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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 09, 2010


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if the bengals are running the no huddle like they did i preseason, then brat doesn't get as much say in play calling does he? thats what is giving me hope for this season.

bengals ran the no huddle well a couple years ago and then abandoned it for some asinine reason.

and by some asinine reason, i mean because of professor bratkowski.

I hate to admit I read Penis King as much as I do, but he actually picked the Bengals to beat the Pats this week. Isn't that like Catholics picking Mohammed over the Pope? Like an alcoholic choosing water over wine? Like a douchebaggy SI writer picking Cincinnati over dreamy Tom Brady and gritty Wes Welker?

to all of WDR i would recommend you start using and taking a look at the stats over at more often. to be perfectly honest i think they are a lot closer to getting a statistical analysis of football right than the FO guys are, although the writers at FO remain vastly superior. they use review of actual gametape for all of their analysis as well, though it's less about results of the plays and more about the individual performances within those plays which, IMO, is more accurate.

anyway, i bring this up here bc they did their own kind of "preview" for the AFC North in a "Four Questions" by division format, and here's their take on the toughest damned division in football:

i for one have signed up for the yearly stat package, and will try to incorporate their numbers into responses as much as possible as well. ive used them in the past for my gambling habit - if it were legal of course - and in conjunction with FO can serve as quite an informative source. they also do a spectacular job of analyzing individual players.

i have to redact part of my previous post, as i did not intend to be as harsh as i came across against FO. i LOVE FO. i think they are doing amazing things and certainly my intention was not to imply that they are somehow misdirected in their analysis. that said, i like PFF better for individual player assessment, especially across the offensive line and all individual defensive players. FO obviously has some great stuff adding depth and intelligence to overall team offensive and defensive statistics, and as i mentioned, the far superior writing team at this point.

i think i posted that more for myself than anyone else, but i was just not comfortable with the above printed words on FO.

anyway, i also agree w sly, this bengs team could be sick as hell or it could just bomb and go 5-11. its really hard to say. still, im leaning optimistic, and am going for 10-6 again (but this time a better 10-6 against a tougher schedule), another afc north crown won on tiebreaker over baltimore, and, wait for it, A PLAYOFF F'CKING VICTORY


I thought the bengals might have a chance sunday, until you said PK picked them. No I have to go against them as my mantra is predict (aka bet) the opposite of PK and you will prosper.

good call, tide, I used their ratings when trying to evaluate Bengals historical draft picks. anyone who uses individual game film and evaluates each player is probably doing a better job.

i know better than to call you out for lack of stats from now on. i still say TJ was a hero though.

"That's why I have the Bengals going 17-2 and winning the chip.

Or Brat and TO will send everything straight to hell and they'll go 5-11.

I have no idea which."
We are talking about Mike Brown's Bengals and Marvin Lewis's clock management.

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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