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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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October 08, 2010


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Hooray for non-productive Friday!

All end-user needs can wait, and I'm glad for that : )

i love links!!!

totally agree on the early season "game predictor" models. for example, espn's "accuscore" system had the browns as 59% favorites last week, BUT, if carson palmer had a 2:1 or better TD:INT ratio the bengals went from 41% underdogs to 70% favorites. what happened? well palmer of course rocks a 2:0 TD:INT ratio and the bengals lose. thats what.

also, here's another fun link: by a guy i used to follow a lot more when i was more fanatical about sabermetrics/baseball stats who has turned to more football these days. for the record his "model" had the bengals as 82% confidence favorites vs cleveland last week. hes also starting a really interesting project on linemen holding blocks, which i am going to try to get him to run for the bengals too.

i think we win big sunday, i'll go ahead and state that for the record

can someone fucking stab chase utley in a major artery. mother fucker fakes getting hit by a pitch. was so fucking out at second you could see it from the conan blimp. and skipped his fagotty ass over third base yet he is allowed to score. no need to look for jimmy hoffa in jersey - he's directing the umpire crew in philly.

Anyone remember the Bucs/Bengals game from 2006? Tampa Bay won 14-13 because Marvin sucks at managing the clock? Yeah, me neither, I guess.

I seem to remember Tampa winning that game because Mike Carey called roughing the passer on Justin Smith for a clean sack.

That game-winning drive by Tampa Bay? Yeah, that wouldn't have happened if Marvin had any concept of clock management.

I saw even CBS has a blog entry about how shitty Mike Brown is and why it means Marvin is probably gone.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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