Don't Fight It MikeyBoy, You Know You're Gonna Draft Jake Ballard In The First Round.

Who wants to cannonball into the twisted logic of the Bengals drafting a TE really early in this year's draft? I do! And so does Hobsy. As always, the Hobspin is in bold.

INDIANAPOLIS - While everyone here at the NFL scouting combine is bemoaning the NFL fate of such creatures of the spread offense like Florida quarterback Tim Tebow, the pro tight end as we once knew it has become a vanishing species.

What is this vanishing species bullshit? Good TE's pop up all over the place. In my opinion, the reason why JP Foschi ends up looking capable for the Bengals is because the scouting department is smaller than the Memphis Grizzlies'.*

And who's bemoaning the fate of Tim Tebow? As far as I can tell the guy is going to get drafted way too early, get PAID, and then find himself out of the league once his rookie contract is up. Eat and drink and find pleasure for free pretty much everywhere in Florida for the rest of his life. Then when he dies a long time later he'll go to heaven. Not a bad gig. So let's tone down the sob song for Tebow.

Where have you gone Rodney Holman? Bengaldom turns its lonely eyes to you.

What's that you say Rodney Holman? Paul Brown has left and gone away. Hey hey hey. Hey hey hey.

The age of the dual tight end that can run and catch as well as line up and block next to the tackle and can help you right away as a rookie has been stolen by the spread.

The spread is wanted in Missouri for armed robbery and sodomizing Chase Daniels career.

This depressing state of young tight ends, along with the thin crop of wide receivers, makes you think the Bengals might be better off taking that defensive end at No. 21 and going for the tight end and wide receiver in the second and third rounds.

I agree, unless their is some otherworldly receiver still sitting there at 21, the Bengals should continue to strengthen the D Line with their first pick. How about we call it a day now that we have that settled?

Personnel men like the Steelers’ Kevin Colbert are saying it’s the deepest field of defensive linemen in his 26 years in the NFL.

As much as I hate any Hobson proclaimed "Steelers Man", I have to agree. This is as good a draft as any to get a fucking badass for the D Line. 

When Bratkowski watches the tight ends work out here, he’s looking for “certain quickness and speed variables are what you’re looking for and the ability to catch the ball. Those are what you’re looking for. It’s hard to teach speed, it’s hard to teach quickness.  If they have those already and can catch it, that’s fine. You can teach a guy to block, but if he hasn’t had a lot of background in him, it doesn’t happen overnight. You can’t teach a guy to block being a great in-line blocker in one year.”

I put this paragraph in there not because it holds any special value but because I don't like Bratkowski and I'm going to show my displeasure by picking apart his half wit quote.

"It's hard to teach speed, it's hard to teach quickness." Most coaches would admit that it is impossible to teach speed and quickness. But, ladies and gentleman, we're talking about the man who defied all the odds and put 11 O-Lineman on the field at once last year. The play resulted in a fumble and a loss of 6 yards but dagumnit, he established something that play. So when this man says it might be hard, but he's not ruling out the possibility of teaching speed and quickness, how do you completely doubt him? You don't folks. You don't.

"You can't teach a guy to block being a great in-line blocker in one year." This might be Hob completely fucking up on his transcription, but I'm not ruling out that Bratkowski actually said this nonsense either. He defies odds on a daily basis. DO NOT BET AGAINST HIM.

“Some teams have been saying I did a good job blocking and others say I need work blocking,” Gronkowski said. “With coaching and technique, I intend to get better.” In this day and age, that seems like the best teams can hope for when it comes to this new endangered species.

So what you really wanted to say this whole time is that whoever we draft at TE is going to suck? And that we will probably be reading an article from you in week 6 of next year about how the Bengals had to locate and resign Foschi while he was in the Swiss Alps taking a clock fixing class? Well at least we can look forward to that.

*Not true, the Grizzlies don't have a scouting department. But don't repeat that because we don't need MikeyBoy hearing about it and then trying to one up their owner.

Comments

[blester01]

Thanks for the morning chuckle from the rip on Bratkowski... god damn that is funny.

[Wyatt Beougher]

If they don't trade up and get Eric Berry (which we all know they won't), and Taylor Mays is available at 21 (which most mocks have predicted he will be), I think that's who the Bengals end up with. While I've advocated picking a safety to further complement Hall and Joseph, and you'd have some continuity by taking USC defenders in each of the last three years, I'm opposed to the selection of Mays if there's a better player available for somewhere along the defensive line. However, I'd imagine they draft Jemaine Gresham, especially if there are still doubts about his overall health and injury future, simply because they should be able to lock him down well before training camp at a discounted rate.

[TheCarlPickensClause]

I punched 3 babies after reading this article.

[SM]

If they select O-line or D-line at #21, you really can't fault them. You simply can't have enough great lineman, and #21 is a great spot to get one. I would even be OK with OG Mike Iupati from Idaho (mostly because he's Samoan, and I want our team to be entirely Samoan).

I will say that #21 seems a bit high for safety unless we're talking about an Ed Reed or Troy Polamalu type, and considering the TE pool is loaded this year, I wouldn't go TE there, either. I really don't think Gresham is the answer for our offense. I'd be OK with WR, but I'd rather have them go after Brandon Marshall or Anquan Boldin.

Actually, ESPN reported that Arizona is asking for a 2nd Round draft pick for Boldin. Am I missing something? Isn't Boldin one of the top WRs in the game? I know he's had injury problems, but that dude is like a faster TJ Housh. He would be a beast opposite Chad. I would give up a 2nd rounder for him any day. Maybe even a finger or two.

[Neutered Bengal]

Here's a good move:

Stop watching and going to the games....that's the only fucking way you get your point across....Even if we have the best draft ever, it is just a ploy, this organization does not want to win. They will give you the excuses of injuries and that the draft picks need a million years to develop. Also, is Hobson fucking high? Good TE's don't exist anymore, that is the one position our defense can NEVER defend. That's why those two shitty white TE's for the Browns Hayden and whoever the other guy is usually kill us.
Also:
Antonio Gates
Owen Wilson
Vernon Davis (will make pro bowl next year.....watch, Alex Smith and him connected a lot in latter part of season)
Dallas Clark
Jason Witten
Visanthe Shiancoe
Brent Celek

Yea, I guess Hobs is right, the day of the good TE is gone.

[TheCarlPickensClause]

Neutered Bengal:

I didn't know that Owen Wilson gave up acting to play Tight End in the NFL. When did that happen? Was it before or after his suicide attempt?

[TigerJ@w]

OK, someone tell me BratSkunkSki knows about a real NFL TE looks like??? His TE draft selections since he has been here...

Sean (Weird Body and Smoke a Pack a Day)Brewer
Matt Schobel
Matt Sherry
Chase Coffman

Hobs is right, there are no good TEs out there because this organization does not have a clue on how to select or spot a real NFL TE.

You guys must have missed this Brat quote...........

“There is no doubt it’s getting harder and harder. They don’t have the same background that you look for in the NFL these days,” Bratkowski said. “There are guys out there, but they’re always going to be short in one area or the other. Blocking or pass receiving. You find the best one you can and use their skills the best you can. You need a guy who is a main blocker and who is a main receiver.”

Let me see, Brat picked Coffman for his passing skills, but never even used him??? Clueless I tell you, Clueless!

[TY]

Let's not forget that just 13 days ago Hobson contradicted himself by telling some unfortunate question-asker in "Ask Hobson" that it would be stupid to draft a DL in the first round. Does he even read his own material?

[Hofbraunow]

Posted by Sly Vramavomovich on February 26, 2010 at 09:07 AM

"And who's bemoaning the fate of Tim Tebow? As far as I can tell the guy is going to get drafted way too early, get PAID, and then find himself out of the league once his rookie contract is up. Eat and drink and find pleasure for free pretty much everywhere in Florida for the rest of his life. Then when he does a long time later he'll go to heaven. Not a bad gig. So let's tone down the sob song for Tebow."

LOL AAAHHH Ha...

and, very true

[Hofbraunow]

Rippin'...This Site Is Rippin'

You'll Take it and You'll Like It

[ that Means You, Mike Brown ]

[I hate Brakowski]

Maybe see if Jerome Simpson can play TE????? If we don't go for big physical reciever in free agency then lets just drop back ten and punt. Then we can start talking bout 2012, and what QB's are in the draft that Carson Can mentor as we rebuild!

[Wyatt]

Well, I know who the Bengals WON'T be taking in the first round. With a 40 time of 4.33 seconds at the combine, Cal's Jahvid Best is going to be drafted by the Raiders. Anyone wanna take me up on it? I'll send you a sixer if I'm wrong.

[Neutered Bengal]

@CarlPickensclause;

I'm human, I meant Owen Daniels, I stand corrected.

[HappyNat]

Amazing that Hob could hurt his credibility even more, but he keeps reaching new depths of stupidity. "the pro tight end as we once knew it has become a vanishing species." What?!? That is the ramblings of a lunatic. Along with NB's list, off the top of my head there is also Tony Gonzalez (not bad for an old dude), Shockey, Ben Watson, Dustin Keller, and Heath Miller (boo!) who all make positive plays for their teams and would be a 100% improvement over an TE on our roster.

[the truth]

I think people were missing Hobs point about TE's. The classic TE is a dying breed, the Gonzalez's of the league are being replaced by the Gates and Winslows of tomorrow. Maybe i'm wrong but i took what he said as meaning that the classic run and blocking TE is being replaced by the fast pass catching TE that doesn't block as much.

http://footballrecruiting.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=252617

[CurseofBoJackson]

Anybpdy read Ludwig's article about how the Bengals will take Tebow in the first or second round? Classic stuff, Bratworst's daddy worked with him on mechanics and Sam Wyche likes him, so it's a lock right?????? Right??? What's sad is that NONE of us can sit here and call bullshit on Chick, who BTW is getting dumber every day he works for the enquirer.

[blester01]

Bo,
Did you see my comment on Chuck's BS article? My post was under the name dbucks.

The Cincy media loves to stir this bullshit up every year and scare the sell out of the fans. I remember the past couple of seasons them writing about the Bengals going after a RB. Each time it turned out to be false- go figure.