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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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July 21, 2010

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I never knew this rule...learn something every day.

If Reed begins the season on the PUP list, by NFL rules he would miss the Ravens' first six games. In that scenario, his first game would be against the Buffalo Bills on Oct. 24.

Wow.

@Michael,

Kinda surprising you didn't know this rule as Tab Perry/Chris Perry both were frequenters of the PUP list and couldn't play until the Bengals 7th game each season. Not trying to be condescending, just found it a bit odd.

In unrelated news, did everyone see that the Steelers have drafted another high character player in Maurkice "I accepted $100000 from an agent between the SEC Championship and the Sugar Bowl" Pouncey? This made him ineligible for the Sugar Bowl and will most likely give the Bearcats the retroactive win. Win-win for the city of Cincinnati, as this likely takes some of the media attention away from Cedric Benson and also gives the Bearcats a nice shiny trophy and some additional cash. It doesn't bring back Brian "Sellout" Kelly, but hey, at least it's not Captain Sweatervest, right?

W-
i love that Pouncey said he didn't take money, but on draft night he was wearing a medaillion bigger than some rims! and i never underestimate the man with the homeless guy beard's healing power. he's the new mcnair.

It's my opinion that the Ravens' defense will slip a little bit this year anyway, and losing Reed for a chunk of the year will only further that. I'm not saying that they are going to be a bottom 10 defense, just that they won't be the typical top 5 defense that we usually expect. Around #10 or so, good but not great. The front will still be strong, but the Bengals have usually done well enough there. The Ravens' secondary is a total mess -- especially without Reed -- and time is not on Ray Lewis's side at this point.

Week 2 prediction: Despite 40 yards in false start penalties on Whitworth, Carson carves up their sans-Reed secondary, and Zimmer's returning #4 defense limits Flacco to under 200 yards passing and keeps Ray Rice in check. Bengals win, 27-13.

re Pouncey, it's good to see that there is another pillar of virtue employed in Pittsburgh to maintain that high moral standard for the rest of the NFL.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/1007/nfl.1985.season.rare.photos/content.29.html

Totally unrelated question: look at Jim McMahon in the picture I linked to - what are the chances he's Phil "King Laserface" Rivers' illegitimate father?

UC would not "retroactively win" as you put it. The win would just be stripped from FL. I think that's asinine, but that's what I understand. And yes, that classy organization in the classiest of cities has continued their legacy of being classy by signing a guy that accepted money before graduating (allegedly, folks in pissburg get upset when you don't include that qualifier). But they'll continue to be given verbal blow jobs by the media until week 8 when they're 2-5. Regardless, I can't wait to witness the DEMOLISHING of Leftwich or Dixon or Roethlisberger when the time comes, that O line is going to be about as effective in pass blocikng as chicken wire is at keeping bugs out.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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