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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 12, 2010

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Horrible game. Everyone sucked: coaches (Zimmer, Brat, Simmons, etc.); OL, Palmer, Dhani Jones, secondary.

I am really dumbfounded by this game. I thought that they should be able to go in to the Pats home and physically beat them. The Pats mentally and physically pummeled them and then skull fucked them for the hell of it. They looked dumb, slow, and flat. I think if this wasn't a nationally televised game, we might have done better (I am looking for anything).

Zimmer called a horrible defensive game. It was like he was not prepared for what the Pats did today (there is like 7 years of tape on Brady/Moss/Welker). I don't think I saw Michael Johnson in the backfield once nor did I see any pressure on Brady- not good. Zimmer was always loosing the chess match with Welker leaving guys like Dhani Jones on him, and couldn't get a hand on Bieber.

Side Note- can we start a movement on getting Jones benched. He sucks in the middle (can't hit and can't cover: he doesn't scare anyone); Brady took advantage of him all day. I hope Zimmer gets to watch the Packers game b/c the Eagles are exhibiting what our defense should have looked like.

Brat was Brat. I did like the first series in that they had Smith at RT and Roland at TE, and they THREW it. He was saving that one all last year to surprise someone, and they use it on the second play of the game... oh brother. I don't remember seeing that formation again. I still see we kept in our bag of tricks the three yard out on 3rd and 7. Note to Brat and Palmer: it doesn't work.

Palmer missed a wide open Shipley running down the middle of the field at least once. He did look better then last year: better footwork, throwing technique, and more accuracy and zip on the ball.

The bright side is that in 1981, in the first game they sucked so bad they pulled Anderson and then they turned it around the rest of the season and made it to the Super Bowl. Last year we were yelling about the first game loss, and they turned it around with a tough win in Lambeu. We have a huge game at home, and they better be ready or it will be fast track to 6-10.

Bengals are not 1-5 in last 6 games. Try spinning that one.


Shipley was badass in that game


Also, Gresham did *not* look like a rookie out there

"Predicted Bengals.com Headline:

Patriots Edge Bengals, 38-24"


Yep. And it's obvious they read the Party website.

I don't like the way we started. 2 pass, 2 runs, punt (or something like that). The offense didn't move the ball until Palmer started calling the plays.

From what I've heard fans say here is my headline.
"bengaks call league office tell them to take them off the schedule. Team admits since they lost they first game the season is over and the fans should give up."

In related news the Reds were informed by the MLB that they will not be allowed to play in the postseason since Cincinnati fans said the same thing about them in May.

From what I've heard fans say here is my headline:

"Bengals order 2 million more gallons of orange koolaid. Stations will be set up four hours prior to the Ravens game. After the loss, more koolaid will be available in take-home packs to get ready for the remaining 7 home games"

It's one stupid game seriously???? The colts lost today and I don't see their fans jumping off bridges

wow. i mean you were delusional if you thought we were going to go in to foxboro on opening day and mentally and physically beat up on the patriots - i don't care how old they were. regardless of what the national media/blogosphere was saying (they're all just jim ross/wwf at this point), it was at best a 50-50 chance that we would get out of there with a win today. that being said...

despite looking GOD AWFUL on the same kind of shit that always beats us (tight ends anywhere, things bounced outside, getting pressure when it's crucial, getting off the field on 3rd downs, struggling to pick up 1-2 yards on 3rd down, etc.) - yeah, DESPITE all that predictable stuff AND the aforementioned notion up top that this was no gimme anyway, we were a pick 6 and a stupid kick return away from a tie score (i know if we were actually tied, bellicheck would have done some other things differently, but without those ridiculously unprofessional plays, it wouldn't have appeared to be worse than it actually is. we could have had a couple of lucky bounces our way too to get back in it even WITH these bonehead breakdowns (an almost successful hailmary, on-sides kick). plus - benson doesn't fumble like that that often and GOD DAMN IT, DO THE PATS AND STEELERS GET EVERY CALL THEIR WAY RULED ON THE FIELD WHICH GIVES THE REVIEW AN EXCUSE NOT TO OVERTURN OBVIOUS BAD CALLS...INCON'FUCKING'CLUSIVE...typical. anyway, shave 4 points from bullshit, crazyshit, not-going-to-give-a-shit-cause-shit-like-that-don't-happen-very-often td's to field goals, and it could have easily been a nice little road upset, or at least a "respectable" loss...coulda, shoulda, who gives a shit, i guess. 0-1, we've been there before. (i'm more concerned with the fact that shittsburgh got a cheap win today without their therapist on the field...)

that being said -

1. why can't our tight ends/o-line look crisp like the pats and play with badass agression - get out in front of blocks and do it with brute force, not athletic finesse?

2. at least we're consistent on both sides of the ball - we can't stop short passes and we can't complete them...

3. why does chad need i.v.'s every half? stop eating the fucking mcdonald's, chaddy

4. gresham looks good and i was a big big fan of the pick, but he looks finesse too. not mean. gradkowski looked like a roid head, and that made him mean. but he was supposed to have injury issues, so we shall see...

5. we have ZERO intimidating defenders. again, just athletic finesse and potential. i am sentimental and love peko, jumpy, fanene, m.j., jjo even hall. they don't scare me at all. malaluga better come on and dunlap better be a beast cause our roy boy is not going to cut it if it's left to him to lay someone out.

6. i prefer my dhani on the travel channel. looked tusker-esque today. and i love me some dhani.

7. for as much bitching and moaning we all did about wanting to keep every damn draftpick and off-season bargain pick-up, losing special teams constants like heibert, skuta, and hodge showed the dark colored abyss of our new found depth on kick-coverage. this will not end well.

8. we better not get into the habit of just going for 50 yard plus fg's. you think ginger's kicks to the 10 were bad, wait to we turn the ball over at the 45 every time.

9. go no huddle more often - stop doing fancy pants pump fakes and pirouettes - the don't fool anyone but yourself.

10. t.o. looked a little slow. we're still going to need a replacement for slim (r.i.p.)

...had to sit next to fucking pats fans today because my rental unit is up for sale and they picked this fucking day for an open house 1pm-4pm. they were all about how they were going to put up 40points on us before the game and how they help floss tb's new veneers with their pubic hair every morning before collecting them all into plugs for his cartoon cuts.
then cbs cut the feed.

no kool-aid, just a little reality and perspective of past and present - we all know how it feels.

oh yeah - and my #1 suggestion to upgrade our beast balls on the team - sign owen schmitt after his workout on tuesday.

To the "Geez It's Just One Game!" crowd.

You are right about that point. Speaking for myself, however, it is what I *saw* in that one game that would concern me if I hadn't picked the Bengal to go 6-10. "Star" players giving up at the end of the half? A defense that looked like they couldn't stop a toddler's tantrum? An offense that clearly wasn't firing on all thrusters?

It is, in fact, just one game. Let's not overstate anything that happened.

But dismissing it is a mistake as well.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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