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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Depressing Bengals Fact of the Day | Main | PFTV on Bengals Back to Bungles »

November 18, 2010


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I'm strangely happy we have finally ended this artificial sellout streak. No bailout this time. I only wish it would hit Mike Brown in the pocketbook. It's the fans who suffer (again).

It's a sliver of good news, but good news nonetheless.

There are so many better ways to spend your money on a Sunday afternoon.

Yeah! The Browns will be on tv,I won't have to wonder why I wasted my day watching MB's losers.

i saw that it was being shown on for free this weekend, so it looks like people within the 75 mile radius is still gonna be able to watch this showdown between two terrible franchises.

"grab the kids and grandpa, gather round the big screen, i mean the laptop....who wants their ramen spicy????"

from Doc this morning on TML:

"You guys talk about walkouts, boycotts etc. Individual ticket sales dont do much for ownership’s wallets. Lux-box dough does. If the corporate community decided it was fed up, and acted on it, things might change."

this is the goal. not sure how we can motivate corporations to NOT buy luxury boxes but that's for the rest of you to figure out. viva

OK, I am going to 'play this one out!'

Sunday morning -- Dateline 11/20/2010 9AM Mike Brown -- for release... The Cincinnati Bengals are PROUD to announce that their 50+ game sellout streak is intact! New advertising rates to follow...

There's the headline -- will it happen? I don't know -- probably not -- but it could and it would demonstrate the glaring stupidity of saying that their 'streak' is over. All that the 1 p.m. deadline is for is for LOCAL TELEVISION BROADCAST! Get it? If the Bengals haven't sold out a weekend home game BY 1pm local time, it means that they cannot CANNOT be televised with local markets within 50 miles of the stadium -- period -- END OF STORY! The 'Sellout' streak that the Browns 'rest on' has NOTHING (say it with me again, genius) NOTHING to do with the television aspect of the collective agreements with the NFL, the team and the associated network -- NOTHING!

In fact, in the past (quite long ago) the Bengals DID manage not to sell out before the 1pm deadline but indeed sold out the game prior to the Sunday start time. The two things are NOT interchangeable -- repeat "NOT INTERCHANGEABLE"!

The more inportant things for Bengals ownership is about local sponsorships and advertising fees which are NOT tied to the TV situation but rather a simple question: Did you or did you NOT sell out the game? These are the fees and rates that ARE charged to any advertising in or outside of PBS. They are NOT DIRECTLY AFFECTED by TV. In fact, TV 'rates' are already contracted in through the NFL and their respective contracts with the network.

If memory serves, local TV gets 3-30 second spots (90 seconds 'in toto' for all those 'bright-ones' on here) per hour for a planned broadcast of 3 hours. That is a pittance for the Bengals. For the 'Crowboys' or the "Gints' that might actually add up to something but in the Cincinnati market -- it is chump-change! Thus it doesn't matter to Mikey Boy Brown one whit if the Bengals are on TV as his money has already been paid to him by the league. In a perfect world, he would lose no fans as a consequence of the Bengals not being televised (and to be honest, I don't think he really does -- at least not measurably nor practical in nature), he wants to keep his advert rates up so he does get the sell-out, then he opens his bank-book to the page where it says that the NFL paid him for the television contract.

As previous, the only way to get Mikey Boy Brown to do something right is to tell him to get the fuck outta town. We had the best possible chance over a decade ago and due to some cocksuckers who couldn't handle not having a team within 15 minutes travel time, their egoes have left us with what we have today. (Note: Again, they didn't want to have a second-class city -- NEWZFLASH for ya: We aren't a first class or second class city right now -- we never were, we never had the capability of being so since Chicago took the cattle yards a century+ ago! -- we are at best a fourth or fifth class city -- AT BEST!).

We gave that up and now, we have to do things the 'hard way' due to some very self-egotistic and self-important shitheads (some of whom I am sure, frequent this website) -- we have to refuse to attend and to buy to the point that MBB has to leave (either by contract inclusion (i.e., lowered to a certain income level if said provision is provided for in his contract with the City/County) or we go deep enough into the contract that it is no longer worth it for MBB to stay (that's when we need to be 'total fuckwads' and add-on a codicil to the agreement to provide funding for an indoor practice facility...).

Gawd, I am glad that I live in another county -- I don't get to experience to full-on, self-adminstered fucking like you guys -- I just get to bend over 'INDIRECTLY!'

IOW, quit yer bitchin' because you caused all of this by acting like little babies -- instead of adults. Ye reap what ye sow -- so quit yer bitchin'!

wch, you shouldn't drink so much caffeine at 1am, it makes you cranky.

Even if Mikey is able to sell the remaining 5K or so tickets (pure guess on my part) and declare a sellout, who cares? The million or so (pure guess again) local NFL junkies who make it a habit of wasting their Sunday afternoon watching Mikey's putrid excuse of an NFL team take the field and find new ways lose each week can now begin the rehab process by finding something better to do on Sunday. Once we realize we can live without the Bungals on Sundays, it becomes easier every week. Mikey loses TV advertising revenues, then merchandise revenues, etc, etc. As people free themselves from his tyranny, eventually he should get the message. It happened before then he brought Marvin in and supposedly gave him the keys to the team. I know that gave us all hope until it became obvious that was just a ruse. But, fool me once.....................

Hi, my name is Ken, I've been clean (from watching the Bungals) for 3 weeks now and have found that Sunday afternoons are much better now that I am no longer cursing the TV, kicking the dog and yelling at my wife because the Bungals put me such a bad mood. I have been able to constructively spend that time with my wife and family. You should try it as well.

To my fellow Comrades,

I have officially given up on the NFL and my Bengals. For 20 years I have watched every single Bengals game. I have never seen a team so ok with losing. Even during the bad years(I laugh as I write that) it seemed as though the team cared when they lost. Now to watch them lose and not even get bothered by it, is like a kick in the nuts.

I wish I could like another team but I can't just jump on a band wagon and say they are my team. I loved the NFL and it got me through some rough periods in my life but now I find myself truly not enjoying the game. To be the butt of every joke, when players say "no thanks" to offers and to see no change anytime soon. I quit. I give up. I have found that reading, going shopping with my girl, cleaning the house, doing laundry or just going to work is infinitely more enjoyable than watching the bengals(the lowercase was on purpose).

Goodbye NFL, in a way I will miss you but I have to move on


I live in DC and have Sunday ticket. I'd argue you all are better off.

I'm with you, Lex. I wish I could just like the Colts or something but it doesn't work like that.

someone needs to turn the power off to the stadium... that way no-one would have to be exposed to the horri-bowl. both teams 2-8 after sunday!

Oh, no, blackout;

Let's have a candlelight vigil...

I think it be great if everyone at the game wore black blindfolds...yeah, I'm talking to you people in the luxury boxes...

'matter-o'-fact, I think the team should be forced to wear black blindfolds too...under their helmets, or their Motorola headsets, as the case may be

btw, this is all our fault for being such babies

"Sunday morning -- Dateline 11/20/2010 9AM Mike Brown -- for release... The Cincinnati Bengals are PROUD to announce that their 50+ game sellout streak is intact! New advertising rates to follow...

There's the headline -- will it happen? I don't know -- probably not -- but it could and it would demonstrate the glaring stupidity of saying that their 'streak' is over"

Put it this way: the streaking will *not* be televised.

Make no mistake though; it *will* happen, as MFB is too cheap to hire fast/extra security...he'd sooner pay them to suit up on the sidelines

Nothing like getting tazed in the bojangles, on national TV (except in your hometown)

While we are all bitching about how horrible our Bungles are, I have great news to report. My fool of a best friend not only bought my season tickets for the remaining games this season, but the fool also bought both of my COAs as well and he paid in cash! Just like Mikey Boy Brown, I'm laughing all the way to the bank!

The next penny I spend related to the team Mike Brown owns is the refreshments I will buy for the celebration I plan to throw after he dies.

Steve Simon,

You, sir, are an asshole. That's a horrible horrible injustice you just inflicted on that poor soul, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"The next penny I spend related to the team Mike Brown owns is the refreshments I will buy for the celebration I plan to throw after he dies."


Reply to Bengals statement:

Go fuck yourself.

Thank God I moved to Seattle 10 years ago. While I'll never have the same childlike passion for the Seahawks that I did for the Bengals, it's a great team to root for. A good owner with typically good coaches. There's a lot to like about the Hawks and the fans are great. I go to a lot of games a year and find myself becoming a bigger fan of this team every year. But I can't lie to myself. I've grown into a legitimate fan of a team other than the Bengals, I didn't cry when they lost to Pitt in the superbowl, like I did when Bengals lost to 49ers in 89 when I was 10 years old. So while you will never be able to completely replace the passion of your childhood team with another team, after a long amount of time you can at least enjoy the NFL again with another team. But it's got to be the right one and luckily for me I ended up in Seattle and not Boston or Pittsburgh or Dallas.

I know it's not the same, but I've started to shift my enthusiasm to the Reds. They are on the verge of being a great organization once again. But, we all know baseball isn't the same as football, and since I played football for 10 years and grew up loving the Bengals, I'm just as miserable as everyone else here.

Trying to shift your love to another franchise is really tough. I tried to do it when I lived in DC, but the Skins suck, too. Now that I'm in NYC, I thought about trying to root for the Giants, but I just can't do it. The NFC is kind of lame. But, I am proud that I no longer watch the Bengals games - not even on the Internet. It's sort of like quitting smoking: it's gotta be all or nothing. And eventually you just stop thinking about it (clearly, I'm not there yet, but I'm getting closer).

I root for the Chicago Bears now. The Bears became my default team in 2008, when Carson went down and we plummeted yet again. I also tinkered with defecting to the Buffalo Bills during the 2-14 2002 season, as the Bills had potential with newly acquired Drew Bledsoe. I stuck with the Bengals in 2003 because I wanted Marvin to come here and he did. But alas, the shit pile is too big and Marvin is only one man.

In 2008, I struggled with leaving the team I cheered for 18 years. I came to the realization the MB was the problem and knew I had to seperate the ownership from everything else about the team I liked (players, colors, city). I was able to do that and it was great last year. I am proud to say I've changed quite a bit since I've become a bengal fan. I used to watch every pre game known to man, followed by the 1pm game, (usually watching the ticker that popped up on the screen every 15 minutes or so to update games around the league, including the Bengals) 4pm and 8pm games with a Sportscenter as a chaser. As of this year, I don't watch any pre-games and MAY watch Cincy at the bar or listen on internet radio. It is very liberating indeed!! not to be glued to the tube, rooting for such a wretched franchise.

I truly enjoy watching the Bears and while I will always be a Bengal fan first, I stand as a testament that you can fundamentally enjoy cheering on another team.

Who Dey gonna beat those bengals when Mikey Boy leaves....NOOOBODY!!!


You live in NYC and the Giants are the only team you'd consider rooting for, yet you think the NFC is lame? There's something wrong with this picture. Head on over to Kissing Suzy Kolber (there's a link on here somewhere) and search for the tag "Rex Ryan: Greatest Coach Ever" - if that doesn't make you a Jets fan, there's something wrong with you.

To Mr Mike Brown: Go fuck yourself.

These comments about how to root for another team, it's like telling a friend that your wife doesn't kiss with enough tongue and having him tell you that you should try making out with men. That's what he does.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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