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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Pickin Games With Uncle Chin | Main | Bengals Think First Place Schedule & Low Draft Pick Status Not Big Enough Hurdles For This Season, Look To Self Impose Additional Handicaps »

October 03, 2010


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That game was a fantastic way to spend a sunday afternoon!!!

It is officially time for Marvin to go somewhere else.

What we are seeing is a carbon copy of last year. The problem was that some breaks (enough of them anyways) happened to go the Bengals' way to enable them to win the division. I don't know of right-minded people actually thinking that moments before playing the Jets at the end of the year, the Bengals were a team that would win a game against a quality opponent.

No, I am not talking about the idiots who think that because it is their team, the Bengals will win against everyone -- that type of rationale. You also had to the people on here who proved that they really didn't care if the team was run by schmucks and that these same people didn't give a damn about this website's manifesto and what it was formed with and the reasons it was so formed but rather only cared if the team was winning (that some REAL 'sticktoitiveness' there folks!) and showed their true allegiances (pathetic btw).

Let's just understand that the problems are bad and indeed NUMEROUS! I would caution that all the current Carson Palmer haters, they need to remember Esiason circa 1990 and indeed Ken Anderson from 1977-1980. Both QB's sucked and then had various resurgences. I can remember my dad saying that Anderson being beheaded wouldbe good for the team back then (then he lead us to our first Super Bowl). So I can't say with absoluteness that Palmer is in a down year and going to pop back up here shortly, but remember, it has happened before!

As well, you could have #6 for the Bears -- JAYYYYY CUTLEEERRRRRRRRRRRR! There's 'Mr. Giveup' and sell your teammates down the river -- HIMSELF! So folks in Bengaland.... it could be worse.

Just to touch on Cutler (Why was he ever playing in the NFL as a QB with Denver -- much less Chicago? The guy may have a bullet capable arm, but he has no skill otherwise and not touch -- Kinda like Pete Koch from years back! I hate this crap when someone says: "Ya can't teach an arm capable of 60+ yards," or "Ya can't teach 4.3 speed"... ...Because you are forgetting the basics of playing the game. One can run like the wind but if they can't hold on to the football, what does it matter that they can run? What does it matter that one can throw a ball 60 yards in the air if you can't get it within 2 yards of a receiver EVERY TIME! See, there is more to it than just a single intrinsic skill. Anyway, my bet is that Jay Cutler might play in two more games (and yoeman duty for some others) for the Bears. The play that he collapsed (and was supposed to have caused his concussion... he didn't hit his head. He was wrapped up by a DB who rotated to his side (left to right on Cutler's back). No contact whatsoever was made to Cutler's brainless head! He was faking it. All that was happening with him was that he was pissed off getting sacked so much -- not considering that he himself caused or presented the reason why he was sacked so much. He quit like the pussy he is and has always been. Go back to your girlfriend -- Kristen Cavaliri (or whatever her name is). I bet that won't last long once you are out of the league!

The Bears, of course, will be 'circling the wagons' around Gutless Cutler (hell, let's just cut to the chase and start calling him 'Gutless' ok?). But... when the other players see the video of Gutless going down with a concussion that he doesn't have -- and then see video where he did the same thing in Denver back in the day... My bet is that he will have lost the team immediately. The Bears might say that he is having problems recovering from the concussion -- or make some other shit up but... it'll just be that they can't 'move' Gutless and thus he rides the pines until the post season. Anyway, that's MY interpetation.

Gutless = No Heart!


I prefer "Cutlerfucker" used by King Lazerface over on KSK.


Anyone else notice a trend here? Carson goes off statistically, the Bengals lose. Carson plays shittily, the Bengals win ugly. I'll be honest - I'd take a Roethlisbergerian Super Bowl XL performance every week if it meant a win (and a Super Bowl title). Unfortunately, we all know that's not happening, and that the correlation I just pointed out is more based in coincidence than any kind of actual trending. But dealing in mindless speculation at this point hurts less than thinking about the fact that the Bengals just lost to the Browns.

I guess it's okay to lose to the 0-3 Browns,

as long as we continue to pad T.O.'s numbers

so he can be #1 all-time whatever

I read some stat today that the Bengals have lost 7 of the last 8 games in which Carson threw for over 300 yards. No clue what to do with that.

That's not unusual, Buzz. Unless you're a guy like a Peyton Manning or a Drew Brees (an elite rare talent on a pass-first offense), 300 yard games often mean you're playing from behind.

Aaron Rodgers' day was a great example: 12 of 17 for 181 yards and 3 TDs. He didn't need 300 yards because they got up early and were disciplined enough and capable enough of getting some yards on the ground to hold a lead. He also threw two picks, which you could point to as reason the game with the Lions was as close as it was.

Kyle Orton also broke 300 yards this week and won, but spent a large portion of the second half trailing Tennessee (and the Broncos ground game is weak without Moreno).

Point the Bengals aren't the Packers, or even the Broncos. And I'd be willing to say at this point that Carson Palmer isn't only not Aaron Rodgers - he's not even Kyle Orton. The Bengals came out with the intent of using this game to give Carson and the pass offense a spark. I guess to some extent they succeeded, but the play calling was still awful in all the same usually awful ways. I had to just throw my hands up in exasperation when, out of halftime, Bratkowski decided to run Benson into a wall on the first offensive play. Sure, he averaged 4 yards per carry, but T.O. was obviously the hot hand, and when Palmer wasn't fumbling it he was finding Owens reasonably well. But I could just envision Bratkowski chanting his "establish the run" mantra, down 20-10.

What I'm trying to get at is that this isn't the old Carson, it's Old Carson. 300 yard passing days aren't the offensive philosophy anymore, despite Brat thinking he has every right to believe that he can run for 200 yards while still getting 500 by air. We have a big, slow, dumb offensive line that's still starting guys like Dennis Roland and Nate Livings, and are liabilities in pass protection. Even Whitworth is good for a hold once a game, like clockwork. So it's an offensive line built for the sole purpose of mauling people to clear running lanes, and now they're struggling at that as well, forcing Palmer to throw to win, and Palmer isn't capable of doing that at this point in his career. 2-2 isn't a fluke, because despite Peyton Hillis being apparently impossible to tackle, Zimmer's defense is legit. But don't look at Carson's stats this game and think the world is right with the offense. You don't lose to the Browns if everything's going peachy.

Why keep throwing to T.O.,
only to ruin the momentum once you get to the red zone, with already-read run-offense plays going nowhere?

Talk about trends.....have the offense do well while running the no-huddle, (Brat not calling the plays) and then get to the red zone and start huddling and having Brat call the plays and go nowhere (except between the uprights for 3).

How the Clowns did not know that was a shovel pass to Leonard is beyond me, my 6 year old called that one.

Fuck you Dennis Roland. And Ocho, you hamburglar.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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