IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
« Mike Brown: "You Are Stuck With Me" | Main | Pathetic »
As first brought to our attention by Ben, and then immediatly after by Colin (so close!), someone has been having some fun with Bob Bratkowski's wikipedia page. Here is a screenshot of the edited page, taken from SI's Extra Mustard (it has now been changed to a more standard and far less accurate version).
If you want to see some of WDR's previous coverage on Brat, click here or on any of the more colorfully named hashtags appended to this post below.
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
Hell yeah, that's awesome it made SI, i'm glad to have had a hand in it.
Posted by: Kevin Jones | December 10, 2010 at 10:58 AM
I have never been more proud of something I did while bored at work. Long live Brown Stain Bratty.
Posted by: Alex | December 10, 2010 at 11:17 AM
Long live him indeed.
Posted by: Kevin Jones | December 10, 2010 at 11:32 AM
I don't know what all the hubbub is about.
Everybody knows SWB fired Brat a while back.
You can read it here on the WDR website
(don't have the link, but I did read it;
Don't know what else can be done,
if they still let him hang around the clubhouse,
or the sidelines though).
I don't usually take much stock in Wikipedia info,
but Brat's page just seems to have an extra air of authenticity to it, except most recently, when some ne'er-do-wells decided to omit key segments of the bio/profile...hmmm...
Posted by: Leonid Brezhnahan | December 10, 2010 at 10:30 PM
Man, announcers sure do love mistaking crappy Bengals tackling for Big Ben "toughness"
Posted by: Ben | December 12, 2010 at 01:20 PM
2nd & 4: false start
2nd & 9: Benson up the middle for no gain
3rd & 9: Palmer sacked for huge loss
Brown Stain Batty is cooking up something steamy!
Posted by: Ben | December 12, 2010 at 02:11 PM
I'd like to think the Wikipedia led to Brat creating the Whitworth TD pass. We motivated him to changing 1 single thing in his offense, a win is a win.
Posted by: Kevin Jones | December 12, 2010 at 02:29 PM
I can't wait for the film debut of "We Are Bungall", starring Methhew McCoughnahay...I'm pretty sure the book is already in Oprah's book club...
just reach into the bowl---I mean, under your seat...
Posted by: DutchHercules | December 12, 2010 at 02:38 PM
Carson Throws a Pick Six is actually in the playbook this year.
Posted by: MikeBrownIsAScumbag | December 12, 2010 at 02:55 PM
I refer to him as pick 6 palmer.spread the word
Posted by: Barry | December 12, 2010 at 03:51 PM
I just want to remind everyone that drafting Cam Newton or Andrew Luck won't change a damn thing. Whoever is unlucky enough to get drafted by the Bungles will just become Bungalized. The worst part about seasons like these is the sheep starting draft talk already, or blaming all this on Carson Palmer. Yeah, he sucks, but if you put Joe Montana in a Bengals uniform, in his prime, he's no better than a .500 QB.
Posted by: MikeBrownIsAScumbag | December 12, 2010 at 04:12 PM
MBB isn't going to hire another coach unless it is someone from within that he WILL HAVE to pay regardless of a lockout next year. Otherwise, the position of head coach will go un-filled after Lewis' contract is up.
One cannot -- CANNOT -- participate in a draft because no players will be paid because of no contracts being struck. Next year looks to be a wash.
As to MikeBrownIsAScumbag... ...you are 'bang-on!' It isn't the players so much as it is the team.
It WILL ALL change though, if we get an indoor practice facility!
Posted by: wch | December 13, 2010 at 07:04 PM
Do you know that it is correct time to get the personal loans, which will realize your dreams.
Posted by: Ericka19Richardson | October 09, 2011 at 11:24 AM