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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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November 05, 2010

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Sad to hear of a loss of funding, wish I was a rich fuck, I would gladly fund anything WDR. But then again, if I were a rich fuck, I would be pressuring Mikey to sell me his team (You know, unlimited Denny's for life, free oil changes, and a promise to pursue Plaxico when he returns to the game).
Hmmmm, inexpensive PMs, hmmmmmmm, with no funding, the cause seems almost relegated to an old fashioned protest on game day. Cost-minimal, as one would only have to pay for signs, and booze of course for those of us that partake. perhaps we should be prepared with some protection as well? I vote fo the SNF game in December, we will be woeful at that point and given a national audience (wait, we'll get bumped by then, neverfuckingmind). Whatever, that's the best I got right now.

Here comes the fastest 200!

How about everybody gives their tickets to visiting fans? I obviously hate the Steelers, almost as much as I hate their fans. Though it's MNF, so it would be highly publicized, but it's probably too late to put it together. We could definitely do it for the Cleveland game though - c'mon, they've sucked for years and they just went through the Lebron thing. They deserve to watch their surprisingly good team.

The extent of the cost would be taking out an ad in the Plain Dealer - though there's a chance they'd run it as an article/story for free if the story is pitched to them.

compile a list of 200 reason why mike brown is the most incompetent human being in sports history.

have everyone print it off and sent it to the front office? if it can be done soon have everyone email it to the ESPN and the MNF commentators? maybe, just maybe, they'll at least point out during the broadcast that if (WHEN) the bengals lose that MB will be the quickest to 200.

pass out flyer's at the game w/ just '200' on it? on the back you can pimp out WDR website for some return investment on the cost of printing.

how about a new cardiac cats t-shirt w/ a flat line EEG to fund the revolution? that i would buy.


Regardless of the game's outcome, it's always good times making fun of the Stillers and their Stiller ilk, i.e. their Stilk

The back links are great, national treasures...the award-winning slice-of-[barf] photographs, everything

I wish the revolution was complete, so we could throw shampoo bottles at Troy "Head-And-No-Shoulders SHAMPOOLAMALU

Call me radical or call me inspired, but:

How about everybody *not* have any PBS tickets in the first place?

Crazy! MAYHEM

Idea# 2: We make soap from the lipo of Peko's fat ass, maybe even make shampoo out of it, and then give or sell it to Troy Shampoolamalu...I'm sure he'd love it


Here's my idea for Project MAYHEM:

Take a gallon jug or the like, and

Go to the Hofbräuhaus.

Have your jug filled with the freshest Brau from their bright-tanks.

Cross the bridge from Newport, and go drink in the parking lot at PBS.

Wear a "VERNORS" t-shirt, so that people think you're drinking ginger ale (maybe even use a Vernors 2-liter bottle).

After you've had a few sips, and your speech has begun to slur, clutch your Brau in one fist, shake your other fist at PBS, and mumble loudly:

"Blast you, Mike Brown...blast you..."

Feel free to take a break now and then, and have another sip, of the finest, freshest beer available locally, that is not anyone's home project, which they put together from The Party Source


Troy Polamalu
(I mean, "Shampoolamalu", there, that's better)
thinks the utility company has too much power

Bring back the urinal cakes!

Here's my idea for a cheap project mayhem. It's like hella cheap and way radical.

Don't go to the game

Don't watch it

Don't buy any bengals gear

Don't shop at any of their major sponsors places of business

I read John Thorntons blog at the enquirer and he made a valid point. This years debacle is more the coaches and players fault than Mike Brown's. I hate that cocksucker so don't get the wrong idea. But, Mike wins his division and did add a piece or two in the off season. He was probably thinking they would be better than last year, as did we all.

What we have to drill into Mikes head is that staffing and personnel changes must be made and he needs to hire someone to make them because he and the family are not qualified.

That's really it isn't it? Mike is not qualified to evaluate and identify the coaches and players needed.

Hand out a number of printouts that just contain the giant letters "GM".


Don't even *watch* the game?

That is radical



If nothing else, it would be great to see a "WDR" banner on TV on Monday Night Football...they know who we are

MFB only thinks $$$$$. The only way to get him to make major changes is not to go to the games and of course then the Project Mayhem's work with wonders. MFB will not change unless his pockets are hit. I don't know how many times this has been discussed, but that is the most common sense solution. Fans will never get it. It will get the other NFL owners attention because there is a revenue sharing on gate receipts.

If MFB is collecting from other teams on gate receipts and he is not pulling his weight than the other owners will pipe in. Why do you guys think MFB voted against the CBA the last time? lol It is always about him making money and not losing it. All you have to do is Google NFL Revenue Sharing and read all the articles on how the system works. Click on the Vanderbilt Law PDF and read. It is all covered in there from the CBA agreement in 2006.

Lastly, the Steelers are really favored by 8 points because the home team always gets an automatic 3 points. Shoot, they should be favored by 14 pts. It will not matter. They will Bungal there way to yet another loss and the SHEEP will continue to FLOCK to the Circus!

I need someone to explain to me why we're not openly boycotting the corporate sponsors, especially those that bail out Mikey and buy tickets at the last moment to avoid a blackout. Give us a list of companies and their (e)mailing addresses, so that we can send a letter letting them know we won't buy their products as long as they support a Mikey-run franchise. Several people have suggested this: why aren't we already doing it?

@ Leo,

Definitely, we need a blatant, prominent list, posted on the WDR website, posted as a link, or a sidebar, similar to the Manifesto, where everyone can see it, and know exactly what it is...

I can think of a few now...Kroger...Gold Star...State Farm (?)...(local banks?)

Food sold inside PBS: Donato's...Queen City Brats/Metts...Montgomery Inn

Dang...MNF week sucks about as bad as Bye week...and of course, usually worse after the game

Welcome to last place. The Browns beat the Patriots.

I have an idea for Project Mayhem that is cheap and I believe will make a statement. It would literally have to be done late tonight or late tomorrow night (pending the results of the game), tonight would be best though as it would get coverage on the MNF telecast, I'm sure. Basically, you get a blank white banner or a LARGE ream of butcher paper and paint "GM now!" or Mike Brown's record with an "= GM now!", or something of the like. You then tape/hang it to the Pro Shop front, thusmaking a statement that you won't be buying any Bengals' goods until this happens. You then subsequently take numerous pictures and send them to Yahoo!, MSN and other media outlets promoting this. It could catch fire quickly.
Another option, especially if you don't like the hint of vandalism attached to my proposed idea, you can basically picket in front of the pro shop tomorrow (particularly if you're going to tailgate), with the same sign and make a production of it before the MNF game. If people are allowed to picket and strike in front of their places of employment, you hooked be able to do this. Either way, it could be effective. employment, you hooked be able to do this. Either way, it could be effective.

Why don't you try to use your blog to get a gathering outside the stadium tomorrow night in front of all the television cameras advertising our disgust for Mike Brown. At least some attention will be brought. However, you probably need a little more planning than tonight

Cardboard cutout of Mike Brown - light on fire. Then piss on fire. That works for me.

After some nice Twitter banter with Joe Reedy, I think it's time to bring media attention to the cause OR put start putting pressure on media folks.

Saw that Luke. Strange. It's like Reedy doesn't want to even entertain the "Bengals are rotten from the top" argument anymore just because it's boring and unoriginal. Well, yes, it is boring and unoriginal but it's also true. And as a journalist, things that are true should probably receive the focus.

And for him to wonder why people don't go after the Reds for their lack of success like they do the Bengals is just flat out ignorant. It's as if he believes the models for the leagues are somehow equal. Insane.

But what do I know, I'm just a blogger who insults media members and their families.

We could picket wherever the commish is hangin out. From Reedy:

Commissioner Roger Goodell will be in Cincinnati tomorrow for the Bengals-Steelers Monday Night game. He will be at Music Hall tomorrow for the ESPN Chalk Talk Series, which will feature former Bengals and Steelers greats (the event is sold out) and then tailgate with fans in Lot E before the game. The more than 100 tailgaters for this event were selected from among the team’s longtime season-ticket holders and many of the fans who tailgate at the lot.

I'm down with Vince, Dr. Iff & CarlPickensClause's ideas!

Wish I was in Cincy because I would track down wherever Goodell was if I had to visit each individual parking spot...

Guys, I emailed Reedy two years ago with the WDR talking points, questioning why Mike Brown's ineptitude doesn't get more attention. His response, verbatim, was "This is nothing new - why talk about it now?"

Joe Reedy's been on my Douchebag List since that fateful day.

Scratch that - upon reviewing my email, it was December 2009, not December 2008, as I originally thought.

Following my own investigation, millions of persons in the world receive the home loans at well known banks. Hence, there is a good chance to get a short term loan in every country.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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