to leave for more 'fertile' grounds -- say: L.A.?
Simply put, MBB is "IRON-CLAD" in this city and the only way he will leave is if HE wants to leave. Again, I said it before and I will say it yet again. We had the chance to dump MBB back in the 90's. Even people who knew it was wrong to keep and/or subsidize MBB STILL voted for the tax to be enabled -- and it was solely to their arrogance and their ego: "We don't want to be labeled as the 'Shiver on the River' (ala: Mistake by the Lake). We don't want to be called a 'Second Rate City!" They never once considered that they weren't even a fourth-class city. Yet I am comfortable with that place as I think most people should. To be a first-rate city, you have the things such as high-crime rates, pollution, corruption etc. Do you really want to be Chicago?
Final word on this, if you didn't read, I can't help it if that's hard for you to accomplish (see, I can throw out a barb or two as well -- the only difference is that I support what I say -- namely, well, because I can put a few words together, competently, and form a cogent argument -- you on the other hand... ...Maybe you'd be better off reading more as it might 'edjumicate' you?
On to number two:
What am I going to do to help this cause? Let me ask you how many pieces of Bengals memorabilia you own? I own none. So by 'not doing anything' I am doing something, now aren't I? Don't you wish that you could do the same?
I pretty much haven't told everybody what they should be doing (well maybe a VERY small amount), but rather I got upset at listening to a bunch of whiny-assed cry-babies bitching about this situation but NEVER wanting to do what they could have done to stop it -- again all out of selfishness on their part. Ya could've voted down the tax amendment for the Stadium (sales tax). If things would have played out like they should have, MBB would have taken the team elsewhere -- GOOD! We get rid of that scourge! That's the whole point of this. It isn't the team or anything like that, it is getting rid of MBB. Sure, doing so might result in us losing the team, but that's the price we've got to pay. The trouble is that they are too many (apparently) like YOU who want to 'have their cake and eat it to!' This is 'adult-land', "Hockalunger!" 'Little kids' aren't allowed to play this (business) game!
As to what I am trying to do to bring about change? Oh this is set up so WELL! Well, I am certainly not going to allow change for change's sake -- OBAMA (insert rimshot here!). Maybe you could just look at that mistake over in Washington D.C. and realize that 'Change for Change's Sake!' is a pathetically sorry way to run and formulate the ideas and concepts of your lives? When you start to think, just think about that "fargin'" mess and that will give you a guideline of what "NOT" to do.
I also realize very well that the situation is a slave to the pen and paper. Unless there is something in it that allows for the dissolution of this mess that is the Bengals front office, there isn't much (I am a realist here) that CAN be done about it. Putting urinal cakes in the 'pissers', while humors, did nothing to get the Bengals out and if expressed in percentages where falling below 50% makes the Bengals' front office's knees weak, the 'upright' cakes might've shaken the Bengals about 6 or 7%. For them, it was more about the headache of some stadium worker having to go get a pair of tongs and fish them out -- especially after guys similar to you probably pissed on them and didn't flush (neanderthals). In short, it was a waste of money. Got about five weeks of publicity but even before the first one was dropped on white porcelain, it was already clear that NOTHING done was going change things down a the PBS offices. Trust me, the Bengals knew it! They knew it long before ever entered your foggy brain! (I told you I could trade... -- the difference being that I rarely initiate anything but I am certainly willing to respond in kind -- all I ask is that if it is 'done to me, I at least have 'fair play' and get to do it back!' I am not one of these guys who thinks that if someone 'smacks' you, you must turn the other check. No, no, I told you before, I am a realist, I realize that all 'turning the other check' does only one thing -- it gets you slapped on the other cheek! No, my belief or personality is to strike back -- even stronger!)
Oh, and btw, I meant the term 'Pussies!' in the nicest and warmest ways (in keeping with the spirit of Christmas!) I guess I didn't threaten to knock their 'chiclets' out -- like you did to me! Big difference!
Hockeypuck, I find it funny that you could run that 'soup cooler' under your nose and threaten someone then after consultation with some 'squib-load' who probably said: "Hey man, you gotta negate dat shit, you threatened him, yes you did!!!",you come back with some LAME way of 'trying to get yourself out of it!" by saying: " If you took my threats as serious, you're weirder than I thought. If you couldn't sense the sarcasm in it, you need to get out more." Let' me 'aks' you "oh' Child of Light...' just HOW is one supposed to take (as you stated it was): a Threat? I wonder, is their such a thing as a 'joke' threat? How about a 'funny' threat? Funny as in: "Ha! Ha! I amuse you!"? (My apologies to Pesci). How about a "I'm pissed off and think I am going to get one off to this guy (wch) and do it without having to be held accountable, threat? Dude, THINK before you write! Please, THINK!

BTW, Ed Hardy isn't my thing. The hairline is pretty stabile, it is über -- not 'uber', douche (would you get that if I wrote: "it is über -- not 'uber'. you douche!?), my dancin' days really never were -- unless you call the Electric Company up in 'Hamiltucky' for two visits (that was fine enough with me -- I hate 'electric-music' and especially that 'TOOL BAG" on those Crackberry commercials (Bolo or sumpin' like dat) where that guy admits that he makes that shit happen! He and the owner of Muzak (NOT Uncle Ted) ought to be relegated to hang from scaffolding while pigeons shit on them forever!, I didn't go to the bar, I was so hooked up that magically, a barmaid appeared right before my eyes and I told her to go over to your table as you needed more help than me -- yes, you heard that right -- I gave you my seconds!bwahaha!, I never 'fancied' Mai Tai's (I was honestly surprised you could spell that though.) as I tend to like a decent single-malt with just a splash of water to bring out the peat. Come to think of it, I like Bombay Sapphire Gin as well. I like Guinness (Stout being the best) as my beer of choice. Oh the thought of it all. I must've absolutely WRECKED your thoughts about me -- didn't I!
I am, however, GLAD that I would be the type of person you'd want to punch. To be honest, you are one that I would love to sit down and have a beer (provided that you're old enough to legally consume 'alkeehawl') with -- no, no, not no Obama/Police Officer type of situation. Just sit around and 'soot the sit'. Don't know how it'd get done, maybe Andrew could help out? Andrew and me would have to get together and figure it out how to do that without me getting flooded. Maybe a temporary email?

wch, I would take the time to read your babble if I thought there was anything worthwhile in it. But I can't and there isn't. In your first book, you said Mike Brown was a good business man. You lost me there....I simply can't agree with that. He is a lucky man that was born into his position and enjoys a monopoly with his NFL franchise. You could call him a shrewd negotiator maybe based on the stadium deal, but if he were a business man in another business and took the same approach there that he does with the Bengals, he would fail miserably. If he were a good business man, he would realize there's more money to be had if his franchise had sustained success. Full stadiums/luxury suites, more revenue from naming rights and jersey sales, etc. But the man is too stubborn to change his ways, YES STUBBORN. He makes great money and that is good enough for him because he does so easily. There's too much risk in it for him to try and make great or outstanding money with his franchise. A good business man would take that risk because the potential rewards are worth it!

OK everybody, sorry, I'm done feeding the TROLL.

This is a site that dreams of or discusses ways to attempt to instigate change to the management structure of the Cincinnati bungles.

If your goal is to simply say to most of us that we had our chance to get rid of MFB, or that we're wasting our time because he will never change, then you have the right to post your opinion just as the rest do.

Could you do it in a way that doesn't take up the entire fucking page?

It's not what is typed, it's just that it takes a few seconds to ignore the post and scroll past it.

I wish we let Mike Brown move to Cleveland like he threatened. With our fan base, the NFL would have given us a team again. Management, at the least, would be slightly more competent than Brown. The Texans have more wins since their start up then the Bengals do,the panthers went to the Super Bowl 8 years after they began. Why don't we give Mike Brown good recommendation to L.A. and say Bon Voyage!

wch --

Thanks for being consise! From the mind-numbing drivel that you wrote which contained an insane amount of parentheses, I can tell that you didn't read anything I previously wrote--so thank you for that. But, like I expected, you STILL used the tax amendment crap excuse while apparently STILL living in 1997 instead of 2010. And, also like I expected, you basically said that you believe there is nothing that can be done to save the franchise outside of the deaths of front office personnel (at least I think that that's what you said--I feel like I'm reading the private diary entries of "John Doe" from the movie "Seven" when I read your ramblings). Fine. We get it. This will be my last response towards you because, frankly, your opinion is worhtless to me and my biceps' time is too valuable to waste by talking to you.

Not looking forward to your next entry,

Eddie H.

The stuff about the draft is actually very inaccurate. Amazingly they are above average when it comes to percentage of draft picks still playing in the league.

Oh, Hockey... are finally getting to understand the concept that 'just because you want it, doesn't mean you're gunna get it!" Usually this is figured out by the time a person attains the age of three. Guess you are a little late to the party?

Obviously understanding things is not your strong suit either because each of your points, I addressed individually. That must mean that your comprehension is lagging or you just didn't want to 'hear what someone said to you' -- or a mixture of both. I can't help it that you refuse to learn simply because you're (get ready for it...) STUBBORN!

BTW, I never saw that movie. Wasn't too much of a winning flick I guess.

As to your 'biceps time' methinks it is more a case of sphincters of the oral orifice?

I've gotta know... ...were you mentally unstable enough (we are not talking about anyone else here so don't try to take it that direction -- we are ONLY talking of YOU, here) to vote in favor of the tax for the stadium? If so, why (asked rhetorically)?

It is truthfully, REALLY funny, to read your thoughts as everything you write is -- well, WRONG! It is a case of watching someone (you) being defeated by logic and reason to the point that you are picking up your 'blanky' and going home. Kinda reminds me of how Danica Patrick fumed at Michigan a couple of years ago and pouted and stomped after she didn't get (as well) what she wanted. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less?

I just wished that I got some time to spend on this subject with you but alas, it didn't happen. Pity.
ALWAYS looking forward to my next entry!

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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