MNF Headline: Mike Brown on Brink of Reaching 200 Losses Faster than Any NFL Owner

With a special thanks to our readers for reminding us, we bring to you the real drama tonite:

Will Mike Brown reach his 200th loss, and hence, achieve this dubious honor faster than any of his NFL peers in the history of the league?

Yes, according to our records, since 1991 the record of Bengals owner/GM Mike Brown is 113-199-1 (including two playoff losses).  According to others research (would love some verification), even if Mike doesn't achieve this feat tonite, Bill Bidwell of the Arizona Cardinals, Mike's main competitor in futility took 348 games to reach his 200th loss.  Mike will be overseeing the 314th game of his tenure tonite, so unless the Bengals go on roughly a 34-0 run over the next few years he all but has this honor locked up.  And he also was the slowest to get his 100th win. 

Like a 30/30 baseball guy, Mike is now a 100/200 guy, but for wins and losses.  We would like to be the first to welcome him to this ignominious club, of which he is the Chairman.  And we'd like you to help us welcome him at tonite's game too.  It's a little late, we know - and it's not a Project Mayhem task - but if you are heading down to taxpayer funded PBS tonite and are inclined to make signs/banners or start chants make it a point to incorporate this theme.  The Commisioner himself will be tailgating in Lot E, wander over there and let him know as well.

But Sleeping With Bieniemy, I thought WDR boycotts attending games?  Ah, good point.  However, for Steelers games we make exceptions.  As we all unfortunately know, Steelers fans will pretty much guarantee sellouts for Mikey even if Bengals fans don't show up.  And the only thing worse than Bengals fans giving Mike Brown money, is Steelers fans giving Mike Brown money.  So enjoy the game guilt free and let Mike Brown hear your wrath.  Just don't spend money on concessions and merchandise!  We encourage flasks and drinking too much before the game if you need to get your booze on.

For a little more history on inept owners, it appears the only other owners who would have made Mikey look just bad instead of historically miserable were the original Bucs and Saints owners.  Both began with expansion teams that had few advantages that more modern expansion teams receive.  Mikey, on the other hand, inherited a playoff team and promptly won 14 games in the next 4 years.  Those owners had winning percentages around 30.7% versus Mikey's 36.1%.  However, one died before he could beat Mikey to the 100/200 club and the other sold the team to someone else.

No matter how much hate spills forth from our pages here, we assure you we would vastly prefer Mikey follow the latter path and not the former.

For the spreadsheet oriented, here's a spreadsheet where you can see the win breakdowns:  Download Bengals 2nd Half Wins

So here's to Mike Brown on the brink of his 200th loss.  Not just any one can accomplish that feat so fast, and in fact, no one else has.

Comments

[Hofbraunow]

Every stiller fan they've shown on the pre-game show tonight looked like they had lipstick on...and they had short hair....ACTIVIA

[Hofbraunow]

You other people, have fun out there...just remember...someone has to mind the store

WDR Forever, Mike Brown NEVER

[O'JTSullivan]

It's taken nearly two decades, but Mike Brown has finally figured it out.

1. Get big names for cheap.
2. Get good coaches that will coach for cheap.
3. Keep the coaches long enough for fans to grow to hate them (ensured by his organization's unrelenting futility).
4. Control all personnel decisions.
5. Put together the shittiest offensive and defensive lines imaginable.
6. Conduct business as usual with cost cutting/GM bonus receiving/etc.
7. Watch and chuckle as beleaguered and demoralized fans blame the players and coaches.
8. Profit.

[Air Jordans]

I believe in reincarnation.

[O'JTSullivan]

9. And, by the way, do all that and become the worst loser of any owner in NFL history all while the fans don't even notice while they do No. 7.
10. Do it all again next year, 'cause you've got losing perfected.

[Wyatt]

Let's have a toast for the douchebags, a toast for the assholes, let's have a toast for the assholes, every one of them I know, let's have a toast for the jerkoffs, that'll never take work off...

[Wyatt]

(And that, douchebags, is how you work song lyrics into a blog post's comments...not that meandering bullshit we had to suffer through a few weeks back.)

[Hofbraunow]

Gentlemen, let me remind you, we are at war...and war means...beer...and strategy

[Hofbraunow]

Nobody say anything about Carson Palmer...because that is T.O.'s teammate...and, it's not fair

[Air Jordans]

The sun shine fiercely.

[Hofbraunow]

Here's what Wade Phillips heard from the booth:

60-Stretch Fah--Huggggh...

[Hofbraunow]

I'm still waiting for the highlights

[Hofbraunow]

I see a lot of Stillers getting injured...cause if they like it then they shoulda-puta ring on-it

[BMN]

And history has been made!

Of course, it's a shame that some of the players that tried to make an inspired go out of it have to fall short, but let's keep the focus of this ignominious achievement on who it should truly be on: one Michael Brown.

Your dubious honor was truly earned, sir.

[NATIONAL FIX LEAGUE(NFL)]

im calling out marnvin,brown and palmer and all the head coaches,the fix is known and soon will be revealed so i ask all the one in all organized sports what will u do when it comes to past that you been pulling wool over ur loyal fans knowing the outcome of all games and then the fans who got you rich might want alittle pay back so only thing i can say to all organized sports that u might not screw with who wins or loses and let the better team win .i just wonder who won the bid for the superbowl and im not talking were it be held.goooooooooooooo jets

[NATIONAL FIX LEAGUE(NFL)]

mike brown just piss because balitmore didnt want him because that wanted an owner who bid and pay out for a superbowl in which that got the brown s team which was bull and than i guess the owner of ravens won the bid in 2000.in a way all the teams that didnt win u proubly was the better team than the ones that has won it.fake fix u name it i think ill rather watch WWE sence they came out sayingthe r enterament

[Sleeping With Bieniemy]

Ravens fan?