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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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July 12, 2010

Well Done

From Chad's dating show last night...

“Man, I haven’t seen this many girls on a football field since the last time we played the Steelers.”

Posted by on July 12, 2010 at 02:48 PM in Pittsburgh: Where Bad People Deserve Their Shitty Lives |

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That quote was outstanding....Wonder how many Steelers are going to cry about it.

Posted by: Michael | July 12, 2010 at 02:55 PM

Quote of the season right there. Marvin needs to put that on this year's training camp T-shirts.

Michael, you can bet you'll hear plenty of crying. It's what girls do.

Posted by: Major Payne | July 12, 2010 at 03:52 PM

Glad to see he is back to old self. I hated those dark years where he like a 3 year old having a horrible tantrum. I understood and empathized his position, but I am glad he is over it and is having fun again.

Posted by: blesterov | July 12, 2010 at 05:53 PM

Is it true that you are giving up on your website? Two articles so far in July and less than a month from our first game. This summer heat can make one lazy I hear.

Posted by: M. Brown | July 13, 2010 at 01:10 AM

If your writers have a dearth of ideas, I have a fellow named Hobson working for me that I can loan to you until training camp starts.

Posted by: M. Brown | July 13, 2010 at 01:21 AM

Does he say that about the Steelers because they are all wearing rings? Maybe you should win a playoff game before you starting talking smack.

Posted by: B_town | July 13, 2010 at 02:23 PM

SI.com's got a video up on their main page right now with Chaddy where he says the Ravens and Steelers suck. It's entertaining, to say the least.

Posted by: Wyatt | July 16, 2010 at 10:30 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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