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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« On Carson... | Main | Enough is Enough »

September 26, 2010

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What the fuck is up with our QB?

Carson blows.

Why are the Bengals incapable of covering a tight end? Owen Daniels and Antonio Gates DESTROYED them last year, and now this?

That first pick was Chad's fault - he didn't follow through on the inside cut. If he had, easy catch and first down. Because he didn't, horrible interception.

The other misfires (excepting when Gresham fell down and the pass was almost picked) are squarely on Palmer from what I can see. And how about Brat calling that 4 yard over the middle pattern right before half? Or big slow stupid Dennis Roland deciding not to get back to the line before the game clock expired?

HOW ABOUT MIKE FUCKING NUGENT!?!?!

I know I can't be the only one who's glad the Ginger Kid is gone. Already, a 54-yarder, and that 50-yarder had leg to spare. For a guy I'd never heard of prior to the Bengals picking him up, I'm glad they've got him.


It is it just me, or does Carson not use what pass protection he does get from the line? He seems to keep moving to the wrong side of his blockers...

we should just go for it every time on every 4th-and-whatever...we did it once today, and got the first down

I think he should just quit worrying about getting the ball to T.O. and just let things happen naturally


C' Mon Defense YES!!!!! FUMBLE!!!!

Way to slam that Jimmy Clausen Pickle Parlor!!!


Bengals Ball, T.O. on the 24!!!!


Thanks Cook...would have been nice to get 2

....and there it is, the Pickle Parlor's welcome-to-the-NFL momemt, on 4th and 24... : )

well, lets hope Brat gets amnesia and can't coach next year, then draft Rick Stanzi... eh?

how do you claim to be a bengals fan and have never heard of mike nugent before this year? i get it. you're from shittsburg. but seriously - ohio state is a national program and about every third bengals fan and their mother were clamoring for drafting nugent in the first round. as it was, he was drafted in the second round by the jets. don't lose your credibility by talking out loud like that.

the field had a half a foot of water on it. for chaddy, his game is practically muted when conditions are like that. he relies on cutting and quick moves and it's just not going to happen on a day like today.

an elite quarterback and o.c. would recognize that and call/execute better plays. t.o. is a bastard prima donna pure and simple. we all know that and we're just trying to pretend that we don't have to learn from history. if the pass isn't spot on, he's not fighting for it. when called in to block, he can hardly bring himself to fake it. again, an elite q.b. who is confident in his own abilities and leadership skills would just ignore t.o.'s shit and stop trying to press making him happy.

other than that - carson needs to get his head out of his ass or pack it in for lefevour. what's the complete kick in the teeth is that due to his utter control over the organization, we have zero backup option just to go to in a moment we need a little spark. he has mandated that his brother stay on the squad and now all our eggs are in the brothers runpee's basket. it's beyond frustrating that we've seen what he is capable of. at present, he doesn't have any physical limitations but mentally it's a fucking joke. it's awful to watch.

and i'm not buying this bullshit that he's spooked from 4 years of butt whipping's. 2006 and 2007 were years where we played pretty well with zero defense. qb's get hit. now starting with preseason 08 he took some shots, but get over it. you're a playoff season past it. you're going to tell me 8 weeks worth of real shoddy line play are going to excuse the rest of your so far disappointing career. step it up god damn it.

NEW, REPETITIVE, AND INGENIOUS PROJECT MAYHEMS need to be created immediately with one and only one purpose/message -

RUN BRAT OUT OF TOWN!

get that cockgobbler gone. not tomorrow. not after breakfast. now.

maybe some billboards with little babydoll outfits and brat's face throwing temper tantrums and being stubborn, saying, I'M GOING TO DO IT MY WAY! and then referencing our typical, classic BRAT. pecker.

Cosby Sweater:

Went to Penn State, actually, so I could give a flying fart who the Sweatervesters kicker was. He's no Robbie Gould - that's a kicker Bill Cowher's Racist Chin could get behind - Gould would fly down the field on kickoffs and hit people harder than anyone on the Buckeyes could.

But yes, you're absolutely right: I SHOULD'VE known who Mike Nugent was, since his NFL career led to him being such a hot free agent pick-up this year. (Did my sarcasm come through there, or do I have to dumb it down for you a bit?)

Oh, and for the record: I'm from an hour northwest of Pittsburgh (closer to Youngstown, Ohio, than Pissburgh). If I was from the rat-infested, disease-ridden, skank-producing, festering cum-dumpster of a city, I'd have offed myself a long time ago. Y'see, where I'm from, Pittsburghers are "Mupheres" or "Yinzers" - we don't talk like morons, and we hate when they "come up here" (say it fast and drop the first syllable, and you get the "muphere" nickname) - and yes, that even includes the Steeler fans I was unfortunate enough to grow up with/around.

Problem - CP past prime/ Brat
Solution - Release Brat - Dish CP to Seattle to re-unite him with USC love... Pick up Kolb next year

We'll get close to Wildcard but will not get it...

This is reality.....

Glad to see everyone is in harmony with all things Bengaldom.... I do miss our pleased nature at having a winning record.

I agree, Carson looks like crap. Like scared runny poop that requires baby wipes more than charmin... (I'm got to see the Ravens game and high-lights from Carolina, but that's it so far... reception is shit along the Pakistani boarder) That being said, I'm not panicking, yet. I think alot of this is the Palmer, TO, Ocho love triangle. I think it will get worked out, BECAUSE Carson is trying to make it work. What are his options, though? Just ignore TO? Something tells me that's a dangerous course of action, not to mention unproductive. What we are seeing are growing pains that should have been dealt with earlier this off season.

We are 2-1 with a win over the Ravens and playing the Browns and Bucs in the future. I not saying its good, I'm just saying chill... give the fuse a minute to light....

Brat Sucks.

As badly as Brat sucks, our next Project Mayhem task needs to be convincing Carson to go see a sports psychiatrist - dude's a HUGE flake, and that's not as easily fixed as his mechanics/footwork.

So are we trying to kill Ced before week 8? 27 carries compared to 5 combined for White Tiger and Scott. What the hell?

Wyatt,
I have been thinking the exact same thing. Palmer's got some anxiety or something, because it looks like physically he should be able to play. Look what happened to Tiger Woods when he fell of the edge. He sucks now too. They need to get him right in the head. My guess, though, is that they've had him seeing someone for awhile. You can't exactly advertise that.

I still think Palmers problem is Brat. Maybe even Palmer isn't confident in the plays Brat is calling? Brat was supposed to "dumb down" the offense... That would make sense if we have a bunch of rookies on the offense side but we don't. We have 2. 2 that are doing pretty damn well. Spread the ball out to everybody and don't force it. I think the reason we aren't doing that is Brat. Palmer has shown, IMO, that he isn't going to spoon feed Chad in the past. I think he'd do the same for TO. It's Brat doing the spoon feeding and it's hurting the team.

When are you guys going to get the next PROJECT MAYHEM going? A FIRE BRAT NOW needs to be done! His play calling has not changed and if his audible plays are supposed to work better than his original play called then i don't know what to tell you. Please get a PROJECT MAYHEM going to get MFB to FIRE BRAT! Thanks!

Clausen's just one of the tools that never had a reason stepping on a pro-football field other than to pick up some wind-blown garbage (Oh I forgot, that is self-descriptive of Clausen).

Look at the game tonight... ...Cutler -- the idiot? Not idiot-savant... ...no, just an idiot. Aaron Rodgers? Who the fuck was he? What about that 'paper jam' out in San Fran (Alex Smith)? Trust me, there are more out there.

What is it, you played major college football and played QB therefore you MUST be drafted and actually play in the league? Come on. Remember that dolt up in Cleveland (I know, I know -- WHICH ONE?) -- that guy out of Kentucky, WTF?

Oh well, rant off.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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