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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 30, 2010


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Totally agree. Playing the way this team has through 3 weeks for an entire season will not give you a whole lot of wins...especially agains the elite teams in the league. I'd rather not ever make the playoffs than just barely back our way in only to have a more elite team stomp us down in the first round and remind us we really aren't as good as we hoped we were.

Combine the fact that our offense is still in the offseason with the fact that the Bengals have a long history of playing down to the level of their opponent, I can totally agree with a 63% chance of losing. Infact, since I am as clairvoyant as the best of pundits, I'm willing to say we have a 75% chance of losing against a team that we should easily wipe our cleats on. Marvin is a douche. I don't want his lousy apology for winning. I want a team that looks solid on both sides of the ball like, I dont know... The Saints?

I've always said Marvin is a good practice coach - good motivator, reasonable at assessing talent, good at teaching fundamentals and techniques - but a horrible game coach. I wish we could have him coach all week, then sit him in the stands on Sunday and let a good Madden player take the headset for a couple hours.

What happened at the end of the first half last week was ... well, it's what happens when you have a dope at right tackle and a coach with clock management skills that make Art Shell look like Stephen Hawking.

The problem with the mental concept of: 'A win is a win...' is that it is ONLY applicable in a case of an inordinary occurence taking place. Where that 'old saw' loses validity is when it is applied to a situation where mediocre and ordinary things are taking effect and one is 'just gettin' by'!

The law of averages will settle this thing -- its validity -- and that is how people need to look at it. If left to their own devices, the Bengals continuously playing like they have, my best average guess would be that they go 6-10 or 7-9 (again, this is an 'at-best' guess). Obviously this connotes that there is a problem and it NEEDS TO BE CURRENTLY ADDRESSED AND SOLVED. 'A win is a win' connotes that the level of play is nothing but a weird circumstance and that things are going fine other than these anomolies.

Let people spout off this 'A win is a win' garbage all they want but they are refusing to deal with the real-life situation.

Well stated, nothing that I can add that hasn't been said. The Art Shell to Stephen Hawking comparison is pretty funny, bravo.

To quote Marvin himself: "I see better than I hear."

I hear Marvin saying that he is not concerned about the offense, but what I see is a whole lot of crap to be plenty concerned about. Carson throws high and/or behind receivers. Chad short-arms balls. Andre Smith is getting deactivated when, as a first round pick, he ought to be starting. The line is vaguely familiar with the concept of a snap count. One of their best weapons, Bernard Scott, is hardly getting used. A missing persons alert has been posted for Jerome Simpson while Dez Briscoe enjoys the sun in Tampa.

As Marvin condescends to questions about the offense, he sure sounds plenty irritated but he never sounds surprised. He knows the questions are coming because he sees the same load of monkey poo that we do.

We've seen enough to know that if not for putrid play from Joe Flacco, this team is 1-2 right now because of the only slightly less putrid play of the Bengals offense. And while we appreciate Flacco's generosity, it doesn't negate the serious flaws we see. Teams in the back half of the schedule will not be as generous.

In commenting on the Bengals, Bill Cowher said it can be good for teams to struggle but win early because it keeps them working hard to improve rather than getting comfortable. With Bratkowski's contract extension, the Bengals have ensured that the offense will have plenty to work on for the next 3 years. With the glacial pace that they are correcting the problems with false starts, delay of game, etc. and a few more extensions for Bo-Bo, the Bengals should have that high-octane offense humming around 2025.

Some time ago, I did need to buy a good car for my business but I didn't earn enough money and could not purchase anything. Thank God my dude proposed to try to get the business loans from reliable creditors. Thence, I did so and used to be happy with my financial loan.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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