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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« WOOO! PLAYOFFS! MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN! | Main | Mike Brown Admits His Flaws and Takes Accountability! »

January 05, 2010

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The first thing I thought this morning was, "the weather is pretty crappy, bet the boys will be practicing at Wall2Wall, Then that is exactly what I heard on WLW not 20 minutes later

Utterly embarrassing...


¡Viva Revolution!


Question for the posters:

How many trips in Mikey's 1987 Lumina does it take to get the entire team and staff to Mason?

Winner gets a FREE Denny's kids' placemat and one crayon.

the sad part is that all the kids who want to play soccer today wont be able to play because the bengals will be there practicing. Even worse is the fact that they will stay and try to get autographs.

Hey, at least he's spending the minimal money to bus the team up there and rent out the facility and not simply cancelling practice like they did during the lightning storm in preseason.

Right?

Right?

Aw, who am I kidding - this dude's eternal cheapness is an embarassing reflection on not only himself and the Bengals organization, but also all the goodwill his father engendered from the NFL community.

Hey, it's not like it's an important game. What's important is

(a) The money for the tickets is already in hand.
(b) There probably wouldn't have been another playoff home game anyway.

So they don't train in the conditions they are supposed to play in and still get their respective asses handed to them -- BRILLIANT! Again with this fucking bullshit about having an indoor practice facility. Can you not understand the common fucking sense behind practicing as close as to how you will play and that means the conditions that you will play in?

So you hold a practice outside and then a practice at a suitable venue -- Wall2Wall Soccer? Just tell me what they can't do (besides punt and for that tell the fargin' punter to step outside and kick the fucking ball!)!. They can run the same plays. You don't need an eighty foot celing for that. So, if they can get the time and place scheduled, what difference does it make? I've yet to hear you or any other person on this board refute this logic (namely because it can't). What happened, sonny got called by his indoor soccer coach telling him not to come to practice because the Mean Ol' Bengals took over the place? Is that it? Unreal!

Whose turn is it to bring snacks?

God I've really learned to hate Jet's fans and there lard ass coach. FUCK YOU REX.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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