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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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February 24, 2010

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Article Fail.

'dirty half-french culture' HaHAAAAA....

That's gold...

You can bet I'm putting that on there, the next time I see a form with a field that asks for 'ethnicity'

Dammit, I wanted the Chin's thoughts on Matt Jones, not the Reds' new defectee (as funny as that was) and the f'n Olympics, which are so boring I can't bear to watch them. Hockey? Really? That's even a sport?

Thank goodness for the Chin. I haven't seen word one of the games.... they are 'games' right?

Didn't take your happy pills this morning?

BTW, you actually said that people were 'voraciously eating' when talking about the new Reds pitcher? That's what 'horking' is -- as in: "He was horking down his Big Mac...."

I know this is off the topic but saw this on NFL.COM

A pair of 2009 division champions will kick off the 2010 NFL preseason when the Dallas Cowboys take on the Cincinnati Bengals in the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game in Canton, Ohio on Sunday, August 8, the Hall of Fame and NFL announced Wednesday.

How great would it be for the WHODEYREV to show some love at the hall of fame...lol.

Any ideas......

...shittsburgh just franchised their kicker - does that model of how an nfl organization should be run warrant the swill from this site that mikeyboy got for "apparently not knowing you don't have to use the franchise tag/who the f@ck tags a kicker?"

@votasi,

Wow. Pittsburgh's actually making a worse decision in franchising the drunken, paper-towel dispenser-punching, field goal-missing kicker than the Bengals did. Between that and Lame-Ass Sweed, kinda makes you wonder if whichever Rooney it was taking the Ambassador to Ireland position is going to be a watershed moment in their franchise's history, not unlike Paul Brown's death was in the Bengals'.

Posted by: Michael | February 25, 2010 at 04:29 AM

"I know this is off the topic but saw this on NFL.COM

A pair of 2009 division champions will kick off the 2010 NFL preseason when the Dallas Cowboys take on the Cincinnati Bengals in the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game in Canton, Ohio on Sunday, August 8, the Hall of Fame and NFL announced Wednesday.

How great would it be for the WHODEYREV to show some love at the hall of fame...lol.

Any ideas......"


Yes Michael, as a matter of fact:

Mike Brown will be inducted into the Hall of Fame,
as the inventor/innovator of
(Paul Brown was an innovator as we all know):

* The Hail Mary Draft (repeated for many years)

* The Hail Mary Franchise Tag

* The Hail Mary Injured Reserve

* the Hail Mary Offensive Coordinator

* The Hail Mary Front Office

* The Hail Mary NFL Combine

And, in a glowing example
of the separation of Church and State,

The Hail Mary Stadium Deal

"Wow. Pittsburgh's actually making a worse decision in franchising the drunken, paper-towel dispenser-punching, field goal-missing kicker than the Bengals did. Between that and Lame-Ass Sweed, kinda makes you wonder if whichever Rooney it was taking the Ambassador to Ireland position is going to be a watershed moment in their franchise's history, not unlike Paul Brown's death was in the Bengals'."

After the Superbowls, Dan Rooney has reached a point in his life where he really doesn't give a s**t...

He probably envies the 'wreckless abandon' that MikeyBoyBrown has shown
(Mike Brown's Bengals are the ultimate symbol of Vulgarian Decadence,
i.e. Making Money While Being A Loser)
and wishes he could be more like him, but alas...
...at the same time,
Dan has decided that it's never too late :)

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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