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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Dear Carson, This Would Be Nice To See... | Main | Bengals Among NFL's Biggest 'Disappointments' in 2010, But We Know Better »

November 16, 2010


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I think the knocks against Katie Blackburn are overblown. She was ridiculed for how she handled Andre Smith on Hard Knocks, but I really don't see why. I feel like people expected a scene out of Jerry McGuire and when she didn't perform like Bob Sugar, the conclusion was that she was a lousy negotiator. I don't know if anyone noticed, but the Bengals got a pretty good contract, considering Andre Smith's draft position. As to whether or not Smith was worth drafting is another question.

At this point, I don't see any reason to believe she wouldn't hire a GM or build an indoor facility, etc. But we'll have to wait and see.

That was quite a dissertation. It is completely sad and even worse, it's completely true. And @ Matt C, please come back to reality. Pimping Katie Blackburn as a diamond in the rough is not only ridiculous, but out and out a frightening denial of reality. Pew-dey.
Your most humble and loyal servant,
P.S. I long for the relief death will bring!

I just want to vomit the more and more I think about this stuff. I love this team, but it is getting harder and harder to get truly excited knowing that nothing has changed up top.

Also, Katie and Troy have expressed interest in hiring a GM...

But I guess being the QB of the Dartmouth Indians gives you experience women just don't have the opportunity for.

Marvin is gone - his mood these past few games have come from knowing MB won't meet Marvin's contract demands (indoor facility, personnel control), so he'll be let go.

My only question is who would be stupid enough to take this job without being able to hire his own coordinators/position coaches or having any say in the roster?

honestly as shit as Marvin Lewis' preparation for game seems to be I kind of feel sorry for him. What other idiot would take this job? This team is so fucked it's not even funny. I've given up all hope that they will ever compete for a chip. There is nothing close to how shit of an organization this is. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. This cocksuckin Mike "piece of" Brown "shit" will see to it that we never cheer for a winner. It's as if his actual goal is to lose rather than win. Nobody can be that stupid and shit.

so this is what it must feel like to be trapped in a loveless marriage (shiver)

10 bucks says Marv is leaving because Mikie won't budge on his cheapness.

@DELONTE, I think you're right about him. He's the best the Bengals will get. I can't imagine a top tier quality coach would want to come in with the way Mikie Boy runs things.

I think Marvin has pushed Mike Brown as far as is possible. I seriously can't expect any better than a .500 record- at best- with the way things are run. Respectable seasons when the schedule is soft, then back to sucktitude the next season when there are more tough games.

I, douche bag that I am, still am holding out hope that Katie and Troy will have no problem making changes once Mikey is out of the way. They grew up here, their kids go to school here, they have dealt with this scorn their whole'll only get worse for their kids as they get older. I think they'll just want to end it all and get outside help.

The wildcard is if Katie wants to prove she can be a good female GM in a league of men. I have no idea if that would motivate her but who knows? You have to imagine that it's tempting for her to wield that power her dad had once she gets the chance.

Hey, here's an idea... ...let's try to come up with a list of the world's most annoying song? That's just about as useful as what's going on in here anyhow... Maybe we can make people donate $0.02 for each song they nominate -- you know, so they can help pay for the indoor practice facility (Bienemy has to pay $4.6 million dollars for his suggestion -- plus another 8 million in cost overruns and 50 million in interest etc.)

I will start first: Starland Vocal Bands' "Afternoon Delight!"

Remember, I won't pay until everyone else agrees to!


I don't know if Mike Brown could be worse than I think.
I think he's pretty fucking bad.

Maybe if Katie Blackburn becomes GM she won't suck as bad as her dad. I mean, it could happen.

The most awful, annoying song. Who Dey.
They probably play it all the time at PBS.

Cleveland Browns hire a G.M.

Cleveland Browns are tough and win games that they aren't supposed to

And nobody wants to play them right now


Mike Fucking Brown does it Burger King style, you know

Has it his way.

Doesn't hire a G.M. And instead pays himself

Bonuses............. Mother fucking bonuses

Meanwhile his team is weak

And everyone wants to play them

Mike Fucking Brown

Based upon the human evidence of Mike Brown, and Katie Brown-Blackbush it's rather obvious that Paul Brown wishes that............

He would have pulled out.

This fucking slime needs to die.

Folks when he dies from stress related illnesses, you know "it's so hard to run a team" it'll be the best day in the HISTORY of Cincinnati.

He's not going to stop. He's not going to quit. He's not going to spend.

Why should we?

Better points

He doesn't care.

Why do we?

He doesn't try.

Why should we?

(biggest one of all)


WHY SHOULD WE?????????

That's the billboard that might hit this t-bagger, inbred, , cock sucker.

Mike F. Brown
You don't try
You don't care
You don't spend

Why should we???????????


I'll donate money to the simple;

Mike F. Brown

You don't try

You don't care

You don't spend



That pretty much says it.

Who's with me?

who dey?

who cares!

i also overheard someone say "who dont" over the weekend and i thought id pass it along


That's the billboard that might hit this t-bagger, inbred, , cock sucker.

Mike F. Brown
You don't try
You don't care
You don't spend

Why should we???????????


I will donate if this goes up for the next home game even though it will be blacked out (I can only hope that it will be blacked out so that I don't have to spend another sunday watching this asshole ruin and continue ruining the only sports team I have ever truly been a fan of, yes I am a "bengals douchebag")

Who dey think you dumb enough to watch the Bengals suck for 20 more years?
Mike Brown dey.

There's a poll up at asking which of five "young" players people most want to see get more playing time: Chase Coffman, Anthony Collins, Carlos Dunlap, Brandon Ghee, or Jerome Simpson.

37% said Dunlap, and I don't necessarily disagree since the current D-Line starters sure aren't getting anything done.

But then 33% say Coffman, who is a known liability in blocking and whose receiving skills probably aren't much (if any) better than Gresham's, who we're already not using in the downfield game.

Another 20% say Simpson, as though the only reason he can't get on the field is bias. Look, Chad and T.O. are the two best WRs on the team, and Jordan Shipley is clearly the #3. Caldwell was serviceable in that role last year and is a good fourth option at the moment - why do we want to see Simpson other than to feel better about another wasted Brown era 2nd round draft pick?

5% say Ghee, and with Morgan Trent and Adam Jones out, and Hall and Joseph having recurring minor injuries of their own, we'll see plenty of Ghee.

But the alarming thing is the mere 4% who say Collins (including two votes of my own, as I had to revote to view the statistics after leaving the page). Andre Smith is done for the season, so there's no reason to worry about getting him more time. That means, apparently, 96% of users/visitors are satisfied enough with Dennis Freaking Roland in the lineup that they'd rather watch someone like Jerome Simpson suck at running routes. Unbelievable. Problem #1 is Mike Brown. Problem #2 is Bengals fans.

Well wasn't there a time in the past few years that Katie tried pushing daddy to hiring a GM. I know I heard that at some point after the 05 season somewhere. Maybe there is a light. Or maybe we're holding onto false hope. Regardless nothing is going to change in the Bengals org. The Browns/Blackburns will always control the team. It'll never be sold. The best chance we have of losing the Browns/Blackburns is them moving the team to another city. Then after that, who knows how long it'll take to bring another team in. Maybe never. I dunno. I'm done.

@wch -

we know you're a crusty old repub. you don't have to throw out oldies but not goodies like "afternoon delight" to tell us that (though if you were remotely "hip" to the times, you would know that matt damon made that song 85x's sweeter than your mid-30's talking-down-to-war-protesters self could have known was possible when it was first released.)

it's so obvious from pronoun #1 what comments are yours on this site - they remind us of a grandpa who smells like liniment, whose ear shrubs are too thick to maybe hear your own self step back and admit, "i am part of an irrelevant generation".

great work on adopting the sign off so embraced by 7th grade girls the world over. it'll be useful when they bring the pedophilia lawsuit against your dirty old grampass.


In case you didn't see this last week (I posted to the end of the Reedy 200 losses comments), I'll share it again:

First off, THIS IS IN NO WAY A DEFENSE FOR MIKEY AND HIS REIGN OF FUTILITY. Got it? Ok then. I just wanted to share this, 'cause it's so sad it's funny: As a central Florida resident in the ‘80s, I had the misfortune to get acquainted with Hugh Culverhouse’s style of football management (he was mentioned in Reedy’s blog and was the original owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the only franchise to go 0-for-the-entire-season). One year, in a misguided attempt to expand his fan base and therefore sell more tickets, he announced his intention to play two regular season games in the Citrus Bowl. Which is in Orlando. He did not intend to give any refunds to those who already had purchased tickets: rather, he told them they would receive equivalent seats in Orlando. Imagine the response if Mikey told Bengals season ticket holders to drive to Columbus for two games!

Why does everyone assume the team will never be sold? What if Paul Brown stadium was empty every Sunday? The NFL would step in. Probably they would move the team to Los Angeles or some other sucka city. But Mikey might be persuaded at that point to take the almost-a-billion-dollars and run. And that would be the best possible outcome of this shitty situation.

Good grief, that's freaking depressing.

I thought about posting the line, "Mike Brown's office is the outhouse of the football gods." But then I realized that takes MFB off the hook, as though he was just dealt a bad hand, with a steaming pile of bad luck on the side.

But as this post lays out beautifully, Mike F-ing Brown is the steaming pile here. In 20 years, everything else has changed multiple times: coaches, coordinators, players, even the stadium. Yet everything stays the same: the bad decisions, the lack of scouts, the utter dysfunction, the losing. It's all institutional. This is the shanty Mike Brown has built for us, his serfs that exist only to enrich him.

The only thing that could make MFB more pathetic is if he made the players let him rub Bratkowski fur on them the way Marge Schott used to do to Reds players with fur from her dogs.


Matt C, Katie looked like a complete clueless moron(perfect Bengal executive) on Hard Knocks. It was later proven how stupid she really was when Smith and his agent hoodwinked her into signing Big Andre with a broken foot.


202 this weekend!


In what way did she look clueless? I've heard this before, but what is the evidence? She said the Raiders overpaid and that they were not obligated to beat their contract. Sounds like good business to me. Explain to me why a team must always pay more than the team who selects after them.

And you're suggesting the Andre's foot was broken before he started training camp? That's one I haven't heard before. So I guess he ran around on a broken foot for 2+ days masking his injury.

I don't blame Blackburn for Blubba the Fat's holding out. The important factor there was instead of getting an 8 to 10 year rock solid OT they got fatty McFootbreak who barely beat out Dennis El Toro Roland


Matt C. You are an idiot! Nothing about how this team is run says "good business" If Mikey boy and his moron daughter don't want to sign first round draft picks, then trade the pick. History has proven that this organization would rather win a the negotiating table with draft picks than win on the field. So I ask you, how is that good business? By continuing to nickle and dime draft picks they send message to the fans (the people that actually buy tickets) that winning isn't important. I would rather they trade their first round pick every year and get more picks than try to get "cheap picks" at the top of the draft! And if you look into this thing called "draft slotting" it will explain why the team that picks before another team is pretty much required to pay more than said team.

viva la revolution. Stop buying merchandise and stop going to the games. I want to see no one at the rest of the home games. I want the bengals to be the lowest rated televised game ever. The only way for change is to to attack Mike Brown's pocket. Let the revolution begin.

Houses are quite expensive and not everybody is able to buy it. Nevertheless, business loans are created to support different people in such cases.

That is understandable that cash makes people independent. But how to act when someone has no cash? The only one way is to receive the home loans and bank loan.

Mr. lipwak, I figured it out... thanks anyway.!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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