Sure, with the release of Antonio Bryant we learned the following:
- the Bengals clearly misdiagnosed the condition of their centerpiece offseason acquisition
- the Bengals didn't really go all out to win for the fans this year and surround Carson Palmer with the weapons he needs by getting TO - they just tried to cover their ass
- the Bengals can still be criminally inept with their decision making, allowing Antonio Bryant to practice the first day of training camp and preventing them from using the PUP exemption for his roster spot
- Bryant's knee is still so bad and the Bengals are so cheap, they won't even hang onto him to see if he can be a long term solution at WR
But nevermind all that, you can read about the whole progression of this epic boondoggle here, instead let's just focus on the upside. Via Joe Reedy we discover:
Antonio Bryant’s signing ended up being one of the most expensive decisions in the team’s 43 seasons of existence. Without playing a down, Bryant made $6.95 million via a $3.6 million roster bonus, $3.1 million roster bonus which was paid on March 21 and $250,000 for taking part in the team’s offseason workout program.
He could be making even more. Bryant’s agent, Lamont Smith, said that the team did not approach him about an injury settlement and that they would file a grievance to get the $1.55 million in base salary he was slated to make.
That. Is. Fucking. Awesome.
Antonio Bryant took Mike Brown's ass to the bank. For that alone, Antonio Bryant earns himself a spot in the pantheon of Great Revolutionaries. For showing up at a one-day workout and fooling the Bengals Bryant cost Mike Brown and his heirs the equivalent of:
- half a year of Club Seat season ticket sales
- about 868,750 beers (assuming $8/beer) concession sales
- about 1,390,000 hot dogs concession sales
- over 4,156 years of Indian Hill Swim club memberships
- and last (but not least) 1,737,500 Denny's Friend Cheese Melt sandwiches (the horror!)
Say what you want about Bryant, but his ability to conceal the extent of his knee injury did more damage to Bengals pocketbook than we could ever dream to do ourselves.
So congrats Antonio, you'll always be a hero to Bengals fans even though you didn't play a down.