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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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According to my exploration, billions of persons all over the world receive the business loans from well known banks. Hence, there is good possibilities to receive a credit loan in all countries.

I'm starting to turn over to the camp that Ced is not going to get suspended, but then again, I could be wrong. The Commish seems to have other issues on his plate, and his MO is to make a media event out of punishments. Short of, if I can't send a hard message, then there is no reason to be punitive. At least, that's what I'm hoping...

In other news, Afghanistan is very hot, and it is staring to look like I might be able to catch some of the games this season. Thanks goodness for AFN Sports (Armed Forces Network).

Godspeed, guttersnake. We appreciate all of you guys over there.

Oh, Cleveland! What a mess! Is it any wonder that the talent wants to get away from that team? I tried to warn their fans after the 2007 season that this was coming. More than one spit on their screen in a Mistake-On-The-Lake rendition of The Chin in their fuming and swearing back at me. But look who's laughing now!

I think guys like Harrison are a good argument for the NFL to establish a developmental league. Or Kyle Cook, who went undrafted but runs circles around Eric Girlcheck. For every first round bust, maybe there's a guy who could have been a solid player but never got the shot at it. With the current success of minor league baseball and the American appetite for football, it could work. And it could very well further improve the NFL product.

MP I was just saying that on another board but please let everyone know arena football does not count as a sup. leauge.

I believe I have the answer. Paul Brown, with all his football IQ and wisdom, became such a force in the professional football scene because he made a deal with the devil. "Make me a football genius and a legend," Paul requested. Satan in return cursed Brown by saying "Your wish is granted, but as payment your first son will be incompetent beyond comprehension." Paul agreed.

Flash forward to the present day and we see the devil's plan. Paul's first football child, his namesake, are terrible without signs of life. Paul's actual male progeny wants to convert defensive linemen to tight ends.

Moral of the story: don't make deals with the devil. He'll always get you somehow.

Girlcheck! How could I have overlooked that nickname for two years! Kudos. Yes, the Browns (team and family) are stupid beyond comprehension. I would have drafted Harrison in my fantasy league last year (I tried him on waivers a few times too, but mistimed both attempts) but I suspected they would waste him. Vangini will waste him again this year to "send a message" about his power to the team, and they will reap the consequences, hardesty is hardly a lock to be even close to performing at Harrison's level this year. Would love to have Harrison and/or Cribbs, I couldn't believe Cribbs wanted an extension with that team after his neck got broken because Vaginia wanted to "play the game out." Guy's a grade A pompous moron ass. Selfishly glad for the reasons Bienemy pointed out though, so thanks Vagini!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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