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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« FIRE BRATKOWSKI! | Main | Why? Why? Why? »

October 13, 2010

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They might have thrown the ball on 2nd down. Or on the previous drive. But no, after 8 run/dink plays Bratworst suddenly realizes that if they get one first down they win. If you're going to throw on 3rd and 13 there you go to the sidelines where they don't expect it. Wouldn't have mattered if they go out of bounds on a completion if they get a first down on the play since there would be less than 2 and a half minutes left, 1st down, and other guys out of timeouts.

Bratworst's a friggin moron. He won't work again in the NFL. Like Dave Shula. They should work together at the steakhouse.

"'We knew if we got a first down, the game was over,' Bratkowski said."

Wow, Gomer, it sure is good we got us a edumakated guy running the offense to figure out hard stuff like that.

(smack head on desk. repeatedly.)

It sure would be nice to see Bobbo take this approach in, say, the first half. String a few of those new-fangled 'first down' thingies together and you'll probably end up with a TD. Put a few TDs together and SHAZAM!! The game is over! And without having to do something stupid in the final minutes.

I hereby and forevermore shorten Bobbo's job title from Offensive Coordinator to just "Offensive".

For most of the last decade the mantra has been "We're inconsistent and made mistakes. We just need to lose attitudes and work harder."

No, you are a fucking incompetent organization that can only win when your schedule is week and other teams look past you.

Its all spin at this point.


That picture, complete with John Madden CBS Chalkboard on it, is a great picture of a great play about to not happen

Great post Bien.

Another great example of how Hob just covers this stuff up. The photo says it all that the ball has not left Palmer's hand and TO is in his break.

Now not only is Brat an incompetent OC, he is a liar. I love it!

Geoff Hobson is the Sean Hannity of Cincinnati Bengals news, always buffing the cock of the mighty elephant (republican) or in this case Mike Brown is the elephant.

WDR is the Alex Jones of Cincinnati Bengals news. Letting people know that shit is fucked up, and it's our obligation to be pissed about it.

this is frustrating.

@Kevin Jones:

Let's leave politics out of the discussion, huh? The Democrats have been in charge for two years now, and shit's still fucked up. It's not a Republican thing or a Democrat thing, it's a "same old politics as usual" thing, and it has no place on a football blog.

@Wyatt:

Sorry. No offense to you or anybody else who didn't care for the comment. I wasn't attempting to make it Republican/Democrat thing, more of an Establishment/Revolutionaries type of thing.

Marvin-speak is just a slightly different flavor of Dave Shula speak or Dick Lebeau speak or Hobspeak. "We'll get that cleaned up" followed by -- wait for it -- another 8 or 9 pre-snap penalties next frigging Sunday. Cincinnati Groundhogs, now in their 20th season.

It's funny when some of the other sites Bengals fans always write "we have loads of talent" "if we could only execute" but actually the talent level's not that awesome and even the Bengals thought so last year, viewing themselves as the players nobody else wanted. The only position where the talent level is way up there, right now, is CB. And if JJo leaves then they've got no positions with way up there talent.


Our offense seems very static, in the way they run plays...they are not afforded (or they do not afford themselves) much latitude, when it comes to the play action, as would a more dynamic offense...

...notable exceptions being the times they go with the no-huddle offense, and when T.O. does things like in the play pictured above


and by that I'm referring to the *adaptive* route he's running and not the fact that the pass
(which was thrown behind him) was intercepted

Having an indoor practice facility will solve all of this...

Right echo all we care about is the practice facility that's why it's the one and only demand... wait, what?


ahh, hmmm, let's see...practice facility, OC, etc. etc.

VIVA La Revolución!

What's the over/under on the Bengals losing against the bye week? My guess is Palmer has two interceptions.


Only because he is forcing his throws against Atlanta *right now as I post this*....

TO and Bengal are like to be fix their word but this will not make the fans mind as they don't take it seriously. Throwing ball to a long distance may difficult but it could recover their pride.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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