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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 21, 2010

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Amen, Brother Klinglered. I want to see this on-the-field-crying, off-the-field-badmouthing, in-the-bar-ass-beaten turd get curb-stomped by the Bengals' D. Carolina is not going to the playoffs this year, no matter how hard Penis King wishes they would, and if the Bengals are going to build on the momentum from beating the Ravens (and prove that they are capable of beating a team outside their division, something they struggled with last year), they need to put this one away early.

PS - Notre Dame (and Domers) suck.

This is the greatest website ever. I've been lurking here for a couple of years. While I usually agree with everything that is written here, this couldn't reflect my thoughts any more precisely. We have to go into Charlotte and beat the Panthers mercilessly and earn some much needed legitimacy (assuming we are legitimate). Claussen needs to be smacked to the turf and taught by our D that he's not ever going to be more than an NFL practice squad scrub.

his girlfriend or mom or whoever told him to put his hair like that needs to be shot in the face.

no wonder carolina has quarterback troubles if they take chode's like this seriously.

If this turd doesn't get hit at least 10 times and wake up sore Monday, I will be pissed.

Ickey and Stophman, I couldn't agree more.

I want the defense to punish Clausen like Andre Smith punishing the buffet at Golden Corral. I want Zimmer to make him cry like a Jr High girl who just got gounded from watching Jonas. I want Michael Johnson and Geno Atkins to go all Ivan Drago on him... "I must break you."

My fear, however, is that Bratkowski knows that Zimmer is getting ready for this very thing, and so he has chosen to spend extra time this week catching up on that backlog of DeGrassi episodes on his DVR. "I know the pre-snap penalties have been coming at hurricane-force levels, guys, but I have some Degra... some demands too catch up on this week."

The last thing we need is to give the Carolina offense any type of "confidence" in this game.

Do I like Clausen as a player? Yes... simply because I am a Notre Dame fan.

Do I like him as a person? No.

Do I want the Bengals to hold the Carolina offense to -17 yards the whole game? YES!

I strongly believe I will have a heart attack at the ripe age of 27 if the Bengals allow more than 150 yards of total offense by the Panthers. There is no way that should happen. The D is the least of my worries but I will save that for a different post.

On a different note...

Check out Braylon doing "The Dougie". Listen to the commentary. This is hysterical.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXsNq9eo0cM

Pretty unrelated but I heard of this site espn.com/fanschoice where fans can vote for players to make it into the Hall. Not sure if its legit but I've been voting nonstop for Ken Anderson for a while now (he's the only Bengal on there)

It doesn't do or mean anything. The list of nominees for the HOF can potentially include fan submissions, and any fan can mail the committee with anyone they wish to nominate, and the Hall will add it to the initial list. Which of course has zero bearing on the semifinalists or eventually on who gets in at all.

The whole "Fan's Choice" deal has nothing to do with the actual selection process, and votes there bear no influence on the selection committee. The site doesn't even purport to have any link between fan voting and HOF selection. You're voting on people in a glorified internet poll that ultimately makes no difference.

Kinda what I thought. Anderson seems kinda to be a long shot in more and more every year anyway.

Everyone knows that god hates Notre Dame.

I hope this happens.

But......

The Bengals have a history of losing to QBs making their first start (Flacco, Hill, Gradkowski...)

It'd be nice to see that trend reversed.

To further what Sly said:

If God's not a Penn State fan, then why is the sky blue and white?

(Suck on that, Sweatervesters.)

That Dougie video almost made me shit my pants I was laughing so hard. "Illegal use of the Dougie." Holy shit.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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