Breaking Shit - Bengals 2010

My season preview is going to be very one sided because I'm sick of thinking or talking about the Bengals offense. Its coached by an imbecile and most of the time that isn't fun to watch. Unless you're a glutton for punishment, which most of us are. But I digress... 

This season for me is all about Mike Zimmer fucking up opposing offenses with his mind and ridiculously large testicles. The man has mastered football gestalt. In art terms it means something or other about a work of art being bigger than the sum of what's on the canvas. In football terms, its coaching players to function as a well oiled fire breathing death machine. And in 2010, I believe that the Bengals D is going to be like Caesar's Legions advancing to and fro as they please, raping and pillaging and salting the earth as they ride out of town. 

That's why I have the Bengals going 17-2 and winning the chip. 

Or Brat and TO will send everything straight to hell and they'll go 5-11.

I have no idea which.   

Comments

[vince]

if the bengals are running the no huddle like they did i preseason, then brat doesn't get as much say in play calling does he? thats what is giving me hope for this season.

bengals ran the no huddle well a couple years ago and then abandoned it for some asinine reason.

and by some asinine reason, i mean because of professor bratkowski.

[Wyatt]

I hate to admit I read Penis King as much as I do, but he actually picked the Bengals to beat the Pats this week. Isn't that like Catholics picking Mohammed over the Pope? Like an alcoholic choosing water over wine? Like a douchebaggy SI writer picking Cincinnati over dreamy Tom Brady and gritty Wes Welker?

[tide182]

to all of WDR i would recommend you start using and taking a look at the stats over at profootballfocus.com more often. to be perfectly honest i think they are a lot closer to getting a statistical analysis of football right than the FO guys are, although the writers at FO remain vastly superior. they use review of actual gametape for all of their analysis as well, though it's less about results of the plays and more about the individual performances within those plays which, IMO, is more accurate.

anyway, i bring this up here bc they did their own kind of "preview" for the AFC North in a "Four Questions" by division format, and here's their take on the toughest damned division in football:

http://www.profootballfocus.com/blog/2010/09/08/four-analysts-four-questions-afc-north/

i for one have signed up for the yearly stat package, and will try to incorporate their numbers into responses as much as possible as well. ive used them in the past for my gambling habit - if it were legal of course - and in conjunction with FO can serve as quite an informative source. they also do a spectacular job of analyzing individual players.

[tide182]

i have to redact part of my previous post, as i did not intend to be as harsh as i came across against FO. i LOVE FO. i think they are doing amazing things and certainly my intention was not to imply that they are somehow misdirected in their analysis. that said, i like PFF better for individual player assessment, especially across the offensive line and all individual defensive players. FO obviously has some great stuff adding depth and intelligence to overall team offensive and defensive statistics, and as i mentioned, the far superior writing team at this point.

i think i posted that more for myself than anyone else, but i was just not comfortable with the above printed words on FO.

anyway, i also agree w sly, this bengs team could be sick as hell or it could just bomb and go 5-11. its really hard to say. still, im leaning optimistic, and am going for 10-6 again (but this time a better 10-6 against a tougher schedule), another afc north crown won on tiebreaker over baltimore, and, wait for it, A PLAYOFF F'CKING VICTORY

[HappyNat]

Wyatt,

I thought the bengals might have a chance sunday, until you said PK picked them. No I have to go against them as my mantra is predict (aka bet) the opposite of PK and you will prosper.

[Sleeping With Bieniemy]

good call, tide, I used their ratings when trying to evaluate Bengals historical draft picks. anyone who uses individual game film and evaluates each player is probably doing a better job.

i know better than to call you out for lack of stats from now on. i still say TJ was a hero though.

[Mark]

"That's why I have the Bengals going 17-2 and winning the chip.

Or Brat and TO will send everything straight to hell and they'll go 5-11.

I have no idea which."
We are talking about Mike Brown's Bengals and Marvin Lewis's clock management.