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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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August 18, 2010


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SWB: I totally agree. This appears to be an epic fail on so many levels: 1) the bengals' doctor who provided the physical should be fired, unless he provided the decision-makers with significant warnings and they chose to neglect those warnings (sadly, not implausible, and considering that the Bengals worked him out on the field and didn't notice anything, perhaps likely); 2) after finding out the extent of his injuries (which made the signing of TO more pressing), they practiced him so that he couldn't be placed on the PUP list; and 3) fuck, fuck, fuck. I think our journey-man laden offensive line will be our downfall this year, but Bryant was supposed to be the shot in the knee that we needed to at least have a chance to open up our offense. I get enraged every time I think of this debacle, and I think Bengals fans just try to repress it because the truth is too hard to bear: much of the success we've had has come through luck and a competent Defensive Coordinator, but that sucess is unlikely to continue given that our division contains two of the most well-run organizations in the league and we're, well, a bunch of clueless bastards. I mean, have you ever seen the vacant look on Marvin Lewis' face during a game:"um, well, let's go guys, and come on, and let's put some points up on the board, and, um, how should we use our time outs again?" Ok, now I've dragged ML into this, and that might have been uncalled for--I just want to go out and skull fuck a squirrel. Sorry for the rant, and sorry for those that love squirrels.

@colin - beastiality solves nothing. But yes, the whole Bryant thing looks like a slowly developing trainwreck.

Marvin, however, has nothing to do with this. Not being able to properly manage the clock, use timeouts or challenge a play, while frustrating, does not offset the fact that he tries to run the team the way a modern NFL team is run better than anyone ever has. He is the first, and best, line of defense against Mike Brown.

SWB: point taken. I've always thought ML is a pretty bad game coach, but he's a good team manager and seems decent with schematics. My rage was misplaced. Now, bestiality, on the other hand, we'll agree to disagree.

On another note, it would be great if you or another writer/commenter could dissect what the pros and cons of an injury settlement would be--something about base salary vs. guaranteed $, etc. I know this might be premature, but I'd like to know what we would stand to gain by cutting him (leaving, as he will, with $7 million guaranteed) versus keeping him to see if he pans out, and then cutting him if his injury persists.

Fuck cost effectiveness. I want Mike Brown to lose money every moment of every day. Remember, the Bengals are about a billion dollars under the cap right now. He can afford to pay Bryant while he sits out a year recovering.

SWB i think you are believing to many rumors, nothing concrete has been established about they bengals and what they will do about Bryant or the real health of his knee. For all we really know he may still be the starting #2-3 on opening day. Also as much as you want to bash the bengals for this do you really think cheapskate brown would give someone 8 mill if they didn't thinknthe knees was healed??? He would have given TO 4 and called it a day.

I'm frustrated by this but I dougtbthe bengals were as inept as you think in this

Colin my understanding is this: if the bengals cut Bryant they can not recoup any of his guaranteed money but don't have to pay any more of his base salary and he is free to sign elsewhere and they bengals have one less counting on the 53 man roster. If the put him on the IR they pay him this seasons salary and obviously can cut or keep him next year and he can't play at all for anyone this year or be cut before next offseason.

There are two reasons

I know I am going to get a lot of shit for this one, but everything that has been written about this is pure speculation at this point.

You can guarantee that almost any story that starts on PFT is full of shit. I have not seen them right on one story where they made a mountain out of mole hill. For instance their latest attempt to screw with Bengals's fans minds was that they claimed having TO on the team was already causing controversy in the locker room b/c the Ocho's were complaining about how many balls they were getting. This was before the first preseason game even kicked off.

If Bryant gets a settlement, I will be pissed. If you remember in the offseason, I thought he was one of their best options to pick up (everyone else available was a problem child- worse than Chris Henry, and TO's asking price was too unrealistic- 5 mil at that point). If the doctor screwed up, he needs to be cut. If Bryant knew he was damaged goods and it turns out that way then I hope he rots in hell since that money could have gone to better uses.

Hopefully the over-hyping media is wrong like they usually are and that it turns out for the best. Until it all plays out, I am going to sit back and wait and see and enjoy watching the good team we have for once- appreciate while we have it b/c it won't last long.

There ate two reasons for settlement. 1 the team has grounds to recoup part if a signing bonus ( ie a player hid an injury) but more often it is for #2: they the player more than likely will be able to play around midseason or later and would like the opportunity to sign somewhere else. The team negotiates a settlement where the player pays back part of the bonus on return for the option to be able to sign with another team, thus giving the bengaks another roster spot and money in the pocket. Hope that helps.

the truth has given the best explanation of this deal I could find anywhere on the web - thank you. However, I still cannot understand how this would work out for us dollar wise with all the guaranteed $ due to Bryant. Even if he couldn't play this year, why would we even consider cutting him - a large portion of that $28M is still due to him, cut or not, correct? I guess you're saying that he concede enough future money to entice us to release him instead of putting him on IR?

The team is being mum about this now, it is clear they are not happy. I think this is a classic case of a guy having more setbacks than expected when trying to come back from an injury. It sucks, but at least we have other plans. I hope we can keep him on ice for a bit and still work him in this year.

I definately agree with Blesterov on this one, I look at it the same way. PFT is full of it - no one knows what is going to happen right now. I would think AB would have to concede a large amount of current and future guaranteed money for the Bengals to cut him, given that we owe him future dollars no matter what. If someone who knows these contracts can explain in round numbers how such a deal could possibly work, maybe then I would believe it. I understand it doesn't matter for the cap this year, but the future guaranteed $ is real $.

Marshall was the best way to go from the beginning. He of all the options was the legit beast that would genuinely create mismatches for all teams. And TO would have just added to the opponents' problems. And what was the price for Marshall? A 2nd rounder? What a joke? Should've even ante'd up on the offer to guarantee he came here. Throw in an extra 4 or 5th to sweeten the deal and CP9 has the true #1 WR till the end.

Hold your horses. The guy is taking extra precautions to make sure he is 100%. Nobody on the Bengals have said a word. So now everybody knows the options the Bengals have but nothing is going to happen until he shows he can play or cannot. If not it won't change anything and they still have Chad, To, Gresham in the middle and a real slot in Shipley. If bryant is doing the right thing and being extra careful to fully heal and can play that is huge to have a giant target that can go deep. It is a win win. We got so many steals this year that it all washes out if he has to be dropped.

Colin wrote:

"I think our journeyman-laden offensive line will be our downfall this year, but Bryant was supposed to be the shot in the knee that we needed to at least have a chance to open up our offense"

I am much happier with that bit of high comedy,
than I would be with two good AB knees (i.e. Abner B. Doubledays, that is)...

btw, don't you mean, 'Sorry for those that love to skull-fuck squirrels' ?

Gents - I hear you on the speculation but the two links I referenced discussing this above are:

1. Joe Reedy

That is not the NFL's number 1 site for rumor mongering and baseless speculation (Pro Football Talk) or some fucktarded Steelers blog. That's our freaking beat reporter with more access than anyone else on the planet not in the Bengals organization. The NFL is a super tightwad organization, I don't think they would like it if their writers were all writing crazy speculation to rile up fans and cast their owners in poor light.

I wouldn't even address this if they are rumors. Bless Joe Reedy, but if he's just talking out his ass about this I will be pissed.

My hope is that Bryant just needs extra time to heal. I say that at the end. But if we end up cutting this guy, holy fuck, what a shit show.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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