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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Classless Steelers Organization At It Again | Main | I am no draftnik, but I'll have some Maurkice Pouncey please... »

April 19, 2010

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Comrades,

With all this talk about the draft coming up this week, is there anything in the works for a Project Mayhem task, similar to last year? I, along with a few others of the NYC contingent, plan on attending the draft this Thursday night. With good moves this organization has seemingly been making over the past several months perhaps it might be best to lay in the tall grass and wait? Now, I still plan on getting drunk and yelling at the Brown/Blackburn family down in the drafting table... but was wondering if somethign else was in the works. Gracias.

No plans...I foolishly forgot to sign up in time to get press credentials which would have been fun...maybe interview some folks or talk with other media guys about the cause.

But back to the draft, Showtime, Dez would not be my number 1 even though by all accounts he is a stud prospect. I'd still prefer to bolster pass protection or pass rush. Iupati or Pouncey if they are there as both seem like as close . But with Chad aging, even I, hater of haters on first round WR picks, would probably feel that Dez is decent risk/reward.

I meant to say both Iupati and Pouncey sounds like as close as it gets to guaranteed bad ass.

You may be right about Mayes. But I think with Zimmer on his constant shit, he could develop into a solid player. That is why they paid him good money to stay- look what he can do with mostly above average talent. I can't wait to see what he can do with talent.

A couple of thoughts:

I'd be happy with Thomas, Gresham, Iupati or Pouncey. The more I hear about Gresham, the more I warm up to drafting him. As a Bengal's fan, I laugh at our TE situation, and at #21, if you get the best player at his position (like Gresham is), it seems like a great value given the dramatic need for him. It was my understanding that he's a piss-poor blocker, but the more I read, the more that people call him the best all-around TE in the draft with "adequate" blocking skills. I'd take him.
I change my opinion on Taylor Mays daily. I think he's literally so athletic, that he could LEARN and ADAPT to be a very good safety when coached up (Hello, Zim!). But other times I look at him and I see a younger, faster, stronger Roy Williams. I've read that some teams think he has Ronnie Lott potential and others would shy away from him completely. I will say this: If he's available early in round two, I'd LOVE it if the Bengals traded up to get him.
I DO NOT want Dez Bryant. Tight End is a more pressing need and this team doesn't need any more mental midgets. This is a draft that you can get a talented WR all the way in rounds two and three. Guys like Damian Williams, Gilyard, Tate, Benn, and maybe even DeMaryius Thomas will be available in rounds 2 or 3.
So, I'd like the draft to look something like this:
First: Gresham
Second: Mays (trade one of the third round picks to move up)
Third: Damian Williams
Fourth: Best Guard
Fourth: Best DL
Fifth: FB
Fifth: CB
Sixth: Kicker

Something like that, if Mays and Williams fall--after all, this is an article about "dream draft", right?

You guys were just pimping Pouncey why did you delete it?

Anyways these are guys I want by round
1st:Earl Thomas,Taylor Mays,Dez Byrant,Sergio Kindle & Gresham
2nd:Rob Gronkowski or Antony Mccoy
Gimme gilly in 3rd & Blount with 2nd comp pick and I'd be a happy camper...with a kicker in the 6th :o

You guys have gotta be kidding me with this Gresham stuff. There's a reason there's so few tight ends taken in the first round - they're not worth it! You get a first round TE, you end up with Brandon Pettigrew, Greg Olsen, or Dustin Keller. It's just not a high-impact position.

Gresham is an injury waiting to happen. If they pick him I will be very pissed. They are so on the cusp and this draft has to push them over. They need to nail almost every pick, and going after guys like Gresham or Bryant are only going to set them back.

Mike --

Wasn't Keller the player who tore the Bengals a new asshole in last year's playoff game? I thought so. Gresham is a better offensive threat than Pettigrew. For every Winslow, Olsen, etc., there's a Tony Gonzalez, Dallas Clark, Alge Crumpler. This team has not made TE or Safety a priority since the 80s and 90s, and that's why opposing TEs always kill them (see Aaron Shea, Cleveland Browns, Dustin Keller, NYJ) and that's why they never have a threat. If you are leary of Gresham because of his knee, that's understandable, but don't freaking come back and tell me you want Gronkowski and his bad back.

Mike H are you special? First of all Keller is a superb Tight End and Pettigrew was solid besides his injury...

If you look at last years playoff teams 10 had a play making tight end the other 2 were Cardinals & us...I really don't want a 1st round Tight End but I wouldn't bitch if we did take gresham because the guy scores touchdowns like a mofo.

1st Round: ANYTHING BUT A TIGHT END. I'm actually hopeful that if they're in love with CJ Spiller and he's not available, they'll take Toby Gerhardt - I think he fits the Bengals power rushing game to a tee, and imagine the backfield of Gerhardt and Leonard - LEGENDARY. That's if Iupati isn't available - he's my first choice.

2nd Round: Dorin Dickerson, TE, Pitt - after reading about him in Stewart Mandel's column on SI today, I'm sold. He's coming out of a pro style offense (ie - not going to sit on the bench for his entire rookie season), he's had highlight blocks, and he was second on the team in receiving...sign me up.

Wyatt--

You would be a worst front office man than MB, himself. Completely illogical that they should go after Gerhart in the 1st!

Pickens,

You would be a worst grammarian than Baghdad Hob, himself. Completely incorrect usage of "worst" in comparing only two things (in this case, myself and Mike Brown).

By including the bit about Leonard, I was hoping regulars would be able to detect my humor, since about 90% of the humor on this site during this past season revolved around Brian Leonard. Check out the "Enough of this..." post for my real thoughts on first round picks. I was serious about the second rounder though, especially if it means not taking one of the injury-prone "marquee" TEs in the draft.

Jesus, Wyatt. I'm on my iPhone, thus making it tough to type. If grammar-bashing is your only leg to stand on, that's pathetic. I'm sure that you're quite the online comedian, but me not knowing you personally, coupled with the fact that I don't really pay close attention to what you say here, makes it difficult to discern whether or not you're being facetious. As for you wanting the TE from Pitt, I'd much rather get the Miami TE Jimmy Graham in the third than to take a hybrid guy in the second.

On another note, look for rumors of the Bengals looking to trade for Martellus Bennett again to surface. Jerry Jones of the Cowboys said that teams have approached him on a trade for some veterans and it's thought that Bennett is one of those guys. Would make sense since the Bengals made an offer for him last year.

Green looks like a great pick for the Bengals. Is Dalton future replacement for Palmer?

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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