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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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August 16, 2010

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The Expendables is definitely winning an Oscar for best original screenplay.

Definitely. With lines like "It's good to hang pirates" it can't miss.

Dolph Lundgren thinks pirates are highly expendable.

Well, Sly, it's official. No one reads us but us anymore.

Sigh. It was a good run.

Guess you guys are expendable then?? Too easy of a bad joke

Preseason scores don't matter?

[CENSORED] you, you [CENSORED] [CENSORED]!

The best score of this entire season was Frostee Rucker's SWEET SWEET TOUCHDOWN from Sweet Little Baby Jesus Tebow's fumble. The fact that Tebow's direct line to God got it miraculously called back matters little - no other Bengals touchdown this year will be half, nay a quarter, as satisfying as that.

Think about it in that context and tell me preseason scores don't matter...


...wait, I just invalidated my own point by calling out a touchdown that wasn't, didn't I?

Oh well - I saw Scott Pilgrim versus the World instead of the Expendables this weekend, and I can't say I'm disappointed. Not because SPVTW was fantastic (although it was), but because I'm going with a bunch of my manly guy friends and watching the Expendables this coming weekend (because of my job, I'm only home every other weekend, hence the delay).


Lol...Spoiler alerts, Tim Tebow, and 'I love Brian Piccolo'...let the comedy, er I mean ah, let the season begin...Damn I wish we played the Broncs this season

C- on the cheerleaders is spot on.

fuck you, eat my overpaid dick.

C- might be generous from the Ben Gals I saw, let's hope they pick up their game for the regular season.

I'm pretty sure Hobspin was the guy that asked for Tebow's autograph, but it was probably just wanted it for a Xmas present to Mikey.

GENO FUCKING ATKINS. Interior D line (as well as the ends I suppose) is stacked ladies and gentlemen. (Do any women read here?) Some are reporting that AB is looking at an injury settlement from the Brownburns.... Tell me, if you've already invested 7 plus mill in a guy, why the hell would you consider cutting the ties at this early point? Guy's signed for four years, if it's that bad, give him this year off, and cut him next year if he still can't go. They're already pot committed to him at this point, don't be stupid Mike...............

Hob is a complete idiot. I actually got into a discussion with him on his blog about the OL's play and how it relates to Palmer's numbers. He fell back on his typical fall back line, "well the 2007 OL allowed the fewest sacks" in an attempt to say the OL from 2006 to 2008 was good. Then they moderated my response. F'n dumbass.

He must not have been watching the same games I did in 2007, b/c I remember Palmer forcing throws to prevent him from getting hit. Seemed like anytime he dropped back in the pocket that year he was picking turf off his helmet (figure of speech- I know it is impossible b/c we have a synthetic field).

Good news is that besides the defense's dumb penalty's, they looked pretty good Sunday night. Zimmer played the vanilla defense again w/ the first team (I think they are looking at personnel schemes). I liked how Palmer spread the ball around, and they were able to move the chains pretty well. Brat's play calling still is terrible, and he is our primary weakness on offense. If only that guy could shoot himself in the leg in a nightclub...

Friday should be a big test against Philly. You know that they are going to bring everything. So it will either be an abortion on our part or we should see some fight in them, depending on how they prepare for the game.

Who is this Antonio Bryant guy you keep talking about?

I thought Jordan Plamer looked 100 times better than O'Sullivan in this game. Anybody think its time to ship O'Sullivan off pasture?

err, I mean "Palmer"...

No one reads this site anymore because there is high hopes right now...The Ocho's are taking us to the promise land of milk and honey....

I don't believe the hype so I will continue to support the revolution until there is real change.

I predict this...OL will not last all season. Palmer is not going to have time in the pocket. pentalties will still kick our ass.

With the schedule we have...9-7 record.

If the Bengals win the Super Bowl I will be happy but right a public appology to MikE Brown for doubting him.

Who-dey

Actually, I HAVE NOT seen the game -- it was blacked out remember? BTW, it begs to wonder -- why in the FUCK are you watching the game to begin with. You protest about Mikey Boy Brown yet he's not getting rid of the team anytime soon, so you 'de facto' give him creedence by watching his product! Kind of odd if you ask me!

Joe,

I think Antonio Bryant is Andre Smith's personal trainer. The are working in secret and are preparing to absolutely destroy the NFL in week 1. Because why else would we be paying these gimps a combined 10 mil a year?

I am still here reading just don't comment as much because we are all starting to hope more.

Mike,

I hope you are incorrect about the OL. I agree though it is our achilles heal, second to Bratkowski.

The way I see it, if the Bengals end up making it to the SB- I hope they do b/c I make approximately $750 just to have them show up for the game- that is not a testament to the genius of Mike Brown, but rather the fact that he has taken more of a hand's off approach and let Marvin do it his way. Correct me if I am wrong, but this is one of the major items this site has been for since its inception: getting Mike Brown out of personnel decisions.

I think Marvin has fought hard and if we get to taste success this year, I hope he gets a new contract and we see Mike hand over more power to him. This website should advocate for it as well. The best teams are built in the draft with the players selected by people who decide how to spend the owners money. When the owner is involved in the decision making it always fails: CLE, DAL, NE (before Bill), CIN, NO, etc. Someone needs to write a MBA thesis on this.

Glad to know you guys are still out there reading.

Blacked out game was re-aired at 1130. Preseason is actually good for recording, you can watch the first team and really break down every play without wasting too much time out of your day.

Blesterov, if Marvin resigns, likely it means a lot of La Revolucion's goals will be realized. Marvin may not know how to use timeouts or challenges very well, but he is a fucking HERO regardless.

If you guys ever get blacked out this season, go to: http://www.channelsurfing.net/

I watch all of the NFL games from that site if it is not on the local channels here in DC. The quality is not always great, but it is free and it avoids the blackout.


I am like the one brother in the Corsican Brothers (the Tommy Chong one)...no matter what my brother (played by Cheech Marin) says,
I will always support The Revolution...my brother

@Nick

Uh, no, actually I think "Plamer" will work...

I'm sure no one in the ranks of the WDR would look down on anyone for buying/wearing a Bengals jersey with "Plamer" sewn on the back of it...Matter of fact, I'm gonna run to Koch's and get one right now...
if they don't have them there, I'm sure Deveroes will make me one, starting with a blank jersey from value city, and some crayons...and I will then fork over some serious "bling" for it
(that's street slang for "bling"...I'm starting to pick up on that)

posted by SWB:

" Definitely. With lines like "It's good to hang pirates" it can't miss "


Actually Buff Lundgren screwed up his lines there...what he meant to say was, "It's good to be hanging out of butt pirates"...

...or, at least that's what they said
on Entertainment Tonight


@ Michael

I read this site because there are
LEGION OF DOPES right now...and I aim to still be
(un)sane at the end of the 2010 season, regardless of what happens

@Hof

Just have to go with the punches. This year should be interesting.

The blow that came could have hit in the eye and could have caused serious injury.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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