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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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The entire organization is broken. The coaching. The scouting. The medical staff. The personnel. The team spirit. And most of all the management. Not a single aspect of this franchise is run at an NFL level. But we all knew that much already.

And as we have already beaten to death, the ONLY road out of this deep of a MFB-dug hellhole is a kickass coach with the knowledge and the control to fix it. But we all know that Mike Brown ain't going there. Welcome, sir, to the machine.

Phillips is gone in Dallas.
Childress is gone in Minnesota.
What does it say that the Bengals won't make Zimmer the interim?

It doesn't matter if you make Zimmer the interim if you've got no scouts, shitty team doctors, no general manager, etc.
It's just musical chairs on the deck of the Titanic.

It won't be fixed until Mike Brown is dead or sells the team.

Here we go again, boys.

Think back, all the way back, to late 2002. Dick LeBeau, widely respected defensive coordinator, goes 2-14 as the Cincinnati Bengals head coach, in what would prove to be his final season in that position. Fan unrest was at an all-time high (for that point at least), so Mikey Brown dropped the ax, and hired a promising defensive coordinator who was seen as a breath of fresh air to an organization that needed one badly. A few months later, they drafted the can't-miss, Heisman-winning quarterback from a PAC-10 school in California, and optimism overtook the downtrodden fanbase. 8 years later, we've gotten two winning seasons, two more non-losing seasons, zero playoff wins, a bunch of draft picks that didn't pan out, and what's shaping up to be another 2-14 season, with fan unrest creeping ever higher.

Mikey Boy's looking to hit the reset switch - new head coach is almost guaranteed, we're inching ever closer to that first pick in the draft and there just so happens to be a can't-miss, likely-Heisman-winning quarterback from a PAC-10 school in California, and Mikey can cut Carson with very little, if any, financial ramifications.

The sad thing is that there are enough sheep-like Bengals fans out there that if he were to do that, once they were done being butt-hurt about Carson getting cut, they'd be right back in line to buy tickets.

@Wyatt: That's the thing there's suckers born every minute.

Mikey Boy can probably keep up this wash, rinse, repeat act until he's a 90+ year old like the bastard in Buffalo.

Not only should all fan spending on this perpetual train wreck cease and desist, but any support from fans for the coporate sponsers should stop as well. Maybe if MFB's corporate enablers put some pressure on King Bunghole, he might get the message. Not likely, but you just never know.

This is all BS. How many WDR writers went to the playoff game last year? I would love to see the rationale behind attending the game by the bloggers who attended. Call me crazy, but in my mind, attending that game is equal to supporting MB. You obviously believed MB was turning it around, right? I just can't believe the people behind WDR are like the other sheep in Cincy who will take any of the crumbs MB throws us. Or did you throw away all your rules to go to a Bengals playoff game.

Hate to break it to you but your boycotts will only make an impact if Bengals fans don't go to games, especially the important ones.

I fully bought into WDR a few years back, I even supported it financially. Unfortunately, WDR lost all credibility when some of the more prominent members went to the playoff game last year. I haven't spent a dime on the NFL since i sold my season tickets in the summer of 2007. Its actually surprising how little i miss paying MB to kick me in the balls every year.

have fun planning and executing all your next project mayhem initiatives.....then conveniently forgetting your scruples when we get our next "flash in the pan."


Who went to the playoff game last year? I somehow missed that. (And I'm being honest here, not sarcastic.)

I appreciate your idea here. Definitely it has a good content. Thank you for imparting more of your own thoughts. Good job!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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