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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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January 12, 2010

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Probably with the promise of becoming HC in '11. This only supports my theory that Mike Brown died last year.

Confirmation of sorts... http://twitter.com/maualuga58/status/7680315998

Now if only we can get rid of The Brat.

See! Like I have been saying, this has vecome a fan site rather than people who want the vest for the city -- by this team. Objectivity has gone all to hell as people became enamoured in the playoffs. No more were people concerning themselves with the root problems (that still exist) with this team. No, instead, they got those glassy eyes and spoke out like Kevin Bacon in Animal House: "All is well!" You guys forgot your mission. You lost focus.

Mikey Boy Brown didn't do a damned thing during this season to help the Bengals get to where to go to. That problems still remains but now, instead of 'going for the jugular', you pussied out and become "lovey-dovey'" again. You fell for it -- what a fucking laugh -- and a disgrace.

Remember the first go around with Marvin Lewis? All the cards fell into the right position. The planets were aligned. He showed what he could do with quality people from the coaches on down to the lowest player. Blame is not on him. However, reality will show yet again how bad this team is and next year at about halfway, you'll be bitchin' about how Mikey Boy Brown did this, or didn't do that... ...It's disgusting. Divide and Conquer!

Think about it for a second... You have Pittsburgh playing less than spectacularly and clearly a team that when everyone is healthy, they are world beaters but Polamalu going down early in the season, making shampoo commercials, and never getting back to 40% of what he was prior to the injury? That's the recipe for two wins right there. Baltimore? They didn't play to their potential with the Bengals. It wasn't the Bengals gameplan that was so staggeringly effective but rather that Baltimore just didn't play well in both games with the Bengals. Another two wins. Cleveland? Well Cleveland is just Cleveland -- another two wins. Six 'free' wins right there. Play a couple of hacks (lose to two of them (right off the top of my head) in Oakland and Denver...

The Bengals weren't 'limping' into the playoffs. They were sliding in under the radar and knowing that they were going to spring up and be staring right in the face of better teams that were going to slaughter them.

The problems have not gone away folks. Luckily making it into the playoffs has blinded you.

And just to be pre-emptive in nature, before the next toadstool decides to bring up the practice facility 'lark' again, I remind you that we could have had a domed stadium -- which would have allowed for far more use that that shithouse that is known as PM... err... PBS! We wouldn't have had to have dorks barking about having an indoor practice facility (an asinine statement if there ever was one!). Keep in mind that many of the media have made the case that the Bengals should've practiced in the same conditions (i.e., OUTSIDE) that they were expected to play in -- and that may very well have had a deterimental effect! Betcha you didn't take that into account -- as well as I betcha you dismiss it summarily because you are so vain a people that you just can't say: "I was wrong!" You are like Fonzi on "Happy Days"! "I was rruhronssshhhhh!"

Again, tell that fucking team to go to hell and you can then get on with your lives.

Think about it for a second... You have Pittsburgh playing less than spectacularly and clearly a team that when everyone is healthy, they are world beaters but Polamalu going down early in the season, making shampoo commercials, and never getting back to 40% of what he was prior to the injury? That's the recipe for two wins right there. Baltimore? They didn't play to their potential with the Bengals. It wasn't the Bengals gameplan that was so staggeringly effective but rather that Baltimore just didn't play well in both games with the Bengals. Another two wins. Cleveland? Well Cleveland is just Cleveland -- another two wins. Six 'free' wins right there. Play a couple of hacks (lose to two of them (right off the top of my head) in Oakland and Denver...
Really dude? Baltimore "didn't play to their potential against us?" No, Ray Rice just ate us up because he wasn't feeling 100 percent, and Mark Clayton and Derrick Mason were just slow out of the box those days right? No sir, this team played good D both games and made plays at the end of the games.
Beyond that, I don't disagree with much you wrote, but, dude, we ARE fans, all of us, or we wouldn't be here, this IS a FAN site, without fans it wouldn't exist there Einstein. So while every problem that existed before the season still remains organizationally, we wanted to see the team succeed. Tough concept I know, to root for your team and still make attempts at affecting necessary organizational change. Let's start with attempting to affect the firing of Bob Bratkowski. Perhaps we could set up a prank phone call a la 'Anchorman' "This is Chim Richalds from the league, you've been assigned to head up the restarting of the european NFL, you're going to Scotland, pack warm clothes."
Never in a million years thought this team would resign Zim, have to give credit where it's due, so good job with that, now fire Brat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hire Scouts!!!!!!!!!!!! Hire Bill Cowher as GM!!!!!!!!!!!! Build a big boy practive facility!!!!!!!!!

We don't have unlimited time, money and manpower for a never-ending string of PM Tasks, wch. We're already advocating withdrawing all financial support even in the face of a playoff season. There's not too many easy next steps after that.

In fact, the only real PM Task that would have been useful would have been a PM Task to keep Zimmer. And the Bengals just signed...Zimmer. So PM Tasks appear to be working even when they don't exist. Far out.

I am with wch!!!

So, Mikey Boy finally did what every other freakin' owner ROUTINELY does, which is not let go of a good coordinator that it only took 18 years to hire. Big freakin' deal! They kept Zimmer, now we've entered football utopia.

We still have a staff that has holdovers from the 2-14 era (e.g. Bratworst) which NO OTHER TEAM except maybe the Rayduhs would do -- a new coach comes and he picks his OWN staff. We still have no scouts. We still have drafts that prominently feature Jerome Simpson. We still have a so-called "general manager" whose solution to two injured tight ends during the very first week of training camp was ... to do nothing, leaving stone hands Coats to drop and fumble away at will. We still have a so-called "general manager" whose idea of using the franchise tag is to protect a sorry-ass kicker who made exactly 4 game winning kicks in his entire career. We still have what will be by next year a 20 year streak of no playoff game wins. We still have a team that was 1-6 against the entire rest of the AFC in a year where they got to play the AFC Worst division.

Mike Brown still sucks more than the guy with a graduate degrees in suckiest.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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