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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« When the Facts Change I Change My Mind, What Do You Do? | Main | Bengals-Ravens Preview, Part One »

September 15, 2010


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Worst news of day: Bengals trying out WDR Hero Eric "Inverse Pancake Machine" Ghiacuc

A number of the tryouts this week smack of desperation.

I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know that Ghiachic is not the answer. Unless the question is "How can we get Carson killed and collect his insurance money?"

I don't disagree with anything that tide or blesterov said (except that Bush's SECDEF was Rumsfeld - but I digress). I am not capable of that level of analysis anyway.

The question is: Do the Bengals have the wisdom and the stones to change? They always seems both dumb and obstinate in that they don't know what to change or that they don't have the institutional will to do it. When they have a winning season, it seems to be because of a combination of mediocre players playing the freakishly best football of their lives and an easy schedule. They don't have the organization to pull a Pittsburgh and lose the first four games of the season and come back and win the Super Bowl. They rely too much on overpowering bad teams and luck.

My cynicism after watching this team for decades leads me to question their ability to adapt on the fly and make adjustments despite their obvious talent. I hope I am wrong.

Couple comments:

1) the whole team was overpowered the whole game, executed poorly,etc. That sometimes gets obscured when analyzing everything in detail (I'm not complaining). They looked outcoached but they were also outmatched physically.

2) Everything I said above doesn't matter. The white man cometh:

This is my fan response to an email I received based on this:

The fans of the Cincinnati Bengals have established a "Bengals Code of Conduct". We are sick of this shit and we are committed to having a comfortable and enjoyable experience for ourselves, both in the stadium and in the parking lots we around the stadium (Lots A,B,C,D,E,U,1, and Freedom Center). We want all fans attending your games to enjoy the experience. Quite frankly, our enjoyment of the games is way too sporadic to be anything but miserable.

The following behavior is prohibited in the stadium and in the parking lots listed above:
• Lack of progress during the game (including throwing quick out routes on third and long that has no chance of success)
• Fire Bratowski – his predicable play calling constitutes irresponsible behavior
• Any player’s behavior within the community that is unruly, disruptive, or illegal in nature – there has been too much of that shit.
• Fouls and penalties that disrupt big plays or effective drives
• Sitting in a location other than first place in the AFC North
• Sitting or loitering in the basement of the division
• Standing financially on our backs while failing to produce a winning team
• Displays of affection not appropriate by a professional football team – that “Batman and Robin” shit is simultaneously infantile and annoying
• Obscene, indecent or offensive stadium deals
• Any stupid fan code of conduct that prevents us from drinking away the pain of a horrible team
• Failing to comply with expectations from fans that have supported your sorry asses for years

All Season Ticket Holders and Parking Pass Holders are displeased with your conduct as well as the lack of improvement over the years. Violations, witnessed by either the Season Ticket Holder or anyone using their tickets or parking passes, may result fans ejecting themselves from the stadium or parking lot, and forfeiting their future season ticket purchases. According to Doc, in two years the price of 3D televisions will be low enough that we can have the ultimate experience watching you lose from the comfort of our own home for less than the cost of a single season ticket package. And we can watch that crappy Avatar movie in 3D, too.

The fans of the Cincinnati Bengals thank you for adhering to our Bengals Code of Conduct.

Yeah, the whole Ghiachic thing is all well and good (read: *sucky* ),

but on yet another side note, if there is a lockout next year, I will place blame on Mike Brown and his methods of doing business as an NFL owner...

...he is in fact, by his current and long-standing methods, poisoning the NFL league/owner atmosphere...I put forth that the current strife among NFL players and owners is a direct result


This is a good sign that someone learned their lesson, and it gives me hope that we will see our defense back to its normal ball's out self again this Sunday:

“The players are good guys and they do what they’re asked to do,” said Zimmer. “Paralysis by analysis. We had so much time to prepare playing against a good team, we had to take care of this guy, we had to do that, we had to do this, we had to take care and we forgot to play football so it was my fault. I don’t know what we are right now but we’ll find out. We’ll find out where we are. But this one won’t be on me this week. This one will be on the players. If they don’t play well, it’s on them. I took the last one but that’s the last one I’m taking.”

Hofbraunow as much fun as it is to trash MB, i wouldn't hold him responsible for a hold out too quickly. As much crap as we give him MB and Buffalo's owner we the two desenting votes for the last CBA which all the owner later got rid of and lead us into this mess. As stupid as MB is in picking players he was right that the last deal wasn't good. So instead of figuring out a long term deal then the NFL throw shit together and then changed their minds.

so here's peter king's comment for the bengals game this week (he picks the ravens 23-20, fwiw, though that is probably a good thing for us):

Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals
Two of the starters on the Cincinnati offensive line that was semi-shredded by the Patriots the other day were guard Nate Livings and tackle Dennis Roland. They'll start Sunday against the rush-heavy Ravens. Neither was drafted out of college. Meanwhile, the sixth pick in the 2009 draft, tackle Andre Smith, played 10 snaps in New England. What is wrong with this picture?

now, i dont know what's scarier, the fact that he's dead-on accurate or the fact that i am completely in agreement with peter f'cking king

Bengals Fans living in Pittsburgh: where can I watch a Bengals game within the City Limits of Pittsburgh this sunday!??! I would greatly appreciate the feedback.

While there are a number of issues with Righthaven's business model, two in particular are worth mentioning. First, Righthaven's suits appear to ignore substantial fair use defenses (and other defenses) that many of its targets have to the re-posting of news articles. Second, Righthaven's complaints typically include a demand for not only proper copyright remedies (such as damages and injunctive relief), but also a demand that the defendant's Internet domain be seized and given to Righthaven. This claim is not authorized by the Copyright Act and raises serious First Amendment issues. Righthaven's attempt to claim the defendant's Internet domain solely because of an allegedly infringing posting is plainly a terror tactic designed to force a settlement that is unjustified in many cases.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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