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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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November 09, 2010

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Listening to Dave Lapham interview Marvin Lewis before the game while stuck in traffic on 75 south because they decided to pave three fucking lanes at rush hour was perhaps the most painful moment of my life. Ever notice that Lapham's question are like fifty times longer than the answer could ever possibly be? It is hilarious. And has there ever been a worse mouth of a franchise than Marvin "so forth" Lewis. I swear to God that d-bag has said "so forth" in every interview he has stumbled through. The guy looks and sounds like a sixty eight year old raging alcoholic who is just learning English. Fuck the Bengals. And I was at the freezer bowl for Chrissake.



Disband the team. Please. How much more suffering must Mike Brown put us through?

Instead he will hire Bart-cow-ski to be head coach next year, and the city will actually implode from nuclear incompetence.

Disband the team now for the sake of our city's survival.

Clearly we are having another disappointing year and coming off one of the more disappointing losses in recent memory. However, I'd like to point out we could have been in this same position last year. The difference between this year and last year is that somehow last year we caught enough breaks to squeak by and this year it's just not happening. If anything I think we're a better team offensively, just not good enough to overcome a fired up defensive stand.

Fucking steelers...

Oh, and i can't wait to go to work and listen to the "steeler's fans" gloat about their win - who probably can't even name the head coach or even what division their in. They just probably have a relative or parent who lived in Shittsburgh for some period of time and because of that declare their loyalty.

Fucking Steelers Fans

FUCK YOU MIKE BROWN!!!
The torment of supporting this team is getting to be too much!
B Scott starts us in the hole 7-0. Fucking mistakes that can't be made continue to be made.
Once again...
FUCK YOU MIKE BROWN!!!


Aside from the mistakes, the rest of the Bengals play was great to watch. Losing thru fundamental mistakes seems par for the course for this team, but otherwise it was a great game to watch...I'm not totally disappointed...however, I do have a headline for B-Hob, for all future Bengals endeavors:

"Bengals Lose Heartbreaker In Offseason"


This just in:

Bengals Lose Heartbreaker In Offseason


...film way before eleven

Look on the bright side guys... now we have more time to focusing on scouting!

It all revolves around coaching. I'm beginning to think Marvin just doesn't care anymore.

Gruden was predicting the plays from the booth.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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