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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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March 09, 2010

If There Is One Person That Is Going To Hell Quicker Than MikeyBoy, It's Drew Rosenhaus.

The Bengals have Antonio Bryant and TO visiting today. And as much as I hate Mike Brown for all his penny pinching and stubborn refusal to adjust to the modern era of pro football, I kind of like what he's doing with these two players for the sheer twisted head to head mentality it might bring out. I'm not saying that Mike's going to toss a sharpened stick down between them or anything, but maybe he'll be able to drive both their prices down with them knowing the Bengals have other options (Many options, considering Mike Brown always reserves the right to flip the negotiating table over and tell everyone to go fuck themselves.) Of course, now that I've given MikeyBoy a little props he'll probably turn around and offer David Boston a giant 1 year deal out of nowhere. 

Posted by on March 09, 2010 at 10:06 AM in Free Agency |

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I agree - at first I thought it was strange to have both of them in on the same day, but in reality it is actually a pretty smart business move. F Rosenhaus - the only leg he has to stand on is that "Chad likes T.O" - sorry buddy, that does not outweigh the fact that T.O is coming off a sub par season in Buffalo and pushing 37years old. . . with that being said, for some reason I still lean toward signing T.O for a cheap, 1 Year deal over Bryant who will likely want a multi-year contract and turn out to be only a half step above L.Coles (btw, I don't blame Coles or Bryant but rather Mike "He has the biggest hands in the Draft" Shepherd and the coaching staff for this sad reality)

Posted by: Ryandg5 | March 09, 2010 at 10:47 AM

Do you guys remember that cover to Sport Illustrated a few years ago when the Celtics got Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce? It was an NBA preview issue that came out right before the Celtics exploded back into the NBA elite.... could you just imagine a similiar NFL preview issue with Chad Ochocino, Antonio Bryant, and Terrell Owens on the cover?

...sigh... perchance to dream...

Posted by: guttersnake | March 09, 2010 at 10:50 AM

but maybe he'll be able to drive both their prices down with them knowing the Bengals have other options (Many options, considering Mike Brown always reserves the right to flip the negotiating table over and tell everyone to go fuck themselves.)

Lol...Just picturing Mikey flipping a table in that video (Duran Duran's "Hungry Like The Wolf", or was it Peter Gabriel's "Shock The Monkey" ?)

Posted by: Hofbraunow | March 10, 2010 at 08:30 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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