In case anyone went to the site yesterday and encountered a quarter of a Hob article up, sorry about that. I got distracted and pressed publish instead of delete.
Anyway, in this 3/16 Hob's Choice we get to see Hob spin Mike Brown's shit into a shiny rainbow of "market realities and rational thinking."
Q: With this being an uncapped year I was hoping you could clear up some confusion I and probably other readers are having. What's with all the talk that we may not be able to re-sign some of our own to long-term contracts? There is no cap this year. So it's confusing. What is the factor limiting spending? Also on this note why is T.O. not still an option? There is a good chance in the next few weeks the price will come down. He would be a great addition and provide stability for a year while we rebuild the pass game and personnel. --Matt W., South, Vienna, OH’
First of all Matt from Vienna. Everything you asked was a joke right? "What is the factor limiting spending?" "TO would provide stability for a year." Those are really good deadpan jokes, right?
MATT: After spending about $22 million in tenders and bonuses forAntonio Bryant and Tank Johnson, the Bengals are slowing down on spending even though there is no salary cap, although they are still trying to grind something out with right guard Bobbie Williams.
Here are probably some of the factors why they are hesitating on some of their guys that are up and other free agents even though it is an uncapped year:
If Hobson were to ever lose his trademark calm when writing such madcap twists on reality, his answer to this would be, MIKE FUCKING BROWN.
First, there is a good chance this is going to be the only year there won’t be a cap so they may not want to get out of whack for a potential cap in ’11 or whenever one comes back.
At the very least, teams that go over what would have been the cap are probably going to be in line for some kind an adjustment when there is a cap. So you’re going to have to pay up sooner or later.
Come on Hob, you know the Bengals aren't anywhere near going over the the projected '11 cap. Unless you're talking about the Brown Family Cap, which runs about $10 Million below and parallel to the NFL Cap every year. I guess you're, "being straightforwardish" if you're using that cap.
Which gets to the next factors.
The economy and the labor crisis. The Bengals have always been cautious in their small market and even more so now after a year they swept the division and still needed extensions to sell out many of their home game. And there is probably no business in the country that would spend more than usual not knowing if they will be open or closed by a lockout the next year.
That paragraph is straight up bullshit. First off, small market? This isn't baseball. It's called revenue sharing. Mike Brown beats off to it every night.
Second, don't blame the fans for not spending enough, when it's the lack of spending that make us fans so angry in the first place. I'm sorry Bengals that more people were not on board for last year when in '08 they started the year 0-9 or whatever the fuck it was.
It didn’t count against the cap, but making Mike Zimmer the first seven-figure coordinator in club history back in January was a bit uncharacteristic for the franchise given the economic conditions, And that may be another factor in pulling up right now, and Marvin Lewis has told us they already have approached him twice on an extension and that’s some big dollars there, too.
I hate Mike Brown. That is all I have to say about the previous paragraph.
Believe me, I’m one of these guys that says to heck with it. No cap, so let’s go for broke and get Carson to the Bowl before the window closes with T.O. and sign up Bobbie and Shayne Graham.
Shayne Graham? Please don't tell me the only reason Graham hasn't been locked up again is because he's too expensive. What the FUCK. He sucks. He can't kick a touchback, let alone even get a kickoff into the endzone. He has an innate sense to fuck up field goals at the worst possible moments. And yet Hob just tosses his name out there as if he's hot shit. Or maybe, Hob, being the wily bastard he is, wanted people to read that little morsel about graham getting another contract and lose their minds so that the rest of this crazy parade of an answer gets forgotten in the aftermath.